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The summary of 2007



Personal



-Friends made - 12

-Friends lost - 3

-Pets gained - 4

-Pets lost - 4

-Skills learned - 3

-Injuries - 3

-Jobs - 2

-Santa Pod meets - 2

-DVD's bought - 42



VR related



-Societies a member of - 3

-Profile designs - 4

-Friends made - 9

Blocked right now - 1 - this is an extreme circumstance!



Goals in 2008



-Start wrestling again (will be end of Jan)

-Make my public debut as Ravyn Steele

-Recruit enough females members to host a Royal Rumble (aka perv-fest)

-Buy a new car - well, new to me. 1997 or above

-Get a 30/32" waist - no point looking at dress sizes as my arms are muscly and my boobs are too big lol

Wean myself off chocolate - specifically Curly-Wurlys

Learn to control my anger

Don't get into a rage at the least little thing that happens on VR

Clear rent arrears

Don't get made homeless

Get Moorcroft off my back

Go to the Discworld Convention



That's about it that I can think of. All in all 2007 has been a bit of a crap year, filled with debts, stress and tears. I'm glad to see the back of it!

Year nearly over...Off to the doctors in a minute to see about 'it'...it's been almost 2 months since I had one and even though I've had negative tests, something must be up for it not to show...Also need to get more citalopram and sort out this possible sciatica, and get the all-clear for the wrestling. Dr Chadwick is gonna hate me!



*update* Just got back, plus Rx for Citalopram, and the docs assurance that the no-show thing is normal because i've been on the pill for so long, and the sciatica thing will benefit from exercise. She's not sure how much good the wrestling will do it, but I told her, it strengthens my back muscles and really does help. I have a good stock of Ibuprofen, Naproxen and a couple other NSAIDs in case of flare-ups.



So I'm good to go! Watch out north wales ladies wrestlers (all 3 of ya!), Ravyn Steele is coming!

Just taking a break. I'm taking a crash course in php/javascript and my brain is starting to fry.



I've had an idea for a non-commercial website which will involve php and JS, and because i'm fiercely independent in all things codely (I won't let anyone else do any coding or graphics for me, preferring to find out how to do them myself), I won't go sign up with a generator or ask someone else to help me. I admit I did fleetingly think of asking Cancer for tips, seeing as he coded the whole of VR himself, but then I thought of how i'd feel if I ended up in his journal along with all the idiots he seems to get plagued by...it's not worth it!



Besides, JS and php are things i've been wanting to learn for ages now, but when I tried getting the hang of them in Uni they just wouldn't sink in. Now, i've found a great tutorial, i'm making notes, and i'm actually understanding it! I'm aiming to be as proficient in php and js as I am in html and css. Then, all i'll have to master is Flash, and i'll be unstoppable! *insert evil laughter here*



The hard part is rememebring all the rules and syntax. Where to use a full stop, or a $, or a = =...Then again, I had that trouble with css at first, I couldn't remember where to use a {, a : or ;, and the different classes. Now, it's second nature. I'm hoping php will be too.



But enough rambling. Back to it!

Hoping to go to this in August - Birmingham Discworld Convention. Will cost Gav and I £55 for the membership (each) and we'll be staying in the Birmingham Formule 1 hotel (£100 for 4 nights) about 20 mins away. I think a couple of my workmates are wanting to come too. Should be fun.



Gav hasn't read the DW books, but he's watched Soul Music, Wyrd Sisters and Hogfather, and I said i'd get him the audio books as he's dyslexic and has trouble following text sometimes. Besides, it'll be good hearing Tony Robinson's interpretation of the books. He's got a great voice, and did well in the games.



I'm really looking forward to the convention. Even if we do manage to get married this year, we can still go as a sort of honeymoon. Chris at work said I remind him of Death's grandaughter Susan Sto Helit, so that's who i'd probably dress up as. Either her or Angua Von Uberwald. Lacrimosa would be an obvious choice, being a vampire, but not only is that too cliché, I don't actually like Laccy's character all that much. Magrat could be fun, I can do flaky-witch pretty well...

Finally, xmas 2007 is over. I've been dreading it for the last 2 or 3 months. Fortunately, it didn't go as bad as I thought it would, but i'm still glad it's over. Gav and I said we wouldn't be buying each other presents this year as we couldn't really afford it. We got a pressure cooker from his nan, and some random booze giftsets from his mother who assumes we're alcoholics like she is.



Now i've just gotta get my birthday outta the way and then I can put 2007 behind me altogether. All in all, it's really been a crap year.



Not expecting much for my birthday, Gav'll be skint just like I am - I don't get paid till the day after - so we can't even go out for a meal. So i've said as long as I get breakfast in bed i'll be happy. Provided we can afford the breakfast items...



I really have to be careful not to upset Gav. I know he's a bit upset about not being able to buy me any presents this year, and yeah, it's disappointing, but it's not his fault. His work has been screwing him around and not giving him any hours, and therefore, no wages. It's kinda left us very short. I had to get a bloody loan out just to buy presents for people!



