The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

-Just spent a few hours trying to locate the video for this song. You used to be able to click on an old playlist on YouTube and it would show hidden videos and where they went but you can't even do that anymore as things are disappearing without a trace. I've only found it on Vimeo now which was acquired by an Italian Tech Company (Bending Spoons). Exclusivity has power. But how much power? I often look at these figures here on the Who's Online page that lists anonymous user online vs. members that actually use the site. It's a staggering amount. But as much as we might be the real time performers on The Truman Show viewed by a bunch of voyeurs the fact is those who have advertising have to sit through such or pay to have them removed while they watch us. So it does generate business. But that doesn't pay for the business itself. Like disappearing video content this site could be swallowed up. Bandwidth costs money and content gets saved on servers somewhere and though the amount of storage is staggering it is still finite much like our brains. This taking advantage of the middle and lower income working class by corporate executives isn't something playing out here in the USA it's happening worldwide. I'm not much of an anarchist but all this fuckery is warranting such behavior from the masses to cause civil unrest worldwide.

-Learned a new word today: "schadenfruede-pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune". I think there's a lot of brains out there trained to release dopamine to their bodies' when it "perceives" this. Not just to their rivals and enemies but their friends and family too unless it goes too far then sympathy trumps it. Social media seems to propagate this behavior.

Just had someone outside my room having a loud domestic argument. I don't exactly live in a four star hotel here so such things may happen especially toward the end of the month when the drug addicts are looking for their fix and funds are at their lowest. But they were disturbing my peace so I had to get involved to remind them about respect. It seems to have worked...for now.

-I couldn't handle watching the state of our union address. It is obvious that where I get my news from is not the same as the majority. Who "funds" media and journalism? I found the most informative report on it by PBS. You literally have to support a charity to get the truth because the mainstream stuff is biased. How very democratic. The corruption will continue until some horrible universal atrocity brings change. Poor Al Green was escorted out. I remember in the movie: "The American President" starring Michael Douglas toward the end he states how being American has differences of opinion and voicing them is part of our identity. I agree with that sentiment. But the mainstream media coverage goes to support the real fake or biased news when the actual things are glossed over. Right now things aren't too bad and so for most we just tolerate the bullshit. The only thing I can do is through the occult and that has limitations. I don't have delusions of grandeur like many of my fellow occultists. Yes I have some power but its really not that much. Most of my magick and will is focused on understanding absolute truth. Knowing that limits you where others can express any delusion as their truth while the naive that don't know any better swallow it hook line and sinker.

-Been dealing with some backlash. It's not easy being an empath. I remember an old acquaintance of mine telling me how he dealt with the chaos he termed it with the trance of negation. He was a Zen Buddhist. I seem to favor understanding something as the best way of coping with it and when I don't have that just enduring it until it comes. It hasn't been easy and even now I still struggle like dealing with rapids while rafting. Sometimes I do actually find myself in a state of mind likened to the trance of negation but it's just a cycle I find myself in at brief intervals. When dealing with adverse opinions it always seems to reflect their ego. Almost no one especially those that had more favorable growth in their life in society that build bigger egos can conceive of the concept of fate that they don't have freewill. These are the people that did me the most harm in life. They are very proud and to most who are naive are looked to as leaders that just strokes it to inflate which they just eat up. Not to me. I think they need their heads shrunk one way or another.

Been continuing my visualization exercises. Especially my mark which is the easiest to hold in my mind. They are coming along. I'll probably complete the mark first then just keep renewing it's power while finishing the representation and crest last as its the most complex.

-Out of Finland performed live in Argentina here's Nightwish. Just broke in my new coffee maker. Beware! I'm now wired. Still working on future coven content. Then if Cancer approves it I can just copy and paste it all. The main thing is the graphics which need to come from my own imagination then art I personally create rather than just creating graphic arts on computer or AI like others do. My cybermancy needs more than others it seems. I've been in so many Houses/Covens/Mentorships on this site over the years and never was satisfied with them. Even the ones who I considered kindred didn't have what I was looking for. Oh as an empath I could relate to them on a deeper level but still felt this disconnect. It's probably because of the constant connection I have to a nature spirit. That is what makes us vampyre - we have this deeper connection to nature that others don't. We can tell who our kindred are. Oh there are those that seem to have much like wealth, families, and careers that gives them their ego and sense of class over others in society but they lack this connection we kindred have. There is just a handful of us on this site and probably not where the majority think. Most kindred I've met have issues because they've been exposed to brutality and abuse and kind of resemble fixer upper projects like this image. Oh they'll try to hide it but not from their fellow kindred. Some use us like we are talismans to add to their power. I suppose some use them right back if they have some prestige to the public eye to add to their glamour. That is definitely not me. I've always maintained a separation so I can maintain a centered sense of self. Where others are empathic picking up other people's shit and thinking it comes from them. That's what we who have served in the military call a clusterfuck. No thank you. I have a pure source already and don't need that. I'll just create my own. Its just a project that takes me a lot longer.

