You are not a Premium Member and you are blocking ads. You are using Vampire Rave for free. Vampire Rave relies on ads in order to operate. Please disable your Ad Blocker. This can easily be done for Vampire Rave only.
If you are using Chrome, click the red hand button at the top right of the screen:
Then select: Don't run on pages on this site
If you do it correctly, the red hand will turn to green and you will no longer see this message.
XxBeautifullyDisturbedxX: Well I found you under, "Hot moms" Describtion says "Beautiful 27 year old mom, has two breath taking childern. She is one of the most sweest people with a big heart" ~reads more~ Oh look found ya
i love how you forget how much ive been there for you, buying you pm's, ur friends pms, how everytime u needed someone i was there, i even went beyond the internet just to make you smile.
wasnt feelin happy with my hand tattoo so much so went to another place and got him to extend it, add in a irish star for my nan and a wolves star for my uncle.
The last few days, well tbh the last few weeks, ive been up and down, emotional, happy, sometimes a lil sharp and snappy.
But all my true friends have been patient, and just been there for me regardless. Offering kind words, making me laugh, or just simply sitting in my cam keeping my spirits high. Listening to me yab on about Natalie, me playing songs n vids she sang, i prob bored u to death lol.
Yesterday was hard and a few ppl made it easier when i came home and got on cam last night.
So i wanna say thankyou.
To Elisha (shes new go add n rate her if u dont mind) She came to mine, and took care of my daughter and took her to school for me, so i could go to the funeral with no worries, then sat at mine n waited for me and stayed for a few hours to keep me company. i love u girl!!
Spookshow - that woman is amazing, i love her to bits, just a text from her to offer her support made me smile n feel cared about. Thankyou x
8thHunterScar - i dont think he even realises how much hes helped me past few days, just bein around, chattin away and play xbox with me, and the countless times i beat him :P. ur amazin dude, dont ever change !! ~hugs to the retard~ thankyou.
QueenofChaos - Came to my cam and offered me kind words, listened to me cry and gave me some of her great advice, i love ya girlie, thankyou.
Nellmorgan - shes sat listening to natalie sing on my cam over and over and over and loved it, always offering me such sweet words of comfort. love ya nellypops, thankyou.
The666Reaper - Theres a suprise right? me n him have had bad times, but hes been there, sending me texts letting me know hes just a phone call away, sendin me hugs and kind words. Thanks dude i really appreciate it, loves ya x
Tattooedmommy - this goes without sayin, shes got me anytime, she doesnt even need to be there for me to know that shes there. She knows when to give me the space n when to be there with a shoulder. i love u girl xx
Then theres a EXTRA special thanks to AlienZombie89 - thankyou for telling me u do not care what is goin on in my life an that my friend passed, thankyou for telling me that my ups and downs are pathetic, cus people who are grieving arent allowed to be up and down... and thankyou so much for telling me even my friend dying is no excuse for me being up and down an snapping at you when you wouldnt back off. your one of a kind...
You and me together with our backs against the world. Dry those eyes bexi baby so that we may jump in those motherfuckin puddles. Girl, you are my best friend and my sister. No matter what happens in your life I'm but a message away. Miles apart but together forever in our hearts. I've got your back baby. I'm the e-shoulder you can cry on through anything. I'm the yahoo or skype that you can vent to about anything. I'm here always. I love you girlie. Forever until my heart stops beating and then it will still never die.
they played songs of natalies, every so often would hear her voice thru the speakers.
they played a song nat had wrote, n halfway thru her voice cracked n she was like 'blah blah blah raar raar raa that was shit ill do it again' every1 laughed.
the vicar said after 4000+ funerals he can honestly say hes NEVER seen one like he has today and could clearly see how much of a impact she made in her 32 beautiful years of life.
Her daughter got up on the alter and sang joyful joyful with such pride in her face, for a 13 year old girl, words cant describe how proud every1 is of her, such a strong girl, just like her mommy.
the gospel choir natalie helped out sang, and Natalies mom got up on the altar with them and sang for her baby girl.
tributes, her friend sang a song that they used to sing to wind her up 'natalie pooper, who lives by the sea, she eats poopey and she really needs a wee' lol i can imagine her cringeing like ASIF you all just sang that at my funeral lol.
So now, Natalie is finally resting, and we can begin to carry on, and make sure shes alive in our hearts every single day.
Nat, we love ya, always will. Go shine with the angels sweetheart ♥
aww bex hugs you tight. i will thinking of you all day today love you. if you need to talk or anything you know were i am. ♥
♥
♥
♥
♥
PRIVATE ENTRY
11:20 Jan 22 2012 Times Read: 744
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
10:29 Jan 22 2012 Times Read: 746
so the last couple of days have been up and down ones.
But today, i have the sick, twisty, clenching feeling in the pit of my stomach, know that tomorrows the day we say goodbye to Natalie.
