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MercyManic



Limbus Patrum (Coven)

Vampire Rave member for 18 years.

Status:  Obtruder (51.86)
Rank:  Member
Honor 0    [ Give / Take ]
Affiliation:  Limbus Patrum (Coven)
Account Type:  Regular
Gender:  Female
Birthdate:  ?
Age:  ANCIENT
Location: 

Quincy, FL




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Quote:

Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title.---Virginia Woolf




Internet Explorer has an issue displaying .png files properly, If you are seeing ugly grey boxes around my text graphics it is because microsoft blows goats.

Consider installing Firefox or Opera. Both are free, more secure, and have less bugs than i.e.

ALL the images in my profile are my own work. Please don't take them without asking.











Describing myself accurately to others would be a great deal easier, if I weren’t so damned odd! I’m not anyone’s idea of a typical thirty-something. But then the majority’s idea of such is little more than a well worn cardboard stereotype anyway.

I was born and raised in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I ran away from home at 16 and began a long strange trip from there. I've lived many places, been both homeless, and well off, blissfully in love, and broken by despair.

Now I'm 33. Some have said I am wise, but when I hear that I just think of the long string of mistakes that have gotten me here.

I think it would be fair to say I’m a walking study in contrasts. There is a flipside to almost every trait I have.

I can be very cynical, jaded, sarcastic, and even a bit bitter at times. I’ve watched the system fail. I’ve had my heart completely broken. Many of my most fervent and heartfelt prayers have gone unanswered. All but my most closely guarded dreams have been crushed. My sense of humor is very dark and leans to black comedy. And I sometimes curse in a floridly creative manner fit to embarrass dockworkers.

On the flipside of all that darkness is a strong sense of whimsy. A childlike wonder at the simplest of things, like storms, bugs, and stretching cats. I didn’t get to act like a kid much when I WAS a kid, so I began making that up to myself as an adult. I must be on my third or fourth childhood by now. *grin* I still like light bright, leggos and plushies. In fact I can be bribed to do almost anything not completely against my personal code, with a fox plushie. (I have this complex thing about foxes and kitsune.) I loved all the Harry Potter books, watch lots of cartoons and anime, and can often be seen barefoot in cutoffs and pigtails. If I had a theme song it would be “Ruby Tuesday” by the Stones.













I am very well read on all manner of religions and belief systems. On a personal level this has translated itself into a strong but relatively unstructured spirituality. I would say I’m somewhat pagan but borrow more from the east than the west. I seem to mesh well with Japanese Shinto, American-Indian shamanism, Taoism, and Hinduism. All that is heavily seasoned with the type of esoteric Christianity that most Christians like to lynch people like me for. I like studying and sometimes dabbling with Hermetic philosophy, sacred geometry, Kabbalism, and Gnosticism. I’ve also taken the work of Carl Jung very much to heart. Most of all, his essays on synchronicity. Flow, and my way of syncing with it are rather apparent in my life. Chaos too. I think Loki may well love me. I have quite a fondness for Thomas Moore’s theories on the power of personal myth as well.

The flipside of this one is that pretty much ALL fundamentalists, of every stripe make me shudder and wish for an M-16. I secretly laugh at a lot of the more “Out there” people, at least in my own head. Sometimes quietly with like minded company. So. If you really believe… that aliens have implanted something in your noseSome magic bus is coming at the end of the world and only the properly saved have tokens for it… The moon landing and all subsequent space exploration was faked on a movie set somewhere in Nevada… Or anything equally improbable. *coffcoff* Best you move along now. This is not the profile you are looking for.













Although I’m really good with taking care of people physically and emotionally, I suck with the financially aspect. I have rather serious stress and anxiety issues, that paired with the fact that I can’t drive (legally blind) makes me kind of useless with holding down a job for any length of time or pulling my share of the weight when it comes to bills. I’m not proud of it, or even content but I’ve been trying to change that about myself for the better part of 17 years now. I had only small limited victories with that battle. It’s weird I just shatter under work related pressure, but I can handle more household and interpersonal tension/angst than a trained therapist. This has been a breaking block with many people I’ve loved. If you think people who can’t hold down a 9 to 5 are wastes of air… Again, best move along. As it stands now I've been working as a live in nanny and housekeeper for more than five years. It's a job I've come to find very rewarding. I love my family as though they are blood kin.









I can fit in almost anywhere, and make friendly conversation with almost anyone but I’m most comfortable around my fellow freaks, nerds, and outcasts. This has helped contribute to my becoming something of a subculture tourist. Name any offbeat group of people and I’ve likely not only been there, done that, but was given the special glo-in-the-dark limited edition t-shirt.









I have a VERY active inner life, peopled with fallen angels and repentant monsters as well as many other creatures of myth and legend.
I love to write dark fantasy and horror fiction.
Many of my characters come from the walk of life I understand best... The fringe.
The runaways and the harlots, the homless and the mad. Many have been my friends over the years. When I write is is their voices I hear, their stories that are desperate to be told. The street can be a sordid place, but there is friendship, honor and loyalty there too.