-Laundry day. I sure do miss living with my girlfriend on days like this. Well I got folding to do. So signing off for now.

-I like the sound of these lyrics in Hindi language out of India. Then got go look up what they're singing about and it's a great message. There's lots of music that's all in English and I still need to look up what they mean. *SMH* Bloodywood!?? Hmmm... that conjures all kinds of weird ideas.

If there is any physical aspect to represent a soul I'd have to go with the brain and nervous system. Been incorporating them into my composite symbol for the microcosmic aspect. Also have really been conceptualizing the dynamic of the void. Like in field dynamics of gravity or magnetism. All the mass of astral bodies with substance in close proximety has a field that extends out from them. It doesn't have a physical form within the void of empty space but something else with mass will be effected by how close they are in relation to their mass. This is close to how reincarnation works to my understanding but with polarities integrated. Not a fan of that word reincarnate as it implies there is a spiritual substance that physically moves to a different life but actually is more like field dynamics between lives traversing the void like gravity but in human life cycles rather than substance. Once we get an understanding of that and harness it as a technology like in the movie Event Horizon then we'll be able to to jump to other star systems with probes and once interesting things like resources and or life is found then have a face to face. Yes traversing those distances in linear form just wouldn't do. It has it's place to a certain degree like in context of local areas and land masses. Spirit to me is really about how our brains work with abstract things to conceptualize them. Which is why they have such profound and sublime energy to them compared to the physical. Like how symbols like runes have depth beyond the surface of stringing them together to convey meaning like words into sentences. Concepts like divine beings are really tied to physical brains throughout eternity all in one. Then you got people that just look at all the best parts like the the dichotomy between the kabbalah tree of life and Qlipphah. Isn't it like some to get greedy and take all the best stuff for themselves thinking they needn't pay attention to what actually constitutes life as a whole. My system uses the universal elemental form that traverses all aspects in cycles of nature. What makes me vampire is being attuned too such currents that all the death deacay and suffering as it's place in the grand scheme and is not to be disregarded for eternal life that some have "sold" to many. It is right for one to provide for their children but on the scale some of done this out of their own self important ego with blood magick but there is a price relative to the crime. Like so many that need to save face they'll have to be broken before they will be made to see.

It is ideas like these that are springing up as I've been working on my coven content. I was going to work on alliance as well but am going to wait and just establish a coven for my referrals. Trying to do everything at once is too daunting a task for me with all the...stuff I have to integrate already. The alliance will have to wait to establish later once I have the resources. I want to do vampyre magick in my coven not the stuff I've seen in other societies. Been eyeballing an amature airbrush to buy soon at local Art store to put money in my local economy. I've never used one before but think it would be better for my art.

Seems like we in the USA are getting a lot of hate thrown our way. I both love and hate it. All the shit I've suffered in this life is mostly a result of being hypersensitive dealing with the backlash of a hypersensitive Vietnam veteran and servant of the system they forged. Motherfuckers there will be a reckoning but until then I stand behind my nations leaders. You don't think they got all kinds of contingencies behind their decisions which they make with more information than the public has? Countries are dedollarizing so we need to diversify our financing. Wars never stop they just change form and is seen in the economic sector now. Yeah it puts pressure on our own citizens like the suffering to soldiers in combat. We here in the USA go down swinging as we are the melting pot of all nations and no other country has such diversity. We'll get our manufacturing capabilities back and that leverage others have will to change to a new form. Most of us will be wage slaves though working for mere pennies during a recession...oops pennies are obsolete now mere microtransactions on digital system then.

-Out of Ukraine I like this bands energy. Spent the entire day in meditation and visualization exercises. Time seems to be moving fast. I still feel the need to put more energy into them. It feels like when you're on a marathon run and you catch your second wind. I'm in a good mood today. I certainly appreciate it after what I've suffered.

