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And now....
22:51 May 30 2009
Times Read: 775

*rant ON*



People, really.....



I have been around this planet for damn near 47 years, and I have worked in bars, resturaunts, country clubs, hotels, and lounges to one degree or the other for 30 of those 47 years. I have seen it, heard it, MADE it, or experienced it in most ways that someone in the hospitality industry can do so.



I have issues.



I have been working at Westwood Plateau golf and country club for over a year now, and I have got to admit, Canadians never CEASE to amaze me with the way they conduct themselves at weddings.



I have seen weddings where the guests wore everything from a full length evening gown to something I would have worn to dig around in a garden.



Don't have a wedding where you hand out all those cute little tickets by the bushel, then come screaming at us when we turn in the bar bill. You picked it sugar- If you wanted to control costs, then ya should have stuck to your own rule of only two tickets per guest, instead of throwing them around like they were confetti.



Do NOT tell us that you want things a certain way, then show up at the bar, tell us we HAVE to do this or that because you are the by GAWD bride, groom or whatever- that kind of attitude will get you a very chilly reception, and warm blooded though we southerners may be, you come at me with that attitude, it will get REAL frosty, REAL quick...besides, if in the contract that YOU signed you said NO you didn't want this stuff to start with, chances are we don't HAVE it up here- we have to bring up supplies based on the specs we are given. A little late to change it halfway thorugh the reception, sugarfoot.



There is a reason why they call it LAST CALL. Don't wait until five minutes before we are due to close, and then bring 15 of your buddies up to the bar to get "one last round". I'll fucking laugh at your ass, and keep closing. You too lazy to get up and move when we SAY last call? Dammit, I hate it fer ya.



I understand the time honored tradition of clinking silverwar against the glass to get the couple to kiss. Really, I do. For variations, see previous entry. But people, REALLY. Do you have to bang on that poor wine glass like you are calling the hands to supper? SOMEBODY has to clean up all that broken glass before you cut your dumb ass on it.



I have seen bridesmaid be FIVE MINUTES into the reception room before they shuck their heels and are running around in flip flops and satin dresses. This to me just screams trashy, but what do I know, right? I'm just a southern gal who was raised to have more respect for people when you are at functions like weddings. You don't show up in white and stand up the bride, you wear nice clothes to weddings and funerals out of respect, and ya don't go hopping around in a dress suit and high tops. I mean really people....



But this woman just plain drew the line and fucking stepped all over it.



Last weekend, I worked a wedding upstairs with another bartender, and I was on B (slower) side. Which was fine because after back to back to back golf tournaments, I was due for a semi quiet night. The first guy up is talking shizzle about how he just bought a Lexus, all the bells and whistles, quotes a price to his buddy of an amount that would have mostly paid off all MY debts, gets his two glasses of expensive wine, pays for it, and leaves me not ONE RED CENT.



REALLY?????



Then, the head table, replete with the customary bride, groom, best man, maid of honor and assorted brides maids and groomsmen, is seated, and start to eat. Apparently one of the bridesmaids had her 2 year old daughter, who was also in the wedding, and refused to sit with grandma, she just HAD to sit with mom at the head table.



All this is good, until they are about 30 minutes into the meal....



I notice the woman standing up, and holding the girl, and figure she is heading off to do whatever.



BUT NO



she steps back behind her chair, still at the head table where other people are EATING, plops this youngun down on the floor behind the chair, and proceeds to CHANGE HER DIAPER.



On the floor

behind the table

where people are EATING.



I couldn't watch, so I left to go get something from the kitchen....



my bad.



cause when I came BACK, lo and behold, there is a diaper in my trash can, right near where I serve drinks, for GAWD'S sake....



And for all you moms out there who KNOW what I am talking about, it wasn't even rolled up and taped shut.



So I pick up the can, haul it outside to the dumpster, and get rid of it. And back to work I go.....



About 2 hours later, when everybody has eaten, and people are mingling around and dancing, I see this same woman, with same kidlet, BACK at the head table...



