poor lola! we got into a car accident today... she's totalled. :(
super tired. -.- got to see jean and darrell tonight. they were hiding in my car and screamed at me. they scared the hell out of me. xD we drove to irquois and to wolsey and around huron tonight. it was fun. it was probably one of the better nights i've had in a while.
I recieved a card today from Melanie.
I wrote a four page letter to my goal tender from uwp.
I got to talk to Danko and mike today. xD
work in like a half hour. gross.
the new messages thing just scared the hell out of me. >.<
anyway... we went to the haunted house lastnight and it was kind of fun. :) i thought it was going to be scarier than it was. One of the volunteers asked me my name and if we could trade faces. xD I didnt scream or anything. :P we were a quite group. we did get lost on the last part though.
I took a puff of my mom's cigarette lastnight and I nearly died. :P
how does one stop the thoughts of getting high?
this sucks! >.<
sometimes when i'm just standing around at work the thought of getting high runs through my mind. it brings back memories... -.-
I saw britany and jordan today, and i'm 99.99999% sure she looked up and smiled at me. xD it made me happy.
i showed ann my socks today and she cracked up! they're toe socks. xD
i was on 12 and 1 today. yayy. -.- i wanted to be on 16, but im sure i will be tomorrow. xD
haunted house tonight with the family! work tomorrow at 4! darrell's coming down! i want to show her britany! soo maybe we can go out for lunch tomorrow or supper or something tomorrow. dklfjaslkfjaslkdfja soo excited!
I'm cold. -.- I'm not one to usually get cold, but I am tonight. >.< blech!
hockey scrimage tonight! xD woo!
i work 9:30 to 2 tomorrow. xD
my foot really hurts.-.- i fell in the freezer a while back when i was in the bakery and i didnt report it or anything or get it checked out. Every now and then it hurts really bad. like right now.
soo i was emailing kim lastnight on my aol account and on the side it has the messenger thing with your friends. The status thing popped up and i looked at it, and i completely forgot that i had britany as my friend on my aol thing. xD haha!
long day today. -.- I work till 3!
Darrell's coming down this weekend with Darrel Parsons. yayy! I'm not sure how i feel about that, but I get to see her!
we're moving my stuff downstairs! we're also moving the toys upstairs so i have more room. xD yes! we found a bunch of my toys that i used to play with when i was little. soo many memories!
soo i think i missed a day. It's actually 19 days till san diego. xD oops.
long day. :P it snowed here! i didnt actually know that until we opened to garage to go to my car for work. yuck. im not ready for it. oh well! it's here now.
oh my gosh, so we went to burger plus tonight for suppper. Casey, Britany, Becca, Shar, and Cindy were working tonight. Shar took our order, and mom specifically said she wanted hamburger salt on the fries and ed. So we pulled up and Britany was doing the burgers and Becca was doing the fries. About ten minutes later Casey brough us our food. Mom looked in the bag and her fries had no hamburger salt on them and she had no ed. She threw a fit and knocked on the window and Casey just stood there looking at us like we were idiots. xD Soo becca came to the window and mom told her she ordered hamburger salt on the fries and ed and becca told her that shar didnt say anything about thatthat. Mom started to argu, so Becca took the fries and mustve complained to Britany because she stared at me and gave the nastiest look ever and shook her head. I'm pretty sure they spit in it as well. >.<
soo that just kind of made my night. :P her face was like going to kill me.
then my fries and my burger were cold and it had too much ketchup and mom's didnt have any mayo on it.
guess it wasn't a good night to eat at burger plus..
19 days til san diego. :)
I'm not your ordinary kind of girl. My mouth gets me in trouble. I'm messy. I hate dresses. I love reading. I love getting dirty. I hate makeup, thats why I dont wear it. :) Some say I'm a discrase as a girl and I tell them to shut up. I cry alot. I laugh at things I shouldn't. I keep secrets. I listen to people. I'm an observer and take everything in. I'm a girl, but I'm not ordinary. :)
just a few things you should know about me.
20 days! I'm stoked. :)
It's been quite the day. >.< according to someone i know being bisexual is a choice. you're either gay or straight. Being bi is a choice! It is a person refusing to make one!
Sure, maybe you have an attraction to both men and women, but being with both is just selfish. Everyone has a preference it is a choice of giving the other up!
COMMENTS
That may be true I lable myself as bi but I know I am attracted to woman far more which makes me Gay but I do find a few men attractive once in a while!