So I made a comment in someone's journal yesterday. This is not something I do too often and when I do it tends to be profound. But they edited my comment out of their journal. Got to say I've experienced this behavior a lot on this site where people just want to see what they choose. I try to respect that but their actions have consequences. Some want the sweet lies and fantasy but they'll find it leads them to a place and state of mind that they'll wish they aren't in as a result. I believe in fate so it's not like I am going to get all offended about things. They'll either learn or continue down a corrupted line of decay until their spirit's are renewed in another life. Personally I don't want the lies and fantasy unless its for a catharsis. So reading a story or watching a movie or playing a video game are examples and because of the society I live in that represses parts of my nature they help my life become whole. I'm not here on this site playing a role in live action role play for a catharsis. There is truth to the vampire and we are attuned to a deeper reality that deals with the mystical. Beyond this I have found my fellow kindred in different levels of this attunement. They want more but are stuck and this is a prime example of why. I know perfectly well people are different and not all are in the same level of development. Everyone behaves the way they do for a reason and I didn't live through their life though I am an empath I can only relate with my own experience that enables me to conceptualize and process it. I do tend to process the information on a mystical level as a vampire as well as mundane experiences before awakening.

There is another individual (kindred) on this site that I got to know quite well outside it. They ghosted me and that's okay because they are vampire and it's a different relationship than what you have with the mundane people. You do have to be careful with a mundane's heart as they are not aware of the deeper things of reality. You can't break a bond you have with the vampire as they extend beyond death itself. It's like the void and it's dance with substance. Now there are times you may...forget but once you awaken no longer have that grace time though you may cling to it like life itself. The way many seem to navigate that is by lying. They just don't have the strength to face it. Well, at that time. Really it seems to be the same old reasons even as vampire they deceive others and themselves to maintain their image. Fake it till they make it isn't magick for growth.

I recently got into a discussion with my girlfriend about this Epstein Files debacle. She's a democrat. *face palm* I really don't fall into any category. Do I think these politicians and wealthy elites knew what was going on when they interacted with this wealthy person? No. Do I think they used their power to suppress their involvement with him? Yes. I don't like it but also know we as a country are competing with tyrants and communist governments that give them liberties we don't have in our government so I have to tolerate it. People do the same thing on different scales in their own lives to function. They'll use their power to manipulate what others see for their own self interest. I don't have to tolerate that for the greater good.

-Just leveled up the time spent part of base score. The watched kettle never boils but I do keep track to make sure I develop good habits so I get credit for my work with 100 hours each increment now. Now that I've sired its onto the next phase of creating my own society. All those other bonuses really don't mean much to me but referral points so that will be my focus now. So many aspects of this site has been like putting the horse before the cart so it has taken an eternity to get stuff going-a catch 22. Been doing visualization meditations for my alliance/coven crest, representation, and mark holding their purpose in mind to empower them. I don't really worry much about my fellow vampire empaths that pick up on my current as well as others on this site that use it for their posturing that is a literal clusterfuck on this site. It's like a never ending circus shit show like FFDP song. It's obvious I don't need to sweat it as we are on a whole different page our minds work differently. I strive to keep myself sanctified from those behavioral patterns others fall into to fit in on this site. There is safety and fellowship in fitting in with a mob mentality but too much and you end up stagnant. Understanding fate disillusioned my ego that others obviously don't perceive yet. It has been quite the trial on this site enduring all the corruption but I'm a wild natural vampire and see this site as a kind of wilderness preserve for us. The worst of it has been putting up with all the mundanes put in authority over us. I've seen so many kindred leave this site not being able to suffer it. It's like they use us as talismans to make themselves look good empowering their self image. I endure it as a price to pay to use the service as it says in the terms of service. It is a business after all and money does make the world go round even more so here on the world wide web.

Been in a contemplative mood lately probably a habit I get into from attuning to lunar cycle and get in them at the new moons. Been getting through VTM Bloodlines 2 for recreation.

So this album just fully released at the stroke of midnight yesterday. When it comes to any art involving vampires I give them some attention. It's pretty much at the core of who I am. Like now I have been playing VTM: Bloodlines 2 Deluxe edition which went on sale-no way was I going to pay $80 for it. It's not the kind of game I would have many playthroughs like it's predecessor VTM: Bloodlines 1 which became a cult classic. I'm in agreement with gamer critics that this second version shouldn't even be called a sequel and should have named it something else which only seems a marketing ploy to milk the popularity of the first. Anyway, yeah I'm still alive. I don't have much hunger or ambition for life but I'm not suicidal and make the best of what little I have. As far as my work on coven/alliance crest, representation and mark I have been empowering them into my imagination with it's purpose and once they reach a point of power I will draw , paint and digitize them then create a coven if Cancer allows it. One of the most important parts of the process in my magick. It is like the condensing of dew on plants at the crack of dawn-the first form out of chaos. I'm sure there are other real vampires and occultists out there that know what I mean. ;)

