The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Well as I am traveling, and using Khornesone's laptop to access the net, I do not have access to my pictures to put back up in my portfolio.

As soon as we get to the new base, get situated with housing and get our household stuff unpacked, I will get my portfolio back up and running.



Good luck to everyone on their portfolio rebuilding as well.

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LadyChordewa
03:12 Apr 01 2008

FOUR DAYS!!!! WHooo hoooo!!! Four days until you are in the same state as me.

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Close your eyes and place a finger gently against the lid and count slowly to 45.



Does not feel to bad right?

That is what it feels like when they cut the ocular flap of your eye to expose the cornea beneath it.



45 seconds is how long it takes until your world looses all color. All the yellows, blues, greens, reds, pinks, all color. You are left with shades of gray.



When the ocular flap is peeled back your vision is gone for a matter of seconds, and it goes quickly. All you have is blackness and you know your eyes are open but you see nothing.



Then the color comes slightly back in smudgy halos of effect.



"Focus on the red light, don't blink" and a slight tapping at the side of my head beside my eye that is being operated on. "Don't blink, focus."

"45"

"30"

"Don't blink, I need you to focus on the light."

"15"

"5"

"Okay the laser is done."



Seeing a paintbrush with the ocular bandage brushing against my eye was not so bad as what happened before.



The doctor had warned me that the scariest part of the whole procedure was going to be the cutting of the ocular lens. I agree. Even with a warning I started to panic.



I had also been warned that the first eye was always the easiest; the second eye would always be the one that gives trouble. So it starts over only on the left eye. Same comments made only with a few new ones. “Focus, open your right eye and don’t blink please.” And “Your rolling your eye into your head, don’t do that. The longer you can focus on the red light the better your vision will be when we are done.”



I tried; I tried really hard not to roll my eye into the back of my head. Thankfully any time that you blink or move out of position the laser stops and does not restart until you are back in the correct position once more.



Once the procedure is done they checked the ocular flaps to make sure they have been placed back correctly. The left eye had a problem but easily fixed. Just had to take this special instrument and smooth the flap back down and get it to release all the liquid tears it had captured and trapped under it.



Got told to go home and take a 3 hour nap, no problem, I was emotionally and mentally stressed enough to accomplish that. Then my eyes started to burn on the way home, thank goodness I had them closed. I have my house memorized so once I was inside I knew where I was with even my eyes close and practically ran up to my room.



This was all the 12th of March 2008. Today, the 13th, I went in for my follow up and I have showed an above average recovery and adjustment to the procedure. I tested my vision at 20/15 and I go back in on the 20th for another check.



Oh I almost forgot to mention, the smell of ocular tissue burning, it lingers for a few hours in your senses.

COMMENTS

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Vlkodlak
21:47 Mar 13 2008

HOW .. do you NOT blink?

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LadyChordewa
03:59 Mar 14 2008

Part of me is glad I do have Cataracts...then they can't do this to me LOL

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RedQueen
06:57 Mar 14 2008

You don't blink because they TAPE your eyelids open...been there, done that...and I agree- the WORST part was the smell...



The second worst was hearing my doctor state that he was racing his partner for most surgeries done in a week....



And the third was having it done in an EIGHTEEN WHEELER



I shit you not.....

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So here is what I decided that KO, the kids and I are giving to our parents for Mother's/Father's day.



I had them made especially for me by a local artist in the Baltimore area

Ode to the moonflower Goddess of love.





What bittersweet tears I cry when her smile falls not on me.

What agony I suffer when her smile is upside down.

What torment does my soul doth suffer when in sickness she does feel like horking.

What despair I feel when I can not light up her lips with her exquisite smile of radiant beauty.



Hark it is the Moonflower and doth the sun pale in comparison to her vivacious beauty?

I say yes. Yes it does.

It withers and begs forgiveness for such utter failings in comparison to her.



A single kiss could launch ships for her.

Men, ahem and woman, would go to war for her!

Terry not in this miserable poets words for the Moonflower Goddess of Love calleth to me.

My soul sings unto her and her Wondrous lover Sapphire of the Night!



Twinkling within stars held with in a pool of light, giving forth the silvered light.

Moonflower Moonflower, smile for me!

Today is my Birthday.

Today I can proudly say that I am 34 years old.

Why proudly? Well that is simple.

I choose to celebrate my life, and all the days of it.

Some days are harder then others, and some are not so hard.

I have friends, family and loved ones that I cherish and value.

I have children that drive me crazy, but I would not trade them for the world. Matter of fact I have fought for them tooth and nail.

I have a wonderful loving husband, who appreciates me for who and what I am and I am thankful for that.



Why do I choose to celebrate life?

Because some hand full of years ago I didn't.

I didn't value my life at all or those around me.

I was in a deep depression and thought the only way to make it better, for everyone in my life, was to not be here in it.

To not waist their time on someone as insignificant as me.



I was given the opportunity to change that feeling.

To learn to look at life in a new way.

To take the good with the bad and learn to deal with it, to understand it and to learn from it.

To learn to love it again, to cherish it and to appreciate being part of it.



I choose life and all the little up's and down's it tosses my way.

I am loved.

I am valued.

I belong.



So I proudly say, Happy 34th Birthday to me!

COMMENTS

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queenmorbid
15:45 Mar 03 2008

Happy Birthday Silverbow! And you should be proud. With age comes true beauty and wisdom. You have both.

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Sinora
15:58 Mar 03 2008

Happy birthday...*luckily they cannot hear me sing* lol

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SeleneTremere
16:27 Mar 03 2008

Happy Birthday to you sweety! There's much too celebrate for this one and so much to look forward to with the ones to come. I hope you enjoy your day.

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LadyChordewa
05:16 Mar 04 2008

I love you sis. Totally respect the person you are and how you are raising your children. I see strength in you, but not bitterness. *hugs*

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BubbleGumClaudia
13:38 Mar 07 2008

AWW Shit I Was Too Busy Reading My Trashy Romance Novels To Wish You A Happy Birthday!!



*Gets Down On Her Knees*



Happy Belated Birthday!!

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I wish that I could help Chris out but I can't.

It breaks my heart that this is happening to him.

The woman he has been dating for the past month, who just commited to a relationship with him after 6 months of being friends... Has been sent back to Manila by her Father.



She won't tell Chris what is wrong, and she is enrolled in school here. She had just left her job to commit to being a full time student to get a degree here in the states.



He is in agony and his son is upset as well. Chris had just felt comfortable enough to let her meet his son and this happens.



I asked if she could not come back on a student visa and he said she could. But something her Father has said or done that will keep her from returning to the states.



Chris thinks, from talking to her for what little he could, that her father is up to something. This is a sudden thing that is happening, no warning. I know that Her father was upset when she sold her house and quit her job. That he would not talk to her for a week but to suddenly decide he is retiring back to Manila and that she has to accompany him...



Granted I know nothing about their culture or the way they do things, but still.. She had a life here and was finnaly persuing her medical degree.. This is crazy.



My heart goes out to you my dear friend.