The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

A gay man named Roger goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Roger, I am not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS." Roger is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"



The doctor says "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of All Bran cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice." Roger asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"



"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your as*hole is for."

A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to burn some rubber.



When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him, "What happened to the other five condoms?"



His nervous reply was, "Er, I masturbated with them."



Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him the story, and then asked him, "Have you ever done that?"



"Yeah, once or twice," he told her.



"You mean you?ve actually masturbated with a condom before?" she asked.



"Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I?d ever lied to my girlfriend."