It feels as same as the day she passed.
I cant believe this is happening. Shes actually gone. we aint gonna hear its a sick joke.
Funerals are like, the end.
I never hear of peadophiles, rapists, n murderers being taken too soon, its always the best tat get taken. she was aged 32 with a amazing life and beautiful kids and a fiance who loved her so much.
life.isnt.fair
I know shes going to have the best send off she deserves. Im gonna try hold it together, but even the thought of it, im welling up, n i know, as soon as i see her babies, i wont hold it. my dad jus brought a pac of tissues round n said you gonna need these for tomorrow. Bless him, he knew nat well too, she was with his best friend for a long time so he got to know her pretty well.
she was loved, its not hard to see. Her daughter made a RIP page for her on facebook, within a week she had 780 people liking, sharing memories.
past few days have been, umm mental to say the least.
most of us went after a certain 19year old girl, for supposedly pushing a 17year old boy to trying to take his own life, but it took cyanidesoulja and tattooedmommy to stand there and say you know what, we are just as bad as what we are accusing her of, by going at her. There really are 2 sides to a story and i for one didnt stop to ask.
we are all just as guilty.
so i apologise to cat.
but i will say one thing. most of my reason was a personal reason, so cat... next time we fight, and oh boy there will be a next time (there always is with us) do not EVER bring my kids into it.
ok i understand you trying to look out for us etc, but bear in mind, im a 27year old mother i can more than handle myself and my mind and the concequences of my own decisions. but thanks.
Nats tests were inconclusive. so basically we arent gonna ever know why she suddenly died aged 32 years old, how can someone so wonderful just go like that. leave her babies without a mom, what kind of monster is our 'god'?
heres another video of her singing. singing with the angels now nat. you were always a star. now youre a real star, teach those angels how to really sing, and how to party nat style ;)
23rd we will say goodbye to you, and you know youre going to have the most amazing goodbye ever!!
and on another note....
my blood boils, knowing that a defenceless kid tried to take his own life because of a nasty evil vindictive little girl, and i hope the pain of what she has done eats her up inside. i really hope you sufffer!! you preach about people hurting you, yet you wish children harm, that makes you worse than any of these people u try to 'protect' everyone from. you PUSHED a kid to do this to himself. if anyone needs banning from VR its you.
Srry to hear about Nat babe. But as for the bottom I believe she needs to just kill herself and make the world a better place. i have nothing good to say about her.
13:46 Jan 13 2012 Times Read: 888
I'm dying to see these background checks on me :) because i'm laughing, at the fact, i am probably one of the most squeaky clean people on VR.
I don't have a story. My dad didn't beat me, my mom didn't abandon me, infact my mom and dad are celebrating their 28th wedding anniversairy this weekend. My dad is the most amazing man in my eyes, he takes care of my mom night and day, she has M.S and she has good days, she has bad days, but she doesn't complain. TBH id say i had a pretty damn brilliant childhood.
Never taken drugs, apart from a lil but of weed when i was younger.
I have ZERO criminal charges against me.
Sure there's a fair few suicide attempts on my medical record and depression and self harm which i'm MORE than open about, not in a attention seeking kinda way, i just believe that mental health issue's shouldn't be such a taboo its a illness too :)
I know i'm far from perfect. But i can honestly say my actual family, are amazing.
So these background checks i'm waiting to hear about from lil miss attention seeker should be very interesting :)
So i have no story and i'm pretty damn ordinary, and that's how i like it. I'd rather people like me, or dislike me, for me being exactly who i am, not for a sob story to beg for attention :)
yea sounds like my life ex my perents are broken up hape all is well
PRIVATE ENTRY
12:44 Jan 13 2012 Times Read: 907
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
PRIVATE ENTRY
15:33 Jan 12 2012 Times Read: 930
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
PRIVATE ENTRY
11:39 Jan 12 2012 Times Read: 939
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
PRIVATE ENTRY
10:36 Jan 12 2012 Times Read: 949
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
PRIVATE ENTRY
17:34 Jan 11 2012 Times Read: 984
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
15:40 Jan 11 2012 Times Read: 1,002
don't ya just love vr?
Right im gonna say this here and now, read it don't read it i don't care
KEEP MY NAME OUT OF YOUR DRAMA
don't bring it to me
don't tell me stuff
don't involve me
if somethings going on I DON'T CARE
someones blocking u n downrating u, and?
is it going to effect your real life? are you going to walk around outside with a sign saying 'do not talk to me i am blocked and have a low rating on vampire rave'??
I never ever let my guard down, cus if i do, i feel ill get hurt, and every once in a while, you meet someone, who blows you away. And somehow your guard slowly comes down.
Am i scared? I'm TERRIFIED
But do i like it?
ALOT
First proper smiles in weeks. This has potential to break me.
COMMENTS
-
angelkiller
16:32 Jan 31 2012
awwwwwwwwww