The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Hunger
06:54 Dec 29 2007
Times Read: 690




How can this longing... this lust, not kill us???



I try... I try like hell but find myself caught up like a spider in a web... wishing, longing... wanting...



Hungry.



One little word that goes out of its way to drive me crazy.



I feel so... empty. And I want nothing more than to feel a soothing ribbon of crimson across my tongue. Needing it... Needing it so badly it does, quite literally, hurt.



Tis insanity.



I know I must not... I cannot. Not now anyways... I have to hold it off.



Shall it always be like this? An insatiable lust the burns away every thought but of it? I would die for just a taste right now... a single drop to sooth me...



....... so... hungry. *sigh*

Lost...
05:37 Dec 27 2007
Times Read: 693

Lost?



I have been walking alone for such a long time... walking on roads that scare so many, my only companion the darkness I carry deep within.



But it doesn't scare me so much anymore. The lonely feels good after a while... but it always leaves me wanting something more.



Why must I harbor such impossible dreams? Why can I not reach out and touch the one thing I really want?



Alone...submersed in such seductive thoughts that I can hardly breathe. My mind is always painting such sinful images... I'm not sure I would have it any other way.



Curses and Candy... that is what it truly is. My whole world, summed up within three words.



Three words most people will never understand.

Words of Wisdom?
05:23 Dec 21 2007
Times Read: 699




Passion... pain... blended to perfection into a single, perfect emotion.



I have been told that I am haunted... That I carry a certan sorrow within me, one that many misunderstand as something of this world.



It is not.



Haunted, marked, scared... yes these all apply to me... but so does blessed, perfected, and touched as well.



Its all about balance. Never misunderstand that!



For every great pleasure, you will know a great pain. For every wisdom earned, you will barter off a little piece of your spirit. And every time you venture into the darkness of yourself, you will come back changed.



Do not sell yourself to others in little pieces. That is the path of regret. Hold on to what is truly you...



On second thought... you had better figure out just what IS truly you... And that my friends... is the whole meaning of this bad little acid trip we call life

Strangeness...
05:35 Dec 12 2007
Times Read: 701




You find the strangest things lurking in the shadows of yourself. A mystery thought solved, but then reborn anew. I find it is always assumptions that get you in trouble.



Take nothing for granted.



We all know very little after all.



I find that my mind is always too full of ideas that are too big to keep inside of it. Bumping and grinding into each other, shattering apart only to reform new, more extravagant ideas.



Enshrouded... only the most well trained eyes can see.



The mystery of "Me" is far from solved.

Reaching
17:57 Dec 05 2007
Times Read: 704






Reaching and stretching... and trying like hell to understand. It tires me some days. Im tired of reaching for understanding, and not finding any. Im tired of looking for answers while knowing there are none.



Truth is such a muddied term. So subjective... everyone seems to have their own. My own truths are slipping... and I'm tired of trying to make sense of them, and tie them together.



I have hit a point of over-saturation perhaps. Time to step back? Perhaps...



I know what it is I truly want. I want to "feel" and connect, and to know... for just a moment... that I am not so alone as I feel.



We are all so careful... like tom cats circling one another in some back street. Jaded and certain of harm.



I have... so very much to learn... And only my own black wisdom to keep me company most days. Im rending myself apart with it.



Pain and growth.... go ever hand in hand.

Tell me...
21:10 Dec 02 2007
Times Read: 706




Tell me what you know. What do you know about desire, about lust and about hunger?



You know nothing, that's what. Harsh words? Not at all, count yourself lucky... because unlike you, there are some that live in a world of thirst and hunger that borders on madness. There are some that feel pain on a level you will never understand. There are some that long for something, anything, to take away the pain of the empty spot inside of us.



To hunger... this is my reality. There is no satisfying my hunger, although from time to time I allow myself to slack it just a little. It always goes wrong in the end, always ends up with another heartbroken person, or another stalker, or another soul in ruin. Such a curse... and such a blessing this pain is.



I yearn for someone that doesn't exist, someone that can understand. I have been seeking Him all my life, this Dark Eros, and although I feel him so close sometimes, still he eludes me. I Swear I can feel him all around me, and feel him in my dreams, but still I wish for his touch... just one moment, one kiss, and maybe I would finally know peace, know what it would feel like to have this demon hunger filled, even for just a moment.



Bloodlust and longing... My only real friends.