Am I evil because I think this video is funny? I'd think there are many dark souls that can laugh at things others can't because their souls aren't mature enough to perceive the humor in it. If you can't enjoy yourself on this site I don't think you should be here. Some people have told me they were Christians here on the Rave. I look at them with confusion wondering what the hell are they doing here then. Not that I believe that religion is true but if you believe the doctrine correctly then you will have a spiritual force guiding you and it would not lead you here. It is the mindset of a hierarchical dichotomy that creates the spiritual things people experience weather they are the Holy Spirit and angels or the repressed forces of demons. I'm sure in ancient Assyria where Pazuzu was respected as an evil force that causes pestilence were to watch this video they would find it offensive. From my vantage such beliefs are foolish. But can't you find humor in the foolish things you did in your youth funny later in life after maturing?

My issue has always been hypersensitivity and being an empath. So I can pick up on the things people hide. When an individual is too prideful and it determines their behavior on this site this is what has been hard for me to endure. Especially if they are in places of authority. By far this attitude is what ruins this site to me. I try to look at it as a price to pay. It's worth it to me though it can get trying at times knowing what people really think of you.

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AlvaWings
03:08 Feb 10 2026

Sorry, didn't watch the video (because I'm not sure I'll like the music & the thumbnail is not very inspiring...). Is it just about dark humor? I know that people online cringe when I make death-related jokes and very few people I know can tolerate that. I've come to VR exactly because I think my inclinations will not be frowned upon here. As for Christians coming to this place - do they even know that religion well enough? Youth these days loves shiny labels not always understanding what they mean.

Hypersensitivity is not an issue, but things can get overwhelming when you don't know what to do with all the information in overcrowded areas. I think I had a similar period in my life too when I stayed out of large crowds of people, now I can go shopping and be fine, but still dislike more turbulent places, such as flea markets... Over time you learn to focus your spiritual perception, much like a baby learns to focus and see separate objects as his eyes develop. It's just a stage and it will pass.

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Neowise2020
19:05 Feb 12 2026

Basically the video is a parody about the movie "The exorcist" and demonic possession. I personally have come to realize such beings are the product of repression and a mind able to use abstract thought as a tool can conceptualize sublime beings into one form that gives them that power. Like the holiness of a god that spoke everything into being. Certain cultures are the breeding ground for many spiritual and miraculous things that to those who don't know any better are influenced by. As far as my hypersensitivity goes it is understanding that allows me to cope. Sometimes my mind doesn't have clarity like other times as it comes in cycles for me.

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-Out of Belarus I can relate to this music in so many ways. Didn't do much today as the burning gets pretty intense at times and I meditate to let the energy dissipate naturally so I can function. Then I drifted off to sleep and had interesting dreams fighting undead skeleton warriors in melee combat. They just kept coming in the ruins I was exploring and weren't easy to defeat. But I took them all down...for a time and woke up refreshed. It was like how you feel after getting a good workout. I'm about to break out my compass a brass one made in Italy (Blick) to work on drafting a coven crest. A man can never have enough tools. Also got a book to help that has many illustrations of skeletons in different poses I want to incorporate into it. Later.

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AlvaWings
17:36 Feb 08 2026

Good luck with crest design! Can't wait to see what you come up with :3

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Neowise2020
21:34 Feb 08 2026

Thanks. It's not something easy for me and drawing it is just the draft then need to paint it on leather with florescent colors and some musou black to give it depth so it glows well in blacklight.

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-Out of Brazil I like the energy of this all female metal band. I wonder if their moon times all sync up. Well got all my bills paid for another month and that feels good. Nothing worse than owing somebody something to me. Also went grocery shopping which is an affair that I try to do strategically at times when no one else goes like at the crack of dawn to avoid the masses and the clusterf**k that causes. I always seem to get hit with Murphy's law though and some bullshit happens to make the experience hectic. This time it was a shortage of shopping carts. This was a time when there's hardly any customers so what the f**k happened to all their carts. *SMH* Whoever manages that store should be strung up by their tender parts on hooks. Then I finally just fill my own bags I keep in my field jacket pockets now since California passed laws about making plastic bags illegal. Those paper ones might work if you got a vehicle to offload them to but carrying them a couple miles in your arms makes for a pretty inconvenient experience. I specifically got rid of my truck living in a city to lower expenses and delegated vehicle duties to my girlfriend to manage but it's times like these I sure do miss my truck and motorcycle. So I go into the store lugging my own bags and see a bunch of carts being used by the stockers. That's what pallet jacks are for why the hell are their employees depriving the customers of shopping carts??! I was talking it up with security managed by an outside firm and he was talking about the number that the homeless steal. The stockers and cashiers had nothing to say. I called it it's poor management something I'm quite used to in life. Like so many in positions of authority they just pass the buck of responsibility somewhere else. The reason for the prestige and higher pay is the responsibility that falls on them. So many of them just get too uppity and lose sight of what's important; Work ethic.

