The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

15:28 Dec 31 2013
Times Read: 782

Happy birthday to me.

02:03 Dec 30 2013
Times Read: 789

After the second, the office will be open, and I can make the phone call. Then I can get a day off to go in and fill out the paperwork. It will be three weeks later, probably, but my friend Lisa said I still have plenty of time. "Just keep going." She said.



Even if I can't get it in in time, I will find another way. I don't know how, but I will. Because I have to.



Just keep going.

03:20 Dec 25 2013
Times Read: 802




It's Christmas Eve again. So many people in my life are gone. Dad, Mom, Grandma and Grandpa (both sets), My friend's younger sister, my grandparent's friends. People who were good to me, people who made me laugh, people who made me feel like I mattered.



This time of year makes me miss them so much more. Everyone celebrates with their families. I can't. They're either dead, or too far away, and the ones who are too far away would be too painful to be around anyway. They're too negative and/or cruel.



I still have people who care about me- my friends- but I don't get to see them or talk to them every day. I've been invited to go to a friend's house tomorrow, for which I'm grateful, but today is hard too. Everything is closing early "Merry Christmas!" everywhere, as if the whole world is saying, "Go be with your family today."



One of my friends is fond of saying, "Friends are the family you choose." I suppose it's true, up to a point, but it isn't the same. It just isn't. Still, I am glad to have the friends I do. I have no idea how I got so good at picking them, but they're there for me in ways my family never was.



I guess I'm still mourning the loss of what was and what could never be.

03:22 Dec 24 2013
Times Read: 809

I'm moving in a direction. I've taken the first step. Now I just need to take the next. Don't worry about what hasn't happened yet. Don't worry about what may not happen. Don't build obstacles to put in my own way. Just move one step at a time.

03:52 Dec 23 2013
Times Read: 815

I've been up and down lately. I've had some very bad days, but I'm starting to see a little hope.



Maybe things will get better.

10:26 Dec 05 2013
Times Read: 857

Woke early. Going back to bed.

01:57 Dec 02 2013
Times Read: 868

Oftentimes lately, I find myself sitting in my bath long after it's gone cold while I've been thinking about what you've said to me. And I wonder if I've lost my mind.