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It's not my girlfriend, this other vampire that my soul liked, or bobby, I've mentioned him in past journals, not Gabe from Sleeping With Sirens, but he's comparable to Bobby in many ways.



This is the description I seem to be attracted to on deeper levels, it's always men that fit this general description that I have experiences with in the astral realm or find myself just plain attracted to:



*Tall, a little extra weight on him but not really fat



*nice hair, quite possibly on the longer side



*medium to dark brown/black hair color, not blonde or red at all



*artistically gifted, more so musically



*not very outgoing, kind of shy, quiet, and reserved, at least on a personal level



*not the "popular" one, I think more so the guy who has a smaller group of close knit friends



This is the general description that I keep being attracted to and I'm not sure why. I think on a deeper level my soul recognizes these things as the traits of my soul mate and keeps looking til I run into "the one" that is him.



I am in a happy relationship with my girlfriend of 9 months and if you asked me right now, I'd say I like girls more than guys, but if you pulled me out of my body it would probably be the opposite way around.



I thought I found my soul mate, the girl I'm with now, because of things that happened in her last life with my great grandma, who I'm very close with.



Then in the astral realm I kept going to this vampire, that fits the description above except for the extra weight and he's not too tall, but taller than me, so I thought maybe it was him, didn't like him so much though, he can be a bit of an egotistical ass, so I fought him off.



Today, I went for my orientation at work, met another Bobby in the parking lot who just got hired and almost immediately I feel like I want to target him, at least sexually. I want to basically vamp him. He too fits the description above. He's a younger adult but, eh, I'm 18 enough. He's a cook so we won't even be working in the same part of the restaurant, but still, I should see him enough.



so now I'm waiting and curious to see who has been chosen for me, seeing where life takes me, curious as to what type of guy I have been matched up with after seeing the contenders or the people my soul checks out to see if they are the one. I'd enjoy being with a guy who fits that description, it sounds pretty cool



also, the body, it's about perfect, my perfect cuddle buddy is someone with just a little extra weight so it's easier to get comfortable, they are like a heated pillow. I like to play with hair and think it's kind of hot on a guy. Taller makes me feel protected and safe so ya, I'm kind of excited to see who comes my way in the future, when the time is right, to meet this perfect guy, more perfect than my truly amazing girlfriend.

Dear English,



your letters have been cheating on you quite a bit with Math and his mistress, Algebra. I've found your X many times but he just keeps going back and getting lost, maybe you should have included him more



also your Y. Maybe he wouldn't feel the need to cheat if you promoted him to full time vowel.



When ever there is a negative number inside a even route symbol those evil numbers, they force your i to come along so they supposedly make sense.



and geometry, that's just a big oragee, all your letters go there and kick the numbers out of their shapes, those poor, lost numbers, I work so hard to find and place them but the letters just keep kicking them back out.



English, my job isn't to fix your relationship issues and control your letters, please reign in all of them, keep them away from math so he doesn't start neglecting his numbers, give them what they want to be happy and make them forget why they even went to math in the first place.



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I mean, really? when am I ever going to use more than basic algebra and geometry out side of high school? where is that ever going to come in to play?



When will I ever need to figure out a square root with exponets and variables, really? Then there are the cubed routes, 4th routes, and so on. What is a cubed route, 4th route, or 5th route, what route is it finding? What does it look like? When will I ever use that shit after high school?



I think the country would be much better off if it taught us math that is useful, like balancing a check book, doing taxes, or balancing a budget so we can do well financially after we move out of our parent's house. Isn't that what high school is for? To help us prepare to be successful adults?



apparently not because the government thinks it's more important to show off that their youth can do these fancy things that are useless unless you become a scientist or make a living doing math, and not all of us are going to do that, not even close!

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deathnitegrl
18:48 Apr 14 2013

totally agree.

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KurlyQ4196
02:09 Apr 18 2013

I'm a junior and am only short 1.5 credits to graduate, the only classes I have to take next year are English and Government, anything else, 7.5/9 periods is mine, might just go on a work release depending on how my job goes because technically I could just take 7.5 study halls and graduate just fine, but I'm not going to, that would be boring

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so lesbians, they don't like guys, not sexually, some of them, especially my girlfriend, don't really like them much at all.



yet some of them decide to dress and look like a guy and act tough and emotionless much like one, some will call them a "buck".



why would you want to become something you avoid and in some cases despise? I don't get it



It's also causing some issues for me that I haven't full on told her about yet because I dated a girl because I wanted to date a girl, not a guy with soft skin, boobs, and a vagina. I'm not even sure how I would tell her how I feel.



message me, comment if you wish

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deathnitegrl
19:21 Apr 14 2013

I don't know maybe it's jealousy, or it's in their persona to be masculine or they just want to follow a stereotype.

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last night there was a dance thrown by the school band. Only 20 people bought tickets in advance, not more than a few extras showed up. None of them were "popular" , for the most part there were about 4 lesser cliques that showed up.



I'm willing to bet if even one "popular" person bought a ticket there would have easily been 3x the people there



because there was such a small turn out the band is never going to do that again, they'll find something else to raise money.



There goes to show how much power the greater group has and how weak and powerless the under dogs can be

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deathnitegrl
19:19 Apr 14 2013

Also the popular person can say anything n be mean, but not the rest.

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when I was there last time she gave me some incense, the color reminded me of moss growing on a tree. She just told me to burn it and meditate and my great grandma Josephine would know why.



So I burned it Friday, it made me kind of restless and caused some pressure on the area of my face ranging from my forehead to the bridge of my nose and sinuses. I could tell it was messing with my 3rd eye chakra, it just felt strange but not really bad, didn't have to put the incense out or anything.



Friday night I astral traveled with Sleeping With Sirens. Spent a lot of my time with the second guy from the left, Gabe, I remember time with him most, then the first guy on the left, Justin, and time with the band in general. We were at a concert or festival of some sort and it was awesome! I saw a smaller band that I can't remember the name to perform too.



The weird thing about that is I never really liked them much. Their music is eh, alright, and there performances aren't that good either. Me and my friend stopped by to see them play a few songs live at Vans Warped Tour last summer but we didn't really get close either. I guess now they are alright though, pretty cool actually, especially Gabe







Last night I also had had dreams and remembered them, don't think I did too much astrally though. I woke up half asleep and remembered it and remembered it as it happened but now I forget



The weird thing about this all is I never told the psychic anything about my dream or astral life, just about a few dreams with Bobby, that's all. I never told her about how it's the main area where I lack good control and a general grasp of how to do it and use it and how I want to learn to astral travel effectively. I never told her, she just knew and gave me incense to help me along with it. It's weird how accurate and good she is. I guess over 30 years experience really got her somewhere.