The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I wonder if anyone else here gets several messages a month asking for help on the site. I'm not talking about the ones with the fancy titles that they probably should be asking but simple me. Do any of you get them without invitation?? For example: I'm sitting here with the headphones on, music rocking, and playing hangman to earn a few favor. Then I see a message pop up. I'm thinking cool something interesting. I open up the message to find:



"HEY IM NEW AT THIS.... HOW DO I RIZE MY STATUS LEVEL???"



I must admit for a moment I was bumfuzzled.

How do these youngun's find me? Does everyone else get several of these type messages a week? Do I look nice and kind and knowledgeable? Oh hell don't answer that one I know it already.



Anyhow, I sent him a very long reply telling him briefly how the status system works and pointing out the links on the Main Menu and User Menu's. I also referred him to ImagesInWords article for whelps. Heck I send all of the ones who ask me anything to it.

Thank you Madam!



He sent me back a nice thank you and seemed to grasp the highlights of the system here.

I won't list his name because he's new and I remember how dumb I was when I started too.

I was just lucky enough to have a friend already on here to direct my silly questions to.



I have heard some of the houses/covens have people appointed to seek out and help whelps. I wonder if this could be considered as a position for the whole site. If so how does the whelps find them? Could there be a link to them like the request help. Or maybe the request help does that already? I'm not sure, guess I'd better take my know it all ass back to the VR Manual and see, hadn't I?



Edit: Okay according to the VR manual that what the acolyts do. It doesn't specify technical questions only so I guess they cover everything. But how heartless would it be to send a newbie that worked up the courage to ask off to someone else? Like swatting a fly. Nope sorry I can't be that mean on the average day. Hope they don't try it on a bad one though.

Okay I'm a confused about all the myspace stuff. It seems a lot of the people signing on lately all seem to want me to go to myspace to check out their profiles there instead of making one here. I don't do myspace and have no wish to do myspace. I'm on vr because I like the people here, I like the (usually) intelligent conversations and forums here. I don't know what is on my space but I've not heard that much good about it. But if you're going to all the effort of signing on here on VR why not say a few things about yourself or even that you need time to work on it and understand that about vr. But if all you do is tell me to go to myspace to check you out, then I won't be learning about you and my rating will reflect that disappointment.

I will not post back in the forum, I will not post back in the forum. I've spent the last hour repeating this like a mantra but I'm still a little irked about something so I'm going to try writing it here to get it off my mind. Hope it works cause I really don't want to fuss. Tammy has a thread asking Sires how long it took them to get there. It didn't ask for details on how or why just how long for curiousity sake. No big deal right, so a few answer and I did too since it took me 5 months. A lot of the responses were not from sires but others who were working to get there or had been one and fell back and were trying again. Just a simple question and some conversation about something that many of us here on vr participate in. To claim you are not competitive is very admirable but truthfully rare is the individual that isn't. I admit to making my status a competition with "Myself". Wow I am a terrible person that I don't have anything better to do than work toward a goal I set for myself. But back on point, along comes someone who posts that the only ones who do it quickly use the Prince's mark to do so. Okay I was already a 3 month member of vr and close to level 27 when I got my lifetime membership as a gift from my sister for x-mas & my birthday. She asked I answered with what I wanted, I didn't really think she'd do it but I'm not going to refuse it. :)

Thanks Sis. I noticed that nothing was said about the Mark of my House Master Jason nor any of the other marks by sires or master vamps. Wonder why that wasn't brought up by the person who doesn't have one? I worked damn hard for my House Master's mark and I'm very proud of it for it shows that I am a dedicated member who wants to participate in my house and in vr. Participate without trying to harm or downgrade others here. I just don't see why that should appeal but then I'm not a jerk. Oops guess I shouldn't have put it that way. :) You know the real kicker most of us that made sire early due to the marks have not left our houses or covens, instead our rank aids the very groups we support. It doesn't earn me anything I still have to earn my favor every week and if I quit participating I'm sure to hear from my house. If only to ask what's up? But then that's what happens when you care for others and they return that, too bad some people will never learn the importance of friendship in this world. My best friend reacted immediately and she sparks back but I've always been different I take my hurts and shut up with them. My experience has always been that when I try to strike back at someone either a person I didn't wish harm to gets hurt or I end up worse off and feeling foolish. Especially about something that really doesn't matter. It's not going to change tomorrow or affect my true life so let it go and move on. I will wait and hold my fights for the things that matter. So kiss my hiney and I'm done with this.

