The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Steve Rogers, a total reject in the army, skinnier than Pee Wee Herman, volunteered for a secret project to get a bunch of steroids pumped into him to turn him into a super soldier. But they didn’t call it steroids back then. No, they called it something like the Secret Serum or something that’ll get past the FCC and 60 Minutes at the same time.

So, Steve takes the drug, some nazi kills the head scientist, who of course didn’t keep any friggin’ notes so the formula is lost forever, and the military uses Rogers as a poster boy for freedom blah, blah, blah giving the U.S. permission to trounce anybody who says “F U” to ol’ Uncle Sam. (Read Confessions of an Economic Hit Man!). Eventually Steve gets fed up with the government and bails for a while, but he keeps coming back until Marvel and the government team up to off good ol’ Steve. Just goes to show you, if you piss off the wrong people, you’re gonna get killed. For a brief synopsis of this theme, read the Bible, preferably Old Testament. God bless Steve Rogers, the real Captain America. Stupid Marvel!

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