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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching
while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?'
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."
Every time I watch this I fall in love with all 5 women, especially the guitar player at the far right. The woman behind her with the wolf eyes is also amazing.
The only way this could have been better would have been to somehow include Phoebe Cates. And this was made before the days of female genital mutilation. Just imagine these 5 women naked. I have. A LOT.
This next video proves that I am not he only person who has had a 20+ year obsession with the woman on the right, whose name is Julia Bolino. She now lives in England. I need to find an excuse to go to England. And the woman behind her with the wolven eyes is also amazing.
Oh, and funally, my nominee for second hottest music video of all time.
Whoever recruited these women and choreographed this belongs in the genius hall of fame. If there is a heaven, all of these women will be there.
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and money saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?"
'Yes Miss. My daddy told me a story about my Mummy. She was a R.A.A.F pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife."
"She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I have had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. (I know you'll find a way to break all this to her gently.)
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and
she is so nice. She has taught me much more
than you can begin to imagine.
But I know you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, and tattoos, and tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.
But it' s not only the passion... Dad… she's pregnant and I'm sure I'm responsible.
Stacy says that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more kids.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people
that live nearby, for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Please don't worry Dad. I'm 15, now, and I know how to take care of myself.
I'm sure that we will be back to visit, someday, so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son,
John
P.S.
Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse
things in life than the Report Card that's in my center desk drawer.
COMMENTS
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Isis101
04:11 Jul 19 2011
LMAO! Priceless, Luke!
BeautifulDiscord
08:56 Jul 19 2011
hahah I saw that joke in a commercial for V8 I think lol
PAGAN
19:22 Jul 30 2011
hahaha!
philosopher
19:20 Aug 03 2011
LOL!
NellMorgan
21:14 Aug 28 2011
Lol, really funny.