I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, "Well, hey, we don't have a heterosexual-pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day?" I remember when I was a kid I'd always ask my mom: "Why don't we have a Kid's Day? We have a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but why don't we have a Kid's Day?" My mom would always say, "Every day is Kid's Day." To all those heterosexuals that bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is heterosexual-pride day! Can't you people enjoy your banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?
Rob Nash
I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant.
Paul Newman
“I don't think homosexuality is a choice. Society forces you to think it's a choice, but in fact, it's in one's nature. The choice is whether one expresses one's nature truthfully or spends the rest of one's life lying about it.”~Marlo Thomas
happy saturday ya'll! i hope you guys have a good one. :) mine's kind of boring, but going okay.
22 days till San Diego!
23 days till san diego! three weeks I believe! those five days away from south dakota will be AMAZING!( i dont count either travel days(flying out and coming back))
Soo I met this girl on facebook about a month ago. :) Her name is Magdalena and she's pretty sweet. I dont know her that well but she's quite the person. (:
soo i have a question. I dont know if anyone can answer it for me, but here it goes.
When one is referring to the lgbt(lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) community, why do they put l and g first and b or t? I mean isn't b and t just as important as l and g?
short shift today! my day is over. :) I'm not sure what else to do today. >.<
Soo I've written in here everyday. Is that weird? Is it weird that I feel comfortable writing my feelings down in an online journal rather than writing them on paper? Is it also weird that I feel comfortable sharing them with the whole world of vr and possibly whoever else comes along my journal? hmmm.... My friend Danko and I were talking today and he asked me if I was drawing like he asked me. I told him no, but I've written on my online journal everyday. He told me to go into details and stuff. So I told him that I write whatever goes on in my mind and I feel very comfortable with the fact that the world can read it. xD he told me he was proud of me. :)
I like writing in here. it comforts me. xD
25 days till San Diego!
today was a relatively good day. xD it didnt seem like we were too busy. =\ I work tomorrow too! I work a 9:30 to 1:30.
COMMENTS
just finished watching slc punk on the internet. I think it's trippier now than what I was high.... all in all it's a good movie. :)
http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/10/19/pentagon.gays.recruiting/index.html
one step closer to equality for all. xD
I just booked my flight to San Diego! guess it's official. xD I'm soo excited for it. to get away from here.
According to Melanie I'm hurting. I'm hurting because my dad isn't in my life. I haven't seen him since I was five. That's why I'm bisexual because my father was never in my life. That's why I like girls more than guys because my father isn't in my life. what the hell? anyway... I need help and I need god back in my life and I need to stop supporting gay rights and blah blah blah. I need to get my life back on track and become right with god.
two things:
One, I hate my father. He left my life when i was five. I learned to forget him.
Two, I'm not bisexual because my father isn't in my life... I'm attracted to both guys and girls, but am leaning more towards girls.
COMMENTS
Bisexual because your father wasn't around? What kind of creepy logic is that?
yeahh... i'm not sure... she makes me angry. she's this die hard christian lady and treats me completely different because I'm not the perfect little christian that i was when i was 10.
Lol, stupid Christians.
Before the story begins, is it such a sin,
for me to take what's mine, until the end of time
We were more than friends, before the story ends,
And I will take what's mine, create what
God would never design
Our love had been so strong for far too long,
I was weak with fear that
something would go wrong,
before the possibilities came true,
I took all possibility from you
Almost laughed myself to tears,(hahaha)
conjuring her deepest fears
(come here you fucking bitch)
Must have stabbed her fifty fucking times,
I can't believe it,
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes,
Eyes over easy, eat it eat it eat it
She was never this good in bed
even when she was sleepin'
now she's just so perfect I've
never been quite so fucking deep in
it goes on and on and on,
I can keep you lookin' young and preserved forever,
with a fountain to spray on your youth whenever
’Cause I really always knew that my little crime
would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
and I know, I know it's not your time
but bye, bye
and a word to the wise when the fire dies
you think it's over but it's just begun
baby don't cry
You had my heart, at least for the most part
’cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
let's make a new start
’cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
but baby don't cry
Now possibilities I'd never considered,
are occurring the likes of which I'd never heard,
Now an angry soul comes back from beyond the grave,
to repossess a body with which I'd misbehaved
Smiling right from ear to ear
Almost laughed herself to tears
Must have stabbed him fifty fucking times
I can't believe it
Ripped his heart out right before his eyes
Eyes over easy
Eat it eat it eat it
Now that it's done I realize the error of my ways
I must venture back to apologize from somewhere far beyond the grave
I gotta make up for what I've done
’Cause I was all up in a piece of heaven
while you burned in hell, no peace forever
’Cause I really always knew that my little crime
would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
and I know, I know it's not your time
but bye, bye
and a word to the wise when the fire dies
you think it's over but it's just begun
but baby don't cry
You had my heart, at least for the most part
’Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, We fell apart
Let’s make a new start
’Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry
I will suffer for so long
(What will you do, not long enough)
To make it up to you
(I pray to God that you do)
I'll do whatever you want me to do
(Well then I’ll grant you a chance)
And if it's not enough
(If it’s not enough, If it’s not enough)
If it's not enough
(Not enough)
Try again
(Try again)
And again
(And again)
Over and over again
(Over and over again)
We’re coming back, coming back
We’ll live forever, live forever
Let’s have a wedding, have a wedding
Let’s start the killing, start the killing
Do you take this man in death for the rest of your unnatural life?
