The Real Zombie23:50 May 08 2012
Times Read: 632
A lot of People wonder why I use the username "Zombie" whenever I sign up for a new internet membership. That is an easy question to answer. The reason is because I feel like a zombie on the inside. I don't mean that I stumble around, moaning, and lusting for brains. What I mean by that is 10 years ago, I've made some mistakes in my life that have caused me to get locked up, and because of that, my so-called "family" wants nothing to do with me. So, I moved down to southern Minnesota alone (in every definition of the word). The only member of my immediate family who treated me like family, my dad, died almost 2 years ago. With his death, I consider the rest of my immediate family to be dead as well. I still occasionally talk to them, I just don't feel any love from them. I haven't been in the relationship scene for a while because whenever I start to like a woman and I tell her about my criminal past, I never hear from her again. I have difficulty trusting anybody. People never give me a chance before judging me based on my past mistakes, whether they be dates, employers, strangers, or any of the like. The reason that I say that I feel like a zombie is because I feel like I'm dead on the inside, my body just doesn't know it yet, so it just keeps trudging on endlessly with its natural instincts and behaviors. I am not living, I'm existing. There is a significant difference between the two. I just found it easier to convince myself that there is nobody out there for me and that "love" doesn't exist. I've been alone for a while now, and I've grown accustomed to it. Not to say that I don't want marriage and kids (the American dream, as I see it), I do want a wife and a large family, I just don't see it happening anytime soon. I just thought that I would let you people know a little more about me. Thanks.
COMMENTS
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QueenZombie
00:37 May 09 2012
Well Zombie welcome to the club of Living Dead lol I feel like zombie all my life..
MirrorOfTheSoul
01:01 May 31 2012
we all have skulls in our wardrobe
SurvivalistPagan83
18:40 Jul 01 2012
I know the feeling as it wasn't long ago I was in the same position. I have a very good friend who tried very hard to reawakwen me recently and showed me enough determination and kindness that I let him succeed. I hope one day you, too will find such a friend :)
VampireGoddess666
09:40 Aug 11 2012
An I am sure someone will not be afraid to let you close to them. So, you both can be happy.
I also know how you feel about how people treat you. I am so weird and different from most. An the things I have done as well...that they treat me the same way that everyone else and family has treated you.
Things will get better and you will have a wife and big family like you want.
Darkblue
07:22 Sep 14 2012