Sittin' with THE MAN07:11 Feb 09 2006
Times Read: 882
This past weekend we went to OKC for the Schwans Annual Banquet. It is a corporate affair. The dinner part is black tie, so everyone gets their best duds on and has a Schwans pep rally all day. The managers, and there are many of them, have to go 3 days earlier to have all day meetings and then eat with each other. I wonder what more they could possibly have to say about how much money they are making, what new rules to enforce and how they can cut the warehouse's pay even more, than they already say in numerous emails daily, and manager's meetings on a nonstop basis?! Apparently this time, it includes FILMS TOO! And from the top dogs that couldn't be there that night.
Every year we cringe when banquet time comes round. We loathe the event. Like I said, it is a pep rally and I just don't dig it. They all smile and give awards to the drivers and basically fuck off the people that load the trucks, and keep them going on a daily basis, working on their days off and always getting shit for having to work overtime hours. Of course, the suits never work what they make rules for, so it's easy for them to incorporate new senseless rules.
Every year, I want so badly to ask a higher up, to explain to me why they call is Schwans and have a fucking Swan as their "mascot", their symbol, plastered everywhere! It is not a Schwan, that bird. It is a SWAN! Don't they know they sound and look like idiots? And then misinformed people call them Swans. Ugh...I have asked people at our tables each year about it. I guess I haven't asked the "right" people. I am waiting until he quits and then I have a host of things to ask about.
It started at noon, where there is check in to the hotel. Everyone shows up at 1pm to listen to various speakers, watch films and hear about their latest money making projects and how they made millions last year and want to make more. That ends around 4 or 5pm and there is an hour break to put on the black tie clothes. This is Oklahoma, and there are a lot of tractor heads. Still, jeans are not permitted, and not even at the after hours party they always have set up. Nope, not this year. Other years, yes, anything you want to wear. This year, they are dickheads about it. Ah, this is so cathartic!
Coctails are served at 5:30pm to 6pm, where we then go in to dinner. That lasts an hour and then the awards are presented. Jewelry, TVs, DVD players, all sorts of awards are given out......to the drivers. Warehouse has to sit and watch. They get nothing. Even the wives of the drivers get the same things. It's crazy.
After all of that, if you are still awake or haven't performed a Hari Kari, then it's time for the free bar. But this year, it was that you each got 2 drink tickets. They have a shitty DJ that plays all sorts of cheesey music so grandma and grandpa Schwans can cut a rug too.
This year, I didn't go to the meetings and waited until the supper to go down there. I kept my head down and just bolted for the banquet room and table. They had steak. It was a very odd consistancy. Wasn't very good. But the salad wasn't bad. The apple pie was good, though I didn't eat much of it. Veges rocked.
My brother Justin was waiting outside the hotel room to hang out. Neil was on his way too. So we sat inside and chilled. Danny was boozing it up at the "free" bar, in the meantime. By the time Neil got there, I was pissed because Danny was MIA, and getting quite drunk. He finally showed up after I texted him and calling him for 20 solid minutes, "U R so fucking in trouble! U don't just leave us here!". There is more, but you get it.
We all go to the banquet room for Justin and Neil to get some free drinks, but as soon as they get in there, some asshole goes up to them and asks which depot they are with......see, they were in jeans. Bad move, chester. haha....Neil pipes up and tells them which depot Danny is from, but too late. No suit, no service! So we grab everyone, including a drunk couple, and a very drunk Corey (Negroferatu here) and I drive us to the strip club. I am designated driver. I rarely drink anyway, anymore.
We went to Night Trips.
As soon as we get in there, Justin, Neil and I walk around to find a table. The place was packed! Danny, Corey and the couple (Chris and Christie) went to the bar. I could see Corey's head over the crowd because he is about 7 feet tall or so. Danny said later, that the Christie chick was pouting and he asked her what was wrong. She said, "I want to be up there!"...where the stripper was. Apparently Christie used to strip in Stillwater. She told me that earlier, actually. She was real friendly. She had just met me and was grabbing my hand and leading me around.
After a bit, I guess Chris and Christie disappeared. Hmm. Danny and Corey were at our table and I was trying to get Corey over to the floor to get some boobs in his face. hahaha...His new fav song is, "I'm in love with a stripper". Danny asked the waitress for her phone number. I leaned over to Neil, "He just asked her for her phone number". Neil said, "Yea, I know....I thought that was pretty smooth", kiddingly. Danny also invited a group of nearby Mexicans to the hotel room to party. I looked at Neil. "Did he just invite those guys to the room?". I started thinking of my new camera I had just bought, and my new pc drawing tablet...my small stuffed animals...my sanity....my patience. Neil said nervously, "Um yea, I think he did." Neil knows that wasn't a good idea and backed up, as I said to Danny, "Come here.". He didn't seem to want to.
After awhile, though, we got the room number changed to Corey's room, where the strippers could go. I was fine with that.
Finally 2am came and we left...and without the couple. Justin, Neil and I played "You don't know Jack" on the playstation and "Wheel of Fortune". Normally I do well, that night I sucked. Danny had gone up to Corey's room and passed out on his bed and Corey was on the floor. ha....Finally he came down to our room and passed out.
After Justin and Neil left, the throwing up started. *sigh* In between Danny throwing up, I cleaned up the beer bottles, etc., and started packing for leaving the next morning. But I had to hold his hair, clean him up and get him to the bathroom.....and stay up so he wouldn't go out like Hendrix.
The next morn (day) was horrible. He was in such bad shape. I was afraid he had alcohol poisoning. He just kept throwing up. At Burger King he threw up. In the Petsmart parking lot he threw up (I was inside looking for a rat cage for Poopie). In the car he threw up. Course, he held that until I pulled over, except a bit that hit the windshield and dash. I had been driving and saw him looking over his shoulder to the back seat, looking for something. I asked what he was looking for, afraid of "a bag", and as I looked back at the road, I heard, "PFFT!", with his mouth full of puke and ballooned up like a stuffed hamster's cheek. I started laughing because it was just too horrible and was like that episode where Peter throws up in his mouth in The Family Guy. I kept seeing that in my head.....and hearing that sound. I asked where he wanted to pull over, and he tilted his head back, and gargled, "Over there!". I pulled over, he finished the job outside the car, and I went to a quick mart for bags.
He swears to never drink again.
We went to bed after we got home.
Found out that Chris and Christie had WALKED back to the hotel from the strip club! It was bitter cold that night, and she had no shoes on (I was told later. I hadn't looked at her feet. I could have sworn she had shoes on. ?) and had no coat, and they walked back within 10 minutes of being at the bar. I am still puzzled at that. I can understand in the summer, maybe....
Danny has amazing recouperative powers. Truly. He was much better that night by the time he went to work, after sleeping and dandy after work. If it were me, I would be crawling around on the floor to the toilet, begging to be able to throw up or sedated or shot....like in the old days.....if I were still alive at that point!
On the plus side, he hasn't smoked at all, in almost 3 weeks.
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