The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I don't want to say I've healed too much, but I think I've overly healed. I've healed to the point that old hurts are nothing more than numb scars, names are just names, and what once drew me in—being in the know—doesn't even register on my radar anymore. It's fleeting. I look at this place and the memories flicker.

Those times feel like another time, another person. I've not grown cold or bitter—believe me, I could have. I'm still compassionate, caring, and very much the same in those regards, but I am not the same level of open that I once was.

I've learned to trust my own discernment, stop overreaching, and realize that not everyone should have access to me or the soft side of me. I've also learned that it's natural to outgrow a place that was once a prominent fixture in your life.

I want contentment. I want peace. I don't mean the type where you continue to keep tabs on people you're in conflict with. That's being involved without having to take accountability—something that was the norm back in high school.

I've started to form that peace over the last year. In extended times of silence, ruffled feathers, life throwing hurdles in the way, or whatever else life brings, the people who've stayed matter.

The ones who've decided to leave, left.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Gone.

I don't need to fill those spaces. At this point, I really have no desire to. Not because I'm jaded, closed off, or angry. I've just grown tired of the amount of mismatches and disappointment.

Attention and the quantity of people have become less important. I'd rather be in the shadows, quiet and unseen.

I've outgrown quite a bit here. I sometimes wonder if I'm beginning to also outgrow the place where I purge my mind.