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With a heavy heart I am writing this journal. So much has happened in such a short amount of time, its like everything has crashed in on me at once. Today I have to let go of a 10 year friendship. I never thought this day would come. Their is a difference in asking for space to deal with hurtful feelings , and throwing someone away. I don't understand where all that hate came from in that journal, yes I was protecting someone, but I have also been protecting you, I do love you, and I do miss you, and today you walk away with not only part of my heart, but you will be taking part of my soul.


We never argued much over the years, but when we did it was brutal.. Since this began I have tried to keep this between you and I, but you just couldn't do that. You took things I trusted you with, and twisted it to be so hurtful, I have never bashed you, or have I ever discussed anything that you have confided in me, and I never will. When I saw that journal entry, I knew we had reached the end of our journey together.

I sought out guidance from someone I haven't needed to go to in awhile, but he was right in all that he spoke. I know who I am, and there is no one that could ever judge or bash me, like I can to myself... Those that know me, they know what type of person that I am, those in the future will also come to know what kind of person I am.. I needed to hear his words, and as much as this hurts me.

Today I say goodbye to you, I will follow the guidance that he gave to me, from this day forward, I will live as though I have never met you, You go your way, and im walking away mine.. In spite of all the hate that your throwing, I wish you love, acceptance, and I wish you to have many blessing along your lifes path

Blessed be

COMMENTS

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MoonSong
18:52 Aug 27 2019

hugs

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GothicMoon
01:49 Aug 28 2019

Hugs

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POST COMMENT

Ave, here we are again. Have you noticed that when you find happiness, the kind that takes all your thoughts, a certain kind of wonderful happiness that reaches you way down deep on a spiritul level, that is when people stir up drama, is there a built in switch that gets flipped when someone reaches a happy bliss, that someone just has to try and suck all the happiness out of you?

I am on a spritual awakening at this moment, and im actually happy for once, so I will address the latest drama here, then im moving on, as I refuse to let you suck the happy and peace out of me.

The past few days I have watched things blow up way out of where it should have gone, Ive seen very childish and petty behaviour, you know the kind that would have gotten a witch hung, or burned in other lifetimes. Recently I have reach out to a few here that I have always had respect for, I believe that any type of relationship, whether friendship or romantic, that you must earn their respect, and friendship, I have no issue with putting in the work to earn this from those I care to know. Ive seen 2 ladies" and at this point I use this word loosly" that have went after a supposed long time friend over something so very petty, I have watched as you sit up high on your high horses snurling your nose down, as if your so much better. I watched you belittle and attack someone you claimed was your friend, with friends like this, who truly needs enemies?

I watched this and im thinking damn, im happy to see how you are before I put anymore of my time or myself in earning respect and friendship of someone that isnt worth mine. Both of you ladies have my cell number, I would have thought more about what you had to say if you would have actually made the effort to use it, the fact you choose instead of coming to me and talking about my actions and what you thought of them, you choose to be a keyboard warrior and hide behind the screen, so now the high respect I had for you is out the window.

13 years ago I first came to this website, The very first friend that I made here ,is the lady you choose to attack. This lady saw me thru some very dark moments in my life, I have serious doubts that either of you would have made time, to sit up on the phone with me at night when I couldnt sleep, and when I just didnt want to live anymore, This lady helped me, yes, she and I have went thru some things, some hurtful things, but you know what, when I look at her, I dont see every mistake she has ever made, as we grow from each mistake that we make, a true friend will see you struggling and instead of judging you, they will reach out a hand, and pull you up, and help you move past things. You all want to live in years past, if you were truly her friend it would not matter what happened years ago, but right now, if you choose to continue to act out, you will have lost one hell of a friend in her, and the name calling, I have learned that those that throw out that distatsteful word, are the very ones whom represent it oh so well..

Ladies instead of looking down on her in such a petty and childish way, take a look in the way you have both carried yourselves and the injustice you have done, in closing.. Keep thinking that their isnt much that I can do, if that indeed helps you sleep at night, that one part of myself that had to grin at those words, also had the thought how priceless it would be the look upon your faces when you realized I was in the room with you, and indeed witness to what I can indeed do. lol Everything I have ever written about my abilities are true, but one never reviels ones full hand.. There is alot that I can do, however. At this moment in time, there are other places I would like to be, and frankly you are not worth all the drama and toxic energy that you project out. If I do indeed decide to reach out and touch someone, lol and I do that on occassion, I dont desire it to be you two that I reach out and touch.

Also to those who watch and judge me from a distance, just keep looking down on me, and thinking your so much better than I, keep that picture in your head of who you think me to be, beacuse if you judgemental self acts anything like those two, then I prefer that you dont know who I am, or what I am about. And you two ladies just keep on hating, Would you like a cookie? Or maybe a badge? As you fit well in the hate club I have, that just continues to be.. Later Bitches lol