In the absence of light there is only darkness. That darkness is fed by numerous things in life. It can be fed by your fears, your concerns, your troubles and your worries. If that’s the type of darkness you choose to live in. You can also live in the darkness that is fed by the beauty of night. The night envelopes the beauty of the world we live in. When the darkness blankets the earth it shows the jewel like stars in the sky, the outlines of what could be and lets the sounds free that are normally muffled by the everyday hustle and bustle.
In the darkness everything is obscured unless you really focus hard and look beyond the darkness.
Each person practices a form of obscurity. We hide the parts of us that are difficult to understand. We look and wonder if possibly there is someone out there like us. We search, we look, and we listen while obscuring that part so others cannot see. We expect them to be forth right in their ways, but we are not in ours. Yes, it happens. It’s the way of life.
Would it be easier if we were just nameless?
Perhaps even faceless?
Would it make things easier if we could just hide everything so that no one could see who we really are?
Would people like us the same?
Have you ever thought about these questions? Or may you just prefer to go and skip along on your merry way and not wonder about the what if’s and the how so’s. I understand that. At one point I did the very same thing. However, my thinking was altered when I myself was altered. So now along with my new being, I also have a new frame of mind. It’s amazing on how we change and we become closer to our obscure selves in the moments we need to. But even becoming closer, and even getting more comfortable, with our obscure selves, we tend to still hide them away. We pack them like they are a dirty secret hidden in the back of our closets or drawers. We only bring it out only when we are alone of if we are with someone that can accept that part of us. The latter is very rare. People can say they accept it and then when you reveal it, they fly away like the last moments of summer.
Now I am sure you are all waiting in antica….. pation for my tale.
My tale is boring. It consists of pain, suffering, jadedness, death, betrayal and all those things you find in the classic novels that people love to read.
In the old days I would have loved to gather you all around and weave my words into a story that you could get lost in. I’d sit and listen as you ‘oooo’ and ‘ahhh’ in the right places. I’d feel my heart start to flutter as I see the look of worry and shock dance across your face. I’d then start to spin my tale faster and faster watching you get lost in every word, your breathing becoming more and more pronounced as you anxiously await the next verse. I’d revel in it, I’d bathe in it, and I’d devour it. But like I said before, I am not the person I used to be. I am merely a shell of that person. While the mental aspects are still visible at times, they are nothing more than memories resurfacing. Memories of a once was. They are like a divot in time. No matter how many times you try to cover the divots, they resurface only to be seen again. No matter how many times they are patched up, the moments overturn and are shown again. It’s a vicious cycle, but life is a vicious cycle at times.
I am reinventing myself in an obscure way.
I am no one, yet I am someone. I am in the mind of all and in the hearts of many. Then again, that may not even be the case at all. I may just be saying that so you can have some form of outline to view in the darkness. Very rarely do we like to go in totally blind.
Think of me as nameless and faceless, just another soul floating around in this world. Will you still judge me even if I am hidden within the shadows of nothing? I’ve always wondered that question. If you are hidden will you still be judged? Will people assume they know you or of you and then case the stones to damn you? But I digress; it’s so easy to do while I am visiting the mental halls of my mind.
I will step forward out of the obscure darkness to leave this small but of information.
I do not believe that after you read this we are going to be the best of friends, the worst of enemies or even the keeper of each others secrets. To think that would be egotistical and absurd. I am well aware that there are going to be theories thrown around about this and that, which is wonderful. Every story is much more exciting with a few theories thrown in, don’t you agree?
As I come to a close I wonder if I have wrote all this in vain. I wonder if someone will actually stop and absorb the words on the screen or just let their eyes wander over it looking for the end to move on to the next thing. Maybe I have. Maybe I’ve just put forth these words for nothing but my own attempt at trying to purge a spot in my mind.
Time will tell, it always does.
I kindly ask that you not steal ANY images from my profile. These are not images from the internet. These are images I created in order to express myself. I do not put tons of images on my profile because everything (except the background) on here are images that I have made myself. The whole profile is a reflection of me, not just the words. Thank you.
Also, please refrain from sending me messages having to do with adding me, rating me and returning the favor. I will not be doing any of them. I can see that people have rated me and what they've rated me because I'm a Lifetime member. I have never gotten into the leveling aspect of Vampire Rave on any profile I've had.