(Yes, I do.)
Do you take this woman in death for the rest of your unnatural life?
(I do.)
I now pronounce you...
’Cause I really always knew that my little crime
would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
and I know, I know it's not your time
but bye, bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
you think it's over but it's just begun
but baby don't cry
You had my heart, at least for the most part
’Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
Let’s make a new start
’Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry
I'm not sure what to write. I got a lot going through my mind though, I just dont know how to put into words.
sdkljfslkdfjasd,klfjadsklfjdslkfsloitruw2490o5ruw304982304 df,.vcdmfjlrfskan
the end.
Wake up one morning you realize
Your life is one big compromise (compromise)
Stuck in the job you swore was only temporary (was only temporary)
Feel like the world is passing you by (do do do do do)
Never done all the things you would need to try
Stuck in one place, got a pain in your face from all your stressin’ out (all your stressin’ out)x2
You ask yourself there’s got to be more than what I’m living for (what I’m living for) x2
You ask yourself there’s got to be something else, something more, more, more
Well let the sun shine on your face
And don’t let your life go to waste
Now is the time, got to make up your mind
Let it shine on you, let it shine on you
Feel like there’s nothing nowhere to go
You try and fight but you can’t let go
Roll the pain, got so much to gain
Now is the time
You ask yourself there’s got to be something else, something more, more, more
Well let the sun shine on your face
And don’t let your life go to waste
Now is the time, got to make up your mind
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Let it shine on you, let it shine on you
You ask yourself there’s got to be more than what I’m living for (what I’m living for) x2
You ask yourself there’s got to be something else, something more, more, more
Well let the sun shine on your face
And don’t let your life go to waste
Now is the time, got to make up your mind
Let it shine on you, let it shine on you
Well let the sun shine on your face
And don’t let your life go to waste
Now is the time, got to make up your mind
Let it shine on you, let it shine on you
Well let the sun shine on your face
And don’t let your life go to waste
Now is the time, got to make up your mind
Let it shine on you, let it shine on you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=equvoqUT1VM&ob=av2e the education team would use this song to call cast B and get them ready for an education session.
We're the type of friends that don't need to fill the silence. ♥
http://femmefeminist.tumblr.com/post/1322049507/when-did-you-choose-to-be-straight-street
check it out. I love it! I asked Melanie that question and she told me she chose to honor God and give her life at 19. it really didnt answer my question. so i posted the link on the message.
long day. -.- I had my first customer apply for a credit card today. ^_^ Zms Amy helped me with it. xD It was kind of fun. then after I was free she came back with a notepad and a thing of hand sanitizer. yayy! I'm excited. :)
hope everyone else's day was good.
haha I've written in here everyday. ^_^ makes me feel acomplished. xD
Tonight we went into burger plus and both Britany and Becca were working tonight. Becca took our order and Britany made them, so she might've spit in them. -.- gross. anyway... we were talking and eating and every once in a while I would catch her watching us. She was staring. It made me laugh. :)
a good friend will tell you it'll be alrigt when someone broke your heart. A bestfriend will be standing there with a shovel saying "do you think this hole is deep enough?"
soo i love my best friends. ♥
I have today off! I don't have anything to do though. =\
I want to ride an ostrich. :) My up with people dance captain has ridden one before. :) I love ostriches.
happy coming out day ya'll! ♥
I hope each and every one of you had a good day. :) I did.
I saw Becca today and she didn't even look at me... guess britany has her hating me too. -.-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j4t185wl-0
love it. ^_^ it made me smile. :) hope it makes your night
Rachel Hansen October 9 at 8:03pm
I miss you. a lot. that's all I really wanted to tell you. :) I know you hate me and everything, but I just cant seem to let you go. Did you get my card from the other night? I hope you're well and everything. I saw you lastnight at work and you looked good. :) I miss you. that's all. I hope you have a good night.
