The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

$16.99 "OSFA"

Style: 96% Cotton, 4% Spandex
Sizes: OSFA
Closure: Stretch fit
Description: With the cool Zig-Zag stitch, this is a special cap specifically designed by Green Peace, PETA, the E.L.F., WWF, Save The Whales Foundation, Tree Huggers Unite and Tree Spikers Union 105 all for the preservation of the NW Old Growth Forests. Unfortunately, they found out that their CFO was an ex Navy SEAL (That's Bad Ass for short) who was working for Uncle Sam's club house (Homeland Security - Covert Branch) who, (in order to "create confusion, disension and to supress hostile actions amongst the hippies") absconded with all of the caps... and sold them to us. Yeah baby!
So, now we sell them for a profit to them rich bastard oil drillers from Texas (and cow tippers from Kansas) and we donate all proceeds to buying my FRIGGIN' HUMMVEE! Not those chinsy Lego style Hummer 2s and 3s, but the massive ones that you need to park in your neighbors driveway 'cause their so (in Arnold's voice) "massively huge that they require a monkey under the hood to shovel buckets of gasoline into the carberator!"

Yahtzee!