Fair warning, I also like to trip and to poke smot… um a lot!I do it for both recreation and spiritual journeying. I don't care if you think this is wrong, I just don't want to be lectued on the subject. I don’t get many opportunities these days but the love is undiminished for all that. I love junk food, red meat, nicotine, caffeine, porn, good beer, and lots of hot sauce too. *Puts on her bright red t-shirt with HEDONIST printed on it in giant block letters*












I debated talking about this for a while, since it’s a bit of a sore subject with me these days. I started thinking and dressing in the manner described as goth long before I knew there was such a label. This was back in the late 80’s, when people were just starting to discover hair metal and early techno. Meanwhile my tastes ran to oldskool heavy metal, and darkly flavored works of dead authors, not to mention using electrical tape as a fashion accessory. I just thought I was a balls to the wall phreak at the time. (I was). Sometime in the early 90’s I started seeing talk shows featuring kids as weird, or weirder than me talking about being goth. (I thought, whoa! Is THAT what I am.) There was no community or scene for me to take part in. I *was* the goth scene at my school, and trust me, nobody thought it was cool or trendy back then. Quite a lot of people were humorously afraid of me though. (A large number of which assumed I was a Satanist. I let them think that. It cut down on the number of @&& kickings I got.)

Since then though Goth has become something entirely different from what it once was. Now it is mainstream, trendy, and expensive. Where once it was a expression of a refusal to see the world in the same candy colored light as the sheep, now it has become just another tool *of* the sheep, and a lucrative commercial product to boot. Nuevo goth kids are viciously cruel to each other based on attractiveness, perceived gothness, and other purely superficial things. Once it was all about not judging people based on surface traits. It has in recent years become it’s own antithesis. So I distance myself from the label now, if not the music and literature. If you want to think of or call me an elder goth go right ahead. I don’t really mind, but call me a granny goth and you might get pimp slapped. If you think some people are too old, too fat, too ugly, or too nice to be goth, *YOU ARE NOT GOTH YOURSELF*, but just another rabid poser. There, that’s my two cents. (Actually that was more like a buck, seventy-five.)















I joined this site mainly as a way to meet intelligent dark minded people. So far that has been going very, VERY well. I do not consider myself to be a vampire. Though there are things that have been said here regarding psy-vamps that make me wonder. Lets just say I’m keeping an open mind, but I’m still skeptical. We can leave it at that for now, can’t we?












1. Plushies
2. Christmas lights, (even when it isn't Christmas)
3. Trying on old clothes you haven't worn in forever and finding money in the pockets.
4. Beer
5. Knowing I have a whole carton of ciggs and therefore need not worry about my next nic fit.
6. Pocky, (all flavors)
7. Cats
8. Thunderstorms
9. Used bookstores
10. Purple glittery lava lamps.
11. Epiphanies
12. Cartoons (incl. all anime)
13. The number 13
14. Jeans covered in pockets where you can stash all manner of interesting crap. *nods*
15. Manic Panic
16. Flannel Sheets
17. Foxes
18. Anything depicting a fox.
19. 4:20
20. Purple Pens.









1. Guys who have "No fat chicks" bumper stickers.
2. Not being able to drive
3. Fox stuffies being incredibly hard to find.
4. Owing people money
5. Losing money
6. Cleaning the cat boxes
7. The cat getting in the cat box and taking a dump while I am cleaning it
8. Computer Viruses
9. "Friends" that only call when they want something
10. Allergies
11. Being Lonely
12. Two faced people
13. Nic Fitz
14. Writers Block
15. Winter
16. People who are happy *all* the time
17. People who are unhappy *all* the time
18. Stingy winged things, (i.e. bees n wasps)
19.  Flat smelly pillows
20. Peepel that dont evun tri 2 spel rite







Anything by Virginia Woolf, Clive Barker, Oscar Wilde, Charles De Lint, Voltaire, Storm Constantine, Stephen King, Lord Byron, Neil Gaiman, or Tanith Lee, and Terry Moore's Strangers in Paradise just to name a few...
There's just way too many to list!




Vanilla Sky, Run Lola Run, The Usual Suspects, Donnie Darko, One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest, Cool Hand Luke, The Attic Expeditions, Fight Club, Magnolia, Jacob's Ladder, A Clockwork Orange, Bringing Out The Dead, Last Night, Stigmata, Cube, SESSION 9, The Excorcist, Orgazmo, Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dead Man, The Brave, Interview With the Vampire, The Devil's Backbone, St. Ange.



V.A.S.T., Sisters of Mercy, Faith and the Muse, Wolfsheim, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Switchblade Symphony, Wumpscut, Beborn Beton, Evanescence, Apoptygma Berzerk, Everclear, Metallica, Ozzy, I.C.P., Radiohead, The Beatles, Motley Crue, The Stones, Poison, Simon and Garfunkel, Crystal Method, Aerosmith, Eminem, Phil Collins, Moby, Soundgarden, Red House Painters, Nirvana, C.C.R. S.O.D., N.I.N., Alice in Chains, Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie, Velvet Acid Christ... many MANY more...



Fullmetal Alchemist, Vampire Hunter D, Kino's Journey, Evangelion, Vampire Princess Miyu, Haibane Renmei, Kite, InuYasha, Blood the Last Vampire, Gravitation, Angel Santuary, Bastard, Battle Angel Alita, Wolf's Rain, Devil Hunter Yohko







Get your player at Mp3Profiles.com



Member Since: Apr 02, 2006
Last Login: Jan 22, 2011
Times Viewed: 7,575



Times Rated:535
Rating:9.398

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Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
23:30
Dec 21, 2023
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Witchykitten
15:59
Aug 26, 2023
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