I want to be friends with you again. Do you think we could try it again?
Brytnii Ahl October 10 at 2:43pm Report
Not a chance. Hahahahahahaha.
Rachel Hansen October 10 at 2:43pm
sad day. how come?
Brytnii Ahl October 10 at 2:45pm Report
Because I fuckin' said so.
Rachel Hansen October 10 at 2:46pm
:( sad. I'm sorry. for everything. just thought you should know.
Brytnii Ahl October 10 at 2:50pm Report
Mmmm, didn't Ashly tell you too just leave me alone? Listen too your friend. I'm not interested in having anything too do with you. I shouldn't have too explain myself too a girl who hasn't even grown up yet.
Rachel Hansen October 10 at 3:03pm
She probably did but I don't remember. =\ Oh honey, I've grown up but I still got more growing up to do. :) I'll get there soon enough. I promise you. You know, I don't see why you're so angry at me. I didn't do anything to you, but I'm done with you. I'll leave you alone and won't contact you again. I promise.
Have a lovely day. I miss you. alot and even though you hate me there's something inside of me that won't let you go.
She didn't respond after that.... =\ kadfsjdslkfjlaksdfjlkjsdfkdfsjladskfjo2iur4
I saw Britany and Jordan tonight and it took every muscle in my body to not walk over there and talk to them. >.< I miss her. a lot. saklfjdlaksfjldskjfldsakj
Today we went to the Saturday matinee and it was how to train your dragon. It was cute. ^_^
According to a national poll, 80% of Catholics do not think it is their place to judge an same-sex couples’ love or commitment to one another. (http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/11-facts-about-lgbtq-life-america)
I posted this(the above statement) and this (one in six hate crimes occur because of the victim'ssexual orientation. be the one to do something about it.) onto my facebook today.
I got a message from melanie today and this is what it says:
I am curious why a gay person feels like they have to come out and tell the world what their sexual orientation is, when a straight person never goes public to say I am a straight person. Just a thought to ponder. Have you ever met your biological dad?
what the hell am i supposed to say to that?!
Welcome MyBleedingReaction
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I found a bunch of crap tonight.
-my ipod cord.
-my mp3 player cord.
-my alarm clock.
-my class ring.
-my twilight dvd.
and I was looking for a notebook and didnt find it. :( oh well. I'm super happy that I found my ipod cord. yes! new music!
good day today. :) excellent day tomorrow cause i got it off. yes!
dinner with the cripes tomorrow night. eep. i'm kind of nervous.
melanie wants to meet up sometime soon and i told her i didnt know when.
I think out of all the movies that Britany and i watched together Fight club is one of my favorites. We had to watch it like three times together before we actually finished it but it was a good movie. ^_^ Inglorious basterds was a good movie too. I fell asleep the last part of it the first time we watched it though. I was tired, but i stayed up for the rest of it. slc punk was a good one too. we watched it the first time i tired pot. It tripped me out. :P Good luck chuck is probably the best out of all of the movies we watched. :)
it's gonna be a good wednesday! :) it's invatory day today. sadlfjldskjflasdkjfdslkjdf yuck!
I miss Britany. alot. I thought I was over her,and well I'm not... -_- Though I think I'm slowly getting over her... I'm not sure...
On another note, San diego is a month and ten days away!
It's been a good Tuesday.
I was on checkouts 3,4,5,6,7,8,and 12 today at work. I was the mover today!
I got to see Ariel over webcam tonight! She got to see me as well! That made my night.
If you really knew me, you'd know that I like both guys and girls. You'd also know that I struggle with my family and trying to tell them. You'd also know that everyday is a struggle for me. I live in a small town in South Dakota and well the people here aren't exactly lgbt friendly. =\ It's more of a christian town and if someone that doesn't fit to their "standards" will get shunned. You'd also know that I'm proud of who I am and I'm proud to say that I'm bisexual. :)
I'm quiet yes, but I am an observer. I also don't care what people think about me. :)
happy october first ya'll. I hope each and every one of you vrians have a good day.
I just updated my pictures on my profile. :) The top one in "additional pictures" was taken today. :)
My mother yelled at me because my work clothes were missing. She told me to go upstairs and look in my room, so I did. They weren't there. Ten minutes later, she told me they were in the dryer. -.- kldsjflkjroawieh,ldfsknjmadvslknldxdkldfsknldsfsnlndfs,ndfsdfs
On another note, I made a couple new friends. ^_^ They make me happy. (: definently.
COMMENTS
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