PLOP



kid is on the floor, and diaper is flying off at RECORD speed.



suffice it to say, I wasn't MOVING from my bar till I saw this bomb safely deposited ELSEWHERE.



Sure enough, this woman finishes what she is doing, turns the kid loose, and WALKS OVER TO THE BAR, hand outstretched like she is offering me the crown jewels.....



I just stood there, looking at her.



She looks at me, arm still outstretched, waiting like I am inconveniencing her in some way by refusing her offering.,...



After THIS Mexican standoff, she cocks her hip, puts the OTHER empty hand on said hip, still with this offering stretched to me, and says...



"It's a poopy one, can you DO something with this?"



*insert sarcastically raised eyebrow here*



are you SERIOUS?



I point to the other door at the OTHER side of the room, and inform her that the bathroom, complete with a changing station, is through that door and on the left.



This lady, and I use that term LOOSELY, has the UNMITIGATED GALL to glare at me, huff, and flounce off. And yes, for all you people who are about to argue with me FLOUNCE OFF is a legitimate southern term for any woman who is too big for her britches and has just been told no about something...just ask Cat, Rat, Birdy, Khayman, Lady Chordewa or any of the other myriad southern women around here. They'll learn ya...



She comes back in a few minutes later, glares at me some more, and goes on back to what is going on. After a while, it became obvious that my slow night was becoming stop, and I was told to close up and go home.



Suffice it to say, I not only packed everything up.......



I HID the trashcan.



*end rant*

oh my GAWD
21:01 May 28 2009
Times Read: 790






For those of you not familiar with my journal, or with me for that matter, I am a VERY outspoken redhead from Georgia, who is happily living and tenidng bar in British Columbia, Canada. I have been working at one of the top 8 golf and country clubs in North America for the past year, and every day it's something new.



Last weekend was no exception.



On Saturday, I worked a wedding where the bulk of the participants and the guests were Chinese. I had been told to expect something different, and they weren't kidding. As the bride, groom and wedding party walked, in it was to loud hip hop music, with everybody twitching and shimmying around, only to get them all seated, and have the MC announce that there would be a traditional Dragon dance shortly. A gentleman walked over, looked at me, and informed me that he was going to be setting up his drum and cymbals next to the bar, but he would only be ther for about 15 minutes, for the dragon dance, but that he wanted to warn me, it could get loud.



I looked him dead in the eye, and said "Sugar, I have worked, honky tonks, redneck bars, holes in the wall, and juke joints in the south......."



"You don't scare me in the least"



I don't think I have ever seen a man's eyes get so big around.....lol



And later, the MC announced that rather than using the time honored tradition of clinking silver ware against the wine glasses (this of course being invented by someone who obviously did NOT have to clean up the ensuing broken glass from over enthusiastic attnedees-i.e. the drunks who don't know their own strength) to get the bride and groom to kiss, they were going to try something new. At each table the guests would find small pink balloons.....



That's right people- instead of discreetly clinking glasses, we were to be treated to the raucous sounds of WHOOPIE CUSHIONS going off at regular intervals around a large room. Seems the groom got a great deal of hilarity at farting on people as he was growing up, and was one of the first things he did in front of his now wife, then girlfriend, to test out how accepting she was....



*sigh*



The evening pretty much escalated from there...



And I had a bar with tickets, and cash, but the groom's father had so many tickets that I gave out 326 drinks on tickets, and sold ONE beer. But at least some of them were generous.

FINALLY
23:32 May 01 2009
Times Read: 826

Well, folks, it is O-fficial....As of 12:45, I am now an hoest-to-GAWD permenant resident of CANADA. I finally fot my PR status, I am finally through with THAT pile of officious governemtn crap, and I no longer have to put up with the bullshit at the airport that I have been up till now.



Now...



I can officially flip them off, and if I can dodge the tasers, I can get away with it.



But the next asshole who thinks going through my lingerie and holding it up for everyone to ogle is cool....



Will be sorely mistaken about the validity of his ability to do so...in a very LOUD rebel mouth.



Thanks for listening...lol