The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Search for the Vampire Within
01:34 Jul 17 2012
Times Read: 408








In my last Journal entry I went through a bit of my history. Now I’m going to try to tackle the question of why I am here on VR.



In recent years, I’ve been drawn to all things Vampire and Gothic. I love the mystery, sensuality, darkness and romance of it all. So much of the imagery sings to my soul in ways that I cannot put into words. Take the image above for instance. It resonates within me in a way that leaves me aching with desire.



As a Witch, I was always drawn to dark Goddesses. My coven worshipped a Quadruple Goddess instead of the normal Triple Goddess. We had the normal three; Maiden, presiding over the waxing moon; Mother, presiding over the full moon; and the Crone, presiding over the waning moon. We also had a Dark Goddess that held sway during those few days when there was no moon, before the new moon appeared. My affinity for her grew quite strong. During rituals where her energies were called forth, I would often be the one to channel her.



As this Gothic nature has grown strong in me in recent years, I have looked towards finding both its cause and its satisfaction. I had been aware for some time that there were people who thought they were vampires. At first I thought this silly, but as I learned more, I began to accept this. However, trying to find information on exactly what this meant was difficult. I found people who lived a lifestyle but had little belief. I found people who were role players. I found people who actually drank human blood and I found people who were psychic vampires. This last was interesting as my occult experience had taught me about psychic vampires and how to defend against them. I had no real communication with any of these groups with one exception. I did meat a fellow witch who also claimed to be a psychic vampire, but she did not fit the model. She consciously took energy from others, usually from people who were willing to share it.



Here is the question that has nagged me as of late. Am I a Vampire? I have some interesting observations to add to this. First of all, I’m rather pale and I can sunburn in a matter of minutes if I’m not careful. I also just plain hate being in the sun, always have. I tend to be a night owl and often stay up all night working on projects. Finally, as a kid, I developed fangs. (I’m not joking about this.) They were filed down by my orthodontist, at my mother’s request, when I was 12 or 13. They continued to grow and once again they were filed down by another dentist when I was 16 or 17 years old. This was done over much protest on my part. Today, my incisors are still a bit longer and pointier than normal and seemed to continue to develop a bit after the last filing. I so wish I had my fangs now as nature had made me. I have even thought about asking my dentist if there was a way to do this. Don’t ask me why; I’m not sure. I just feel something was taken from me.



Recently, I found VR and I figured it was time that I really got out among my own kind. I know I will probably meet people from all the vampire categories I described above including role players, Goths, sangs, psychic vamps, lifestylers and probably more. I welcome this. I’m also looking to learn more about all categories but especially about those who see themselves as Vampires. I have read a lot, but I really think now I need interaction with others.

Growing Up
20:28 Jul 16 2012
Times Read: 426






Hi everyone and welcome to my very first journal entry. If you read my profile, then you learned a bit about me. In this first post, I plan to go a bit more in depth as to who I am and why I joined VR.



My earliest memories were of being something special, different from everyone else. I’m not sure why this was exactly, but I think it was a knowledge possessed from within, as opposed to anything that I was told or learned elsewhere. As I grew up, both the night and moon held special places in my heart. I would often go out at night and just sit on the patio, especially if there was a full moon out. This made me feel especially magical.



My family was very conservative and very Catholic. I even went to Catholic school for several years. As a child, I could never get into the whole Catholic thing. It was like I knew I was meant for something else. As I grew, I began to resent the time I was forced to spend in church each Sunday. I was spiritual, but I knew my path lay elsewhere. I studied Eastern religions and philosophies, even Native American. None really sung to me.



I don’t recall how, but I soon found books by Sybil Leek, a witch from England who was a member of an old coven in New Forest. I finally believed I had found what I was. One needs to remember that this was the 1970s and there was no internet and very few books available to someone my age. I read all the books I could on Witchcraft. Fate brought me in contact with a small coven of witches shortly after I turned 18. I have always believed that my strong desire had put out a beacon on the astral to bring us together. Later that year, in November, I was initiated into that coven.



I remained in that coven for about 20 years until becoming solitary about ten years ago. As vampires became more and more prevalent in our culture, I found myself more and more drawn to them. As the terms “Gothic” and “Goth” started to become vogue, I found myself drawn to these things too. Most of my coven found “Goths” as unrespectable and they didn’t care for them. I kept my interests to myself, but I was hooked. I had often wished that I had access to a Goth club nearby, so I could go out and let my spirit free in the night.



Anyway, that is a bit of my history. It is much abbreviated for the sake of saving the reader the whole long story. If anyone has questions, or wants to know more, feel free to leave a comment or ask me directly. In my next entry, I plan to explain why I joined VR and go in depth into some of my views on vampires.