I see another has gone through the precious vampire rave experience of induction. I'm not going through that shit again but now I'll have to contend with the parasites that just leech of of others without giving back like a proper lord does in their realm of influence as my coven will be for my own referrals. But without the element of risk it gets too boring-no risk no reward. Like I was addressing about responsibilities of those in authority it will be my duty to keep my society stocked with fresh meat and engaged to remain active members. I want to beat Cancer's score for referral points and not with the corrupt values so many use with alternate profiles and active members that just seem to lose sight of the virtue of things. Why am I so different than other so called vampires on this site?

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AlvaWings
13:04 Feb 07 2026

QUOTE:
"...So I go into the store lugging my own bags and see a bunch of carts being used by the stockers. That's what pallet jacks are for why the hell are their employees depriving the customers of shopping carts??!"

They do the same thing here, but luckily stealing is not tolerated (yet. The current gov. really wants to become "progressive"), so there are enough carts for everybody.

QUOTE:
"Why am I so different than other so called vampires on this site?"

I appreciate your presence here. Fairness is something a lot of people on here have to learn more about, or suffer from forceful rebalancing of energies once in a while.

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Neowise2020
14:37 Feb 07 2026

@AlvaWings hey I've donated charities to your country's war effort. Not a big fan of the shit Russia does. They really fucked up Kazakhstan but I guess it's not resource rich enough to fight a proxy war through. My occult sources informed me many of my problems on the internet are their doing through AI cyberwarfare so I've included them personally in my psychic vampire warfare. A mere drop in an ocean but every bit helps. Justice to me spans many incarnations contrary to those that believe they'll be worshipping a Jewish man for all eternity in heaven in their afterlife. Freewill is an illusion and favored by the ego which some really have an overabundance of that warps reality. What determines behavior is your DNA and the experiences throughout life that shape it. Nature can be quite beautiful but also terrifying to some and death is merciful not something you'd want to do away with. Yeah I understand the re-balancing you mention like the time a scale needs to oscillate before settling. Thanks for expressing your appreciation and encouragement. I like Kitrahs.

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Still using this set-up for my journal. Just looks the best in different platforms and layouts people use. The silver and white color scheme seems the most universal. The only one that really makes it look bad is the one with a white background like Bantam Brown which is why I give the best viewed in headline.

Well today got some much needed art supplies. Really going to put more effort into creating my coven graphics. This has been the main reason I haven't created one yet. To ground and empower them I prefer they be original from my imagination done by my own hand rather than graphic arts software. Also going to use leather as a medium so I can mount them on my coats to advertise as I hunt. I really have high standards on what I want and I'm out of practice so it hasn't been easy. Then I'll photograph them to create crests in creating coven for my referrals and alliance for members to join. Looked at different societies' today to make sure I can use the representation of my choosing and see some more have been lost. I keep hearing people complain about how dead this site is. Compared to the way it was when I first came in 2010 they are right. I was working 80 hour weeks as a foreman in cold steel industry then and though I loved the site just had too much on my plate to deal with what I was picking up as an empath. But I came back after taking an early retirement and been focusing on occult arts. Don't think its right to complain about inactivity on the site without doing my part to bring in the fresh meat.

Checked out Cancer's Way Universe site and it too seems a bit frozen with the latest postings stopping back in March of 2023. Hope this site survives the recession coming soon. It's the only one I see exclusively for the real vampire community.

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Cadrewolf2
09:03 Feb 04 2026

Hope it survives too

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AlvaWings
17:18 Feb 05 2026

If you need to digitize your traditional drawings, the best way is to use a scanner. I use an old and trusty Epson Perfection v200 Photo, but I believe they don't sell it anymore, so you could get a newer model - those are cheap.

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Neowise2020
18:18 Feb 05 2026

@AlavWings thanks I'll check some out. I got so many projects on hold its ridiculous. My elemental companion's presence makes me constantly burn in ecstasy so find the easiest of things hard to do. Takes considerable willpower as its just so easy to relax and enjoy it. I've been fighting it though.

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Neowise2020
19:14 Feb 05 2026

@Cadrewolf2 - Thanks for the support brother.

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