When the night descends my thoughts go running again. Tripping and jumping with scissors and razor blades laughing at the danger. They slink through the rundown maze my mind inhabits, cutting through the secret corners I've hidden to reveal the heart crushing moments I wish I could forget, that one perfect kiss and then the shattering goodbye at the end, that perfect summer day that quickly turned into the terrifying thunderstorm that left me screaming and vulnerable for all the world to see.
When night descends my demons no longer hide. They frolic as they wreak destruction upon my most inner insecurities. They remind my heart of all its flaws and imperfections and laugh as they say they understand why I am alone. Who could love this damaged and broken shell of a person? Who would want such trash? They shove the goodbyes of the ones I desperately loved down my throat until I puke the putrid hate and loathing. They taunt me until I give in. They are right. Who would want to love someone who cannot even love themselves? Who could love such a despicable being that has had all their humanity stripped away? Who would fall in love with a person who is so ugly inside and out?
I scream as I pray for the veil of the day. Pray for the sunlight to make them retreat if only for a little bit. They giggle as they force me to keep living because of course I deserve this pain. To end it would just be selfish. I deserve to pay for every little piece of shit thing I have ever done.
The demons are back. Back in my head. I can feel them under my skin trying desperately to claw their way to the surface. Tearing, ripping, shredding what I've worked so hard to fix. I can smell their putrid. breath as I try to hold them back. I hear their laughs, their taunts, trying to drag me back to their dark sulfuric world of nightmares and monsters. No excorsism can rid me of them. No amount of holy water or prayers can save me from their talons. I was a fool to believe I had defeated them. They have always been under the surface lurking and waiting for the perfect time to pounce and petrify me once again. I struggle, I fight but I'm slowly losing ground.I can feel their shivers of pleasures their whispers of satisfaction. I can taste their anticipation of reaping another lost soul. Winning another dark battle. This is their favorite game. Find the naive one. Tear their innocence away bit by bit. Shred it until you are left with the juicy raw center, yours for devouring. No one cares about the little girl with haunted eyes. No one will hear her silent screams of fear and agony. The demons are so excited as they see the hope drain out of their victims eyes. They hold their breath and smile as everyone turns away from the disturbed teenager, the lost cause, the damaged goods. Then when their fear is palpable that is the perfect time to take them. to taste their bloody tears as they cry from their wrist. No one ever sees how easy it is. The demons have won once again and they rejoice in their victory
COMMENTS
You write well, I like that.
Everyone has their Demons my sweet, i know i have mine
this is well written....from the heart
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