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I've been with my boyfriend for 4yrs.
We have good days and bad days but within the last 2yrs years they've been most bad days.
I'm not petty enough to leave someone because school and/work get too stressful but when is enough, enough?
When do I stop bending over backwards for him while he'll barely nudge for me?

Thoughts, opinions, stories??

when he eats the last porkchop

some would say it is enough when things are no longer a two way streak
as in one of you is not being equal to their partner


personally from my experince

it boils down to who has decided the other person is no longer worth it

generally that's when its time to leave


when you decide they are no longer worth it

When you no longer can trust your partner

When both are like ehhh meh whatever

I agree, when you can't trust them any longer...

Any story/advice I could share at the moment would be tinged in bitterness so probably not helpful, lol.

I think by asking us your question, you gave yourself the answer.

When someone says that they've put everything they can into a relationship, and it still isn't working, that's a sure sign it's almost over. When something is broken, both parties have to fight the issues to fix it. You mentioned that you have been fighting, without so much as nudge from your partner. If you haven't already, try sitting down with them and discussing what's been bothering you. If change still doesn't happen, it's showing that they don't care to fix what is going on and it's time to seriously consider splitting. Taken from personal experience.

By starting one, why ruin a good one night stand or friends with benefits deal.

But I would say when the other half starts thinking they can change you.

Hopefully it would not come to that. It is so sad when two people invest their time, effort, and emotions into each other to realize later down the road that they are not meant to be together.

If though that it is not meant to be, there are signs. The obvious is, if the person you are with is withdrawing from you. He/she is no longer interested in being with you as much, or is not "with" you when he/she is "with" you. Know what I mean?

From your perspective, if you find that you no longer have the same feelings you once had for your partner. You are no longer in love. You no longer want to be with him/her. You find yourself thinking of other men/women, as potential love interests. Your partner is irritating you in ways he/she never has before. You find fault in many things he/she does, and you never did before, and vice-versa. Now, this happens in good relationships, but the difference is, there are no love feelings/emotions that go along with the irritations.

Just some suggestions:)

If you're thinking of ending it, then you've probably got your answer.

If there's no trust or communication, no mutual respect? Then you've got to ask what you're getting out of it, versus what you're putting into the relationship.

If it feels more like a really shitty job with no pay than a relationship, which judging by the way you worded this it does, then it's time to cut your losses.

If there is no longer trust, or good communication, then it is time to cut your losses. (I should take my own damn advice there, but I refuse to act like a sane person when it comes to love.)

If "How can WE fix this?" has turned into "Why am I trying to fix this?" then it is time to cut your losses.

Stop for a moment. Instead of thinking about how much you love them, ask yourself how much you love you. Then ask what they've done lately to show you how much they do. If someone else you loved (A cousin, sister, etc) was in a relationship like yours, would you advise them to leave?

Take your own advice.

I did something similar to this with my own relationship. But my partner was willing to talk about things, and come to a mutual agreement that gave us both what we needed, and meant that we didn't have to lose each other in the process. If they can't give you what you need, then you need to love yourself enough to do that yourself.

I hope this helps, and whatever you decide to do brings you happiness. >Hugs if you want them