The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

most people who read this are going to think that i am just some mental mixed up emo...... i am really not..... everyone has feelings like this...at some time or another.. it is all in how you deal with them that makes you either mental or emo... or crazy.. or whatever...i chose to rant in writing in order to maintain the clarity of my mind.. to keep things in perspective.... so that i don't go crazy, it is hard to talk to people about these things, they either dont understand, or they understand so much that they can help you, they bring you further in.... i chose this way because there is no one to talk back.. no unwanted advice..... i can just get it out.. rant and rave and feel better when i am done without some crap advice being thrown at me by someone who doesn't understand in the first place.....so anyway, just felt that this needed to be done.. i am not crazy... have no intentions of ending my life.....it is just talk so that those feelings don't get trapped and explode and i do something stupid

There are days.. and this is one of them... that life is the pits and i wish that it would just end.... i know that everyone feels that way once in a while, but it seems to get worse and worse for me... each day that goes by i sink just a little bit farther into the darkness.... no one ever see this.. no one cares enough to see it... no one ever asks if things are ok.. no one cares enough to ask...



i get lied to, and used, and abused... and maybe its my own fault for putting myself out there for it to happen... but no matter what i do, its never right, its never good enough, things will never change, i will be alone in this shadow, destined to wander the darkness alone.... that is how i feel anyway... i don't see things changing.. i see the same things happening over and over again no matter what i do differently, no matter how i act, no matter how i treat people, everything that comes back on me is the same, it never changes......



these are the days that i wish someone would have pity on me and end this misery called life.....



maybe i should be carefull what i wish for eh?

i have serious foot in mouth syndrome.. i always manage to make people mad and stop talking to me and i have no idea how. I don't know what i do or say that does this but it must be something..... i swear, i am not sure how much more of this crap a person can be expected to take.. could people at least tell me what i did or said before they just up and stop talking to me?

i mean come on lets grow up a little and step up to the plate and be adults.. i can if only i knew what i did that made people so made at me that they did not want to talk to me anymore...



I am gonna start getting a complex if this keeps up..



like i need that along with everything else