I just hope that 2008 will be a better year. We may not be getting married in the june like we'd hoped, because money is just too tight. Unless his compenastion claim comes through we'll have to put it off until 2009. But that's ok, it'll give us the year to get ourselves sorted financially. We couldn't do anything in 2007 because for a major part of it I was the only one working and all my wages were going on bills. Now i've got this new job and great bonus ops, we can start living instead of just existing.



We're hoping to buy a bigger car with my first bonus in april. I want an estate car and gav's planning on modifying the cavalier into a doorslammer to race at Pod.



This all assumes that we won't be made homeless in 2008, which at the moment is a very real possibility...

Yay I have photoshop again! Life is (almost) good once more.



Ok, maybe I rely a little too much on graphics programs, but the fact is that web and graphic design is escapism for me. There's things going on right now in RL that I'd rather not think about too much, so playing with images keeps me from going off the deep end at the least little thing. I mean, look at what happened when that thread of mine got deleted!



But I think this christmas I'm gonna try my damndest to put aside the whole body problem and the flat problem and where we're gonna go if the worst happens and stuff, and just try to concentrate on strengthening the relationship I have with Gav. I know I've been a complete bitch lately because my hormones are in complete turmoil, but I shouldn't have taken it out on him. I'm surprised he's still with me to be honest!



I think the night out that me and Sam had last night helped. Even though my neck is killing me because I hadn't headbanged in ages till last night, I do feel better for it. And the friendship between Sam and I seems to be getting stronger. Which is good because she's really the only female I actually trust around here (meaning my hometown, not VR).



I really need to get to the doctor again on monday, I'm pretty sure they'll be open xmas eve. I've completely run out of (actually, I lost) my citalopram and I don't think that coming off them so suddenly has helped my mood swings. Perhaps I would have coped better with the other crap if I'd had them.

Yes I was in a pissy mood this morning. I had a good reason. I just wish I knew a good reason why I've been like this the last 2 weeks.



I think I need to get another prescription.

I've got a few graphics to do, i'm really in the mood for tinkering with tools - editing tools of course - and i've gotta re-install photoshop cos my piggin trial version has run out! Dammit...



Oh well, i'm amusing myself by singing along to the Grease 2 soundtrack...

Two weeks now.



Still no sign.



Can I get my hopes up again?

I hate going to my parents. I always come away feeling crappier about myself than I normally do. Why does my mother feel the need to put me down and make me feel worthless? I reckon it's got something to do with her having been a bully at school. I may do research into that: whether schoolyard bullies become bullying adults. Because thats what she does, although she doesn't realise it. I've tried telling her how hurtful she can be sometimes, and she just throws a strop and says i'm too sensitive. But growing up with that, is it any wonder? She even ad the cheek to criticise Gav over the dinner; she'd asked him to check if the duck was cooked (him being a chef and her never having cooked duck before). He checked, said he thought it could do with a bit longer, but she said 'oh but the juices are clear, it must be ok'. So rather than argue with her - the woman thinks she's always right - Gav just said ok, and left it alone. She then turns round about a half hour later - she'd left the duck to stand for a bit - and said 'go back the chef school, that uck wasn't done'. I felt like walloping her! She was the one who decided it was done, then blames Gav because he didn't want to get into a futile argument with her...



I've told Gav that if we have kids and I get like this with them, to file for custody and divorce. Or shoot me, it's cheaper...

Negative.





Probably for the best.





Couldn't help gettting my hopes up though. Oh well.

One and a half weeks....

Well, there seems to have been no permanent damage from the fire the other night. The woman that started it is an ex-mental patient who got carried out of here 8 months ago kicking and screaming strapped to a stretcher (alliteration alert!). I'm surprised the council let her back. But if they let her back after this, i'm really gonna kick up a fuss. I mean, luckily the fire was just contained in her kitchen, but if the gas pipes had caught on fire, we could all have had problems. She'd no right to put us all in danger like that, so i'm gonna get up a petition against her if needs be.

I put on a good face, making a tree for the coven, a nice seasonal profile and stuff, but the truth is...



I hate christmas!



Well, I will this year.



We can't afford to buy all the presents we'd like, Gav may be losing his job because of crappy staff cutbacks, I won't get paid till the 31st, and I won't be able to afford to buy my mother a birthday present on the 29th, or even go and see her for our birthdays (mine is the 30th). It's her 60th this year too, and I feel so shitty for not being able to do anything for her.



And I know she'll berate me for not going. She'll pull the whole guilt trip on me just like she did when I said we wouldn't be going there for christmas day. And I can't even tell her about the money troubles because she then thinks i'm hinting at a loan.



Then there's the other thing that we may be facing next year which certainly doesn't put me in the festive spirit, so all in all, I just want christmas to be over. The only good thing about this whole time is the fact i'm getting 9 days off work. Which isn't a major factor because I do actually like this job.



Roll on the 31st December.