The house is silent. The cats have called an end to their reverie for this night.
It is too quiet, and in my mind I scream.
A sad lonely sound, far away.
The sound of flapping ears no longer breaks the silence of the night.
No resounding trumpet of the hounds.
No tails beating against flesh so hard that there are bruises.
No slime to be removed from couch, walls or flesh.
Just silence and the sound of my heart hurting again.
More emptiness, more sorrow, more pain, more.
My beautiful dark beauty of a Dane child looks to see where his brother has gone.
His eyes scan out of doors when he is out.
His eyes trail every inch inside and waits when the car returns, hoping his brother is come home.
The toys and treats, they soothe, but only for a bit.
Then he looks and waits and waits again.
He does not understand.
He does not know why his mother cries.
He kisses away her tears and wonders if she is angry with him.
Is that why my brother is not here?
Did I make her mad, so that my brother was taken from me?
I can see the questions on his heart.
I can hear them in my soul.
I have no answers, only questions.
Why us, what lesson were we to learn from this brief life?
Why was it me, that had to help take his life?
Was I to be there for his final moments?
Did I comfort him, or did he think that I hated him?
Did I only add to the fear and the pain that he had?
Or did my cries of love and leaving let him know he took part of me with him.
So many pieces torn from me, from my soul.
I wonder, how much is left?
Is there any left, do I have a soul?
Did I do everything I could?
Did I do what I should have, could have?
He held my heart in his eyes, and he was gone.
His heart so strong, did not want to leave.
His heart fought for me, for his family.
Do I do as much?
Do I carry as much love, loyality and devotion?
I think not.
I am not as noble.
Or as good.
Or as kind.
Maybe I killed my teacher.
And some of myself too.
I wonder and fear the answers.
Too close, too far and not enough.
I love you my little man.
You gave me gifts I can never thank you for.
You gave me your heart, your love and your grace.
Forgive me.
If you come to me again, in this life.
I will do better by you.
I hope to have the grace to embrace and know you.
I hope you choose me, again.
Goodnight dearest one, play on the hillside.
Splash in the water and never be afraid again.
Be bold, run and have no fear of falling.
No injuries, no pain, just free and happy and in peace.
I hope I learn from you.
I love you..
Goodnight.
COMMENTS
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DarkWolfman
18:37 Mar 24 2008
Very nice indeed
HellsGuardian69
01:55 Mar 25 2008
very nice very nice indeed
pouletdragoon
02:08 Mar 25 2008
This really summarizes the pain and sorrow everyone feels when a loved one--not just a pet, but any family member--is lost.
Since energy and matter can't be destroyed, and I've always thought of the soul and mind as energy, I'm sure your puppy's in a peaceful realm right now.
This reminds me so much of my cat Rachel when we ran away and her kitty buddy Abraham got depressed. Very moving. Five stars.
widowspeak
17:50 Mar 31 2008
Very touching and grief filled. I am moved to tears. Have no doubt you did everything your caring soul could....
Dragonrouge
17:58 Apr 16 2008
I love this piece of jewelry!
I have lost someone de3ar to me too soo I like this story double.
Isis101
04:18 Jul 10 2008
This made me cry...and one of my cats is looking at me like I'm crazy.
HunterAja
18:51 Feb 05 2009
All of your kind comments humble me. He indeed was a rare "jewel" and I doubt I will have such a unique soul again in this lifetime.
Thank you one and all.