The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

In my long tenure here, I struggled with things to write. Most of what goes on in my day to day life is not pertinent/relevant to anyone here, so I refrained. This, however, is.

I am an NPC to 99.9% of people here, and vice versa. I stay & write because of that .1%.

I learned a lot and have grown a ton since moving home. Things that did not make a whole lot of sense became clearer. Most importantly, I learned how vital it is to be accountable, as often as possible. Back when I was a 'regular' here, I, like I stated previously, had a really bad habit of drinking myself into a stupor. I would wake up the next day quite ashamed and embarrassed at what I had done/said. Things that could never be undone. Things I would never have otherwise done/said. I lost things.

This may not garner much sympathy from you, and maybe it shouldn't. These are things that most people don't need to be warned about. As for me, I didn't even start drinking until I was 40. I wasn't any good at it until I was 43. I had not mastered it until I was 45, and it had become an honest to goodness problem by 48. Tough lesson to learn.

Since moving home, I caught up with a fellow that I had not spoken to since high school. Long story short, he asks me if I still was in touch with Maya. Maya was a girl that I could not be separated from in elementary school. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I had totally forgotten! We studied together. Were inseparable on field trips. We even wrote letters back and forth until I got to high school. That's how far back I have been working on being the same exact guy I am today. I just want to learn, and become more useful/serviceable and accountable for myself and my friends.

This is how it pertains to this place. I couldn't put my finger on it when asked, but I met someone here that made me feel that exact same way. Like I was continuously improving...becoming more of what I aimed to be. Smarter. More accountable. More reliable. I mean, I keep a book that I write useful passages that I read in. Usually they come from people like Aristotle, or Cicero or Bruce Lee even. This lady actually got verbiage into my book. Incredible! I told her, once, that I reread our conversations and I think it kinda weirded her out. Now you know why, P. I thought you were brilliant and I had to write some of it down in my book.🏆

I could be wrong, here, but I like to think alcohol took that from me. I sunk so low that I cannot bear the thought of reaching out to her, anymore. Pure embarrassment. Who knows? She may have bolted for other reasons entirely, but I take it upon myself. It's the correct thing to do.

Today is her birthday. I wish for next to nothing. I DO wish we were still on good terms. Knowing her paid dividend after dividend. The kind of growth you cannot buy in a store.

They say you take on the characteristics of the 5 people you interact with the most. I really wish she was one of my 5. We could have been perfectly platonic professional phriends.
SO many questions I have had for her. Mundane and serious things alike. I know in my heart you would have had much useful input.

Sure, I forgot about Maya, but we were children. You, I will certainly not be forgetting. Traced my roots all the way back to elementary school, only to learn that wise/intelligent people/discourse has ALWAYS been my favorite. Because they/it endures!

If circumstances ever change, know that you have a friend in me.

Hope you have the happiest of birthdays and the most rewarding 2026.💙

DD