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I have been thinking a lot about time lately....the passage of it, how there never seems to be enough.



I lost someone that I loved very deeply a few years ago....see time again. I cannot even remember the exact year! It was less than 5 years I know that but was it 2 or 3 years ago?



This bothers me - a lot. He was such an important person in my life, we shared a lot. In many ways the relationship was one of the deepest that I have ever have.



He killed himself shortly after his birthday....now which was it. Was it his 42 or 43rd....gods this bothers me that I cannot remember. I have the funeral card in my car - but I still cannot bring myself to look at it....silly of me...



His family created a Facebook memorial page...but I still cannot bring myself to be added to the friends list for it. I don't know why.....someone else very very important to me is a member...I looked at the account under his name. There were tons of pictures...most of times that I remember and some of times long before we knew each other....the anger swells within me when I think of the utter waste.



They tell me that he killed himself because he saw no more hope in life.... He had been dating a woman that I did NOT approve of. She was evil... and I do not mean that she was a bitch or a just a bad person. This woman radiated pure, unadulterated evil. One of the very last words I ever said to him was "please.....please choose someone else...."



5 Years she kept him from me.....5 long years - see now I can remember that amount of time..... A lot happened, I bought a house, had my daughter...time marched on.



Not a day goes by where I do not miss him somehow or in someway... time heals all wounds, or so they tell me. I guess it does - through the erasure of details....

I am in a sad sort of mood.....not sure why. I had a great day....





*ponders*

COMMENTS

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Akeron
03:48 May 07 2011

I know the feeling.

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Theban
14:11 May 11 2011

I dislike sad....throws happy every where!

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