Another one has rolled around, today's my birthday and I just ran into a thread in the Sandbox about Life Mates. Odd timing since an aunt brought up just this morning that I'm still unmarried. Then the thread got me to thinking, I cannot say I believe in "true life mates" I do believe in people that work to make a relationship last a lifetime. If they do and are both still happy people you know they understand the meaning of compromise and caring for each other. Now I admit I know of those who have stayed together just because they enjoy making each other miserable. That's just sick to me. But predestined life mates, I just don't think exists. I think we are more likely to just look for the person who suits us and then decide to make it work. I know I didn't bring up the love stuff because when you're talking a lifetime together love is not nearly enough. "love" is a hot and fleeting emotion that if you're really lucky brought you to the one person you can settle on and want to do whatever it takes to keep. Love plays only a small role in that for almost everyone I know that's been married for several years or more would if honest admit that sometimes they don't feel "love" for their parter anymore. Comfortable and acceptable yes but they don't set the world on fire all the time, anymore those who can still make it work after that point are the ones who know the tricks.

Came across the quote on one that I just cannot follow anymore. "stay true to your leaders" I think it is them that should stay true to us instead. Since our leaders with the exception of the military and other semi-military type groups are mostly voted into office they made certain promises and agreements when they ran for office. So it is up to them to be true to the people who voted them into power. I agree that sometimes they need to use their best judgement even if it's against popular opinion but to do this repeatedly shows a complete lack of concern for their people. I have the biggest problem with these people being re-elected. Can anyone tell me why?

Yes it's petty, sophmoric, silly and all the other adjectives you want to throw at me but I'm still celebrating. I finally made it to 20,000 favor. I had set x-mas as my goal date but what with mom in the hospital for 4 days and me staying there with her I wasn't online to play any so didn't make it. Then I decided to try for my birthday which is Jan 18 and I beat it by almost a week. See I said it was silly but we all set goals for ourselves and this was one of mine, means nothing nor is it important to anyone but me but there you go, I'm happy about it. Well I guess my house is happy about it but there are others better than me there so it's not that big a deal to them. *no my feelings are not involved in that* I'm just sitting here in my chair, with my wrists killing me from driving through heavy rain most of the day and I just don't want to take a pain pill tonight. So hangman has brought me out of my doldrums and now I'm going to bed with a grin.

To claim this has been a harsh week is a real big understatement. I've had to take Mom to the doctor and then spend every spare minute arguing that I don't have any cigarettes nor am I going after them. *why the hell would I have them when I don't smoke!* She's been quit nearly a month and it's like living with a pissed off grizzly most of the time. Well only for my sister and I, since to everyone else she's acting like the big matyr, so mistreated by her daughters who won't let her smoke anymore. I just told her when she was healthy enough to walk and get the damn things she can smoke but she'd better learn to fill her own oxygen tank first. Yep, I'm a real bitch. To top that off I had to testify at a hearing before a federal judge, yipee! It's been a few years now since I did the federal court thing, been state courts mostly the last decade. I've testified in court probably 15-20 times in my life (from my job) but this one was a real pain. New trick they've got now is before they swear you in now the judge asked me if I had a religious objection to swearing on the bible. "I said No and took the oath" but in my mind I was sort of laughing, wondering what he's say if I had said what first struck me when he asked which was "Nope, I"m not a christian, anyway." Good thing I didn't or it'd probably been hours before they decided what to have me swear on before I got to leave there. Silly shit!

