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Since I've been back, I've had people message me for advice, and tbh, it's been a nice feeling. If I'm able to help just one person, or even make someone smile, it's been a good day. I'm not a genius, and I don't have all the answers, but I will do what I can. I want to see this community thrive and be what it once was. Being there for each other is the start. I hope this journal entree finds those of you reading it well. Peace and chicken grease.

Mental health seems to be a controversial topic to talk about these days. Some believe that it isn't real, some are afraid to talk about it in fear of being judged, called crazy etc. And others, they don't want to acknowledge it in hopes that it'll just go away. I have Depression, Anxiety, PTSD and BPD. Most of these I've had since before adulthood. The PTSD came later from overseas and got worse over another incident while on duty. Having these issues, it's hard, there are days where I physically cannot get out of bed due to crippling depression, but I force myself to, I refuse to let any of my issues control me anymore. If you are ever having one of those days, I highly recommend the baby step method. Don't want to get out of bed? Do it anyways, that's a baby step. Go brush your teeth, that's another one. Take a shower, another one. Make some food, another one. Soon, those baby steps are going to build up and you are going to start feeling better about yourself and doing more as your day goes. Don't let your mental health control you, you got this and I believe in you.

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DiamondRose
20:52 May 06 2025

It's always a good thing when you have a positive support system to help you along the journey

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A few years ago my best friend killed himself. It broke me. I went down a dark path, I started drinking heavily to ease the pain, started taking pills etc. I was on a downward spiral. During this time, I met a lady that would wind up capturing my heart, something I never thought possible again due to past relationships and the damage caused. She helped me find myself once again. She helped me get back my control. The pain would come back from time to time, and it was hard, for both of us. The thing was, we weren't even wanting anything serious at the start, but she admitted to falling for me and I her. Fast forward to December of that year, 2 days after my birthday, a childhood friend wound up killing himself Christmas night, and again it broke me, but I tried not to let her know so that way it didn't leak out on her. I fought with myself to not do everything that I was doing a couple months prior. Come the new year, she ghosted me and it was the nail in the coffin. I took every pill that I had, well over 50, and drank a handle of crown. While doing so, I was talking to another friend who just got divorced and she was going through it as well. I wound up killing myself that day. I flatlined for 7 and a half minutes, the Dr said if it would have been a minute or 2 longer, I would have been brain dead. If it wasn't for my friend, I would not be here to type this. She saved my life, or at least is the reason for the one I have currently. It has been over 2 years now and I haven't touched alcohol or pills (unless prescribed) and have improved my health, both physically and mentally. I'm sharing my story here in case anyone ever needs someone to talk to, or just to listen. You aren't alone, I will always have an open door policy. I'm back for good.

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XLadyRoseX
02:11 May 06 2025

Congratulations on making it two years keep it up

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