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Oh man, I just noticed my 19 year batty, as of April 8th. Nearly two decades here. Time has really flown by.

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CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
20:39 Apr 29 2025

I know that feeling! I got my 19 yr batty on Dec 15th! Crazy to think about it honestly. In some ways it feels like it's been forever and in others it kinda feels like it has flown by.

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There's a very high chance of rain in Irwindale this weekend. And while I do so love working Faire when the temps are in the high 50's/low 60's, after last year, I'm less eager to work in the rain again. It's very unpleasent. So, while I do hope for a day where it doesn't get hotter than 59 degrees, I'm hoping for nothing more than a very light sprinkle during the day. But, I suppose all I can do is wait and see what actually happens tomorrow. It's my favorite themed weekend, RennCon, which means all the Star Wars characters, all the Trekkies and the Doctors. One woman has a Tardis ballgown and I've seen her for the last handful of years now, I love it.

Oh man, Faire has been rough this season, and we're only three weekends down. The remaining four... I'm not super looking forward to it. But, all that said, I do enjoy working it. I got some trinkets last weekend that I gave out, and I got a few lovely things in return. I'm still not quite sure if I'll buy more for the remaining weekends to give out, but even if I don't, I enjoyed making people smile with a little gift.

I bought myself a complete set of The Hunger Games Series. I've read the original trilogy before and loved it, so now I have the two prequels to get through. I have heard a lot of good things about the most recent one that released. So, I'm looking forward to getting those in the mail. It's hard