The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Centipede Joke
06:08 Dec 20 2011
Times Read: 610




So, this guy goes into a pet shop and asks the owner what would make a good pet. The owner says, "Well, I've got this really cool centipede!" "What!? A centipede?! I never heard of a centipede for a pet!" "He's really well trained- speaks English, likes to help around the house, knows how to fetch the paper. I think you'd like him." So the guy takes the centipede home and sure enough, it washes the dishes (quickly too,) watches TV and laughs in the right places, knows a lot of millipede jokes- a pleasure to have around. So, one day, the guy asks the centipede to go to the corner store and buy a newspaper. The centipede says, "Sure, glad to!", grabs a dollar bill and goes out the door. Ten minutes- no centipede. Half an hour- no centipede. An hour- no centipede- so the guy gets worried, goes out to look for his friend and finds him on the doorstep. "Hey, I got worried- where've you been?" "I'm putting on my shoes! Got a problem with that?!"

TWO ROACHES
01:48 Dec 16 2011
Times Read: 633

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley. "I was in that new

restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The

kitchen is spotless, the floors are gleaming white. It's so sanitary the

whole place shines." "Please," said the other roach, frowning.

"Not while I'm eating!