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Finally, I dont feel like chewing through someone's artery today. In fact, I feel fuckin fantastic. I credit my spirit guides for helping me tame my hungry side, at least for now. Never know what tomorrow will bring with it though.

Feels like someone put my head in a trash compacter and ran it full on. Hiding under layers of fuckin quilts with blacked out sunglasses on to stop the incessant morning light, it makes my eyes feel like they are boiling. What the hell happened when I was asleep?

Well, that when about as expected. sat in training for five hours trying to concentrate on what the fuck their babbling about while trying to drown out the infernal rythm their pulses beat out on my eardrums. I'm never safe from it. And don't get me started on the smells. Makes me wish my sense of smell was still dead. I've resorted to stuffing chilli peppers up my nose to stifle that sick sweet scent. I'm losing this battle and bit by bit, myself along with it. To those that read this, I need guidance. I dont have the strenght to fight it much longer.

I'm starting training for a new job today and it could not happen at a worse time. I've been working my crystals over-time just to draw enough energy to stay sane. I hope I can work a powerful enough ward to keep the bloodlust at bay, I can't go having a breakdown like last time. i hate this, donors are scarce around here and I can't be open myself because the bible thumpers around here would have a field day. This really sucks, no pun intended.

It refuses to go away. I've been able to fend it off with 3x my normal energy absorbsion but it comes back stronger each time. blood is what I really need, but I refuse to give in to the hunger. I may not last to much longer.

I'm so HUNGRY! I cant stave t off much longer. I dont know what to do. i'm worried i might hurt someone. I can hear peoples pulses pounding against my ears when i'm around them. animal blood isn't going to cut it this time,.....HELP ME............