My best girlfriends are still vacationing and I miss them and then my sister gets me to take her and my 9 year old neice to a store called LibbyLou or some such shit. Word of warning folks if anyone asks you to do this, run like hell, break a leg or get admitted to the hospital quick. This is a store full of 5-14 year old girls all getting makeovers, hairdos and parties where they dress alike and get makeovers. It's full of glitter, pink and overpriced junk. My neice loved it and it's what she wanted instead of a birthday party, but I'm not sure it was worth it. Great way to end hell week for me.

I said goodbye to a old friend tonight. I really hate funeral parlors but sometimes you just have to go. Tonight was one of those times, a man I admired and enjoyed spending time with passed away. We had many wonderful conversations in the past and some good arguments too as our political and social ideals were polar opposites. But we still found common ground and part of that was a mutual respect for each other. He was a gentleman of the old type, a hard nosed businessman, politician, ex cop, father, husband and friend. I hugged his wife and son's and we talked about how much pain he'd gone through the past few months and all agreed he'd paid a high price for the rest he now enjoys. We were a couple of generations apart as he was in his 80's but that didn't stop us building a friendship where we enjoyed reminiscing about the good old days of law enforcement. I will miss you Bill, I am glad your pain is over and I hope you rest well and happy in your heaven.

You know I consider myself of average intelligence. There are a lot of forum threads that I will not even attempt to answer due to a lack of knowledge or a firm opinion about the topic. There are a lot of people here that I really wish would do the same thing. I see no reason for a posting that says something like I don't know, what are you talking about? That's just not needed, read the thread and then come back later and read it again when some more postings have been put on it, most of the time even I can figure it out by that point. I realize some folks do it just for the forum posts but honestly it's just not worth it to look like a moron. Okay I don't know why it's bugged me today perhaps the lack of interesting threads even in the sandbox it's all the same stuff. Now I have no room to complain as I've only started one thread in my time here. But as I joined this site unaware of most things I've learned here it has been better for me to read the knowledge of others rather than spout off with inane questions about things I need to research through the archives and member articles.

I have to ask myself was this the wrong approach? Should I have been posting lots of questions like others here are doing? I'm not particularily shy so it's nothing like that more I just really hate looking or sounding like a fool, I think.

Did you ever have a phrase get stuck in your mind and no amout of trying can remove it. I've tried tv, music and reading but these 2 words keep popping into my head. I heard them on tv earlier today and I'm going nuts now.

*Social Intercourse* Okay I know the meaning of this but what keeps popping into my head is getting caught with your significant other on the middle of a table with a party going on. I just can't seem to erase the conversations I'm imagining of those guests as they critique the nights entertainment. Ahhhh please make it stop!

Oh it's gone too far now. I was rating new profiles and I found the worst possible thing in a profile. I could not believe it but there it was in black and white. The guy had put math on it and not just any math but the fancy kind with X and it's value and O and it's value and after I picked myself up off the floor *laughter or shock take your pick* I gave him a fair rate then ran from there never to return as I'm terrified of MATH. Why was it ever invented, well sure we need it for business but other than that what good is it I ask. Okay it's used for navagation but still. It's Math! I'm going to have to have an aspirin and maybe some chocolate to recover from the scare of it all.



Now before you all think I'm joking think on this ACT test score for math (4) Nuff said.

Yesterday was a really crappy day and then I decided to try 5's again. I am terrible at this game and only have a few wins because I found someone worse than me. I think my loses are about the same as my wins. So anyway I click on the game and there's someone waiting at a table. He seems as inexperienced at it as I am so I take a spot. He'd apparently been there awhile as it took him forever to come to the table. When he finally does he makes what I took to be a joke about cheating. I answered that I couldn't play the game right there was no way I could do it wrong on purpose. His response was to laugh and then suggest we trade off throwing the games. Okay I was sure he had to be joking by now and my answer was that I'm too straightlaced for that sort of thing. He laughed and we played. I screwed up one move and saw it immediately but it was too late and he won in 13 moves. I said I was bad right!

Afterwards we both left the table, neither looking for a rematch. I headed back to hangman but as the night wore on I began to wonder if I had misunderstood and he was serious. I just don't know and since it's been bothering me I decided to write it down here and forget it. I see no reason to mention it to anyone as he hadn't played but 2 games before ours and so couldn't have been doing this previously which is why I really think he was joking. I just wish people would think before they say things like that, some of us are way too uptight to handle it well. lol

Do we ever gather anymore wisdom? We can learn things to increase our intelligence I think but with wisdom is it only what we are born with? If so I have fallen far short of what is needed to deal with some things everyday.



This just keeps running in my brain:

I belong to the shadows where I observe life yet do not live it. Where I can see and be seen yet not known.



I've got several candles burning, trying to lend support to friends that are hurting right now. The flames are being reflected back to me from a mirror and I feel as if I would like to climb into them. I see warmth and comfort there, isn't that strange because fire is at the top of my list of how I don't want to go. Yet the beauty of it is quite fascinating.



Part of me is dreading how fast this week is going for my best friends leave on vacation together at the end of it. They will be gone several days and while we can talk on the phone that doesn't work well for me as I dislike telephones and don't relate well on one. Thank goodness I'm not the same when writing or I'd be the quietest person on vr. May be close to that already. lol



I wish for just one day I could walk away from it all, from personal stuff and family obligations. I'd love to find a piece of shoreline somewhere and just sit and watch the water flow. Let it's power wash my heart and soul clean of all the debris that's currently thrown about there. But the way my life is right now it'd probably take a flash flood to move anything. Nice thought anyway.



Now that I've thrown some of this stuff out of my head maybe I can rest a bit. Not sure if sleep is the word as that's not been very good lately but to rest would be nice. To just turn off and be able to ignor everything.

I should be too old for this foolishness. Having my feelings hurt shouldn't be something I do anymore. It's a childishness I though I'd left long ago. If you had asked me yesterday I'd have laughed at the ideal but here it is that sick feeling in your stomach and burning behind the eyes from wanting to cry. I can't remember the last time this happened it was so long ago. It helps that I don't let many people close enough to touch me. Perhaps I've become lax in my defenses, a new batch of mortar and bricks are called for I think. For a while now I've worried that I was too far in the open and now it's proven true. With luck they will never know it and that's how I want it to be. I am good at keeping secrets, much better than anyone can even imagine. My mental shovel digs deep and I can bury things better than most, I think. Lots of construction metaphors today, guess I'm thinking of my father who was a builder. But he did teach me to mix and pour concrete when I was quite young and I remember how he talked of the mix having to be right or it would crumble. My mix has been off and it's time to fix that problem. The next person that tells me I'm hard and cold and unfeeling will earn a sincere Thanks, as I will be back to normal. Logic beats emotion any day when all you can feel is bad. I have actually practicied that most of my life. Funny that right before my birthday I should be reminded of the pattern I devised so long ago.



Strange, usually putting all my feelings into words releases them and I can move on but today I still feel hurt. I'll probably delete this later as it's a terrible way to start off the new year but it's just another sign of my life right now.

Happy New Years to one and all. If celebrating please use a designated driver and help everyone have a wonderful night.



I haved decided that I want to enjoy this eve in peace and quiet with a good book and a hot cocoa. I might even read a couple of books if the mood hits me. I want to relax and enjoy this holiday as both Thanksgiving and Christmas were full of work for me with guests and then my Mom being in the hospital right before X-mas. All in all I find myself tired and wanting to enjoy tonight. Most of the last 25 years I worked this night and as a police dispatcher it was always busy. Part of me really misses that but that's just the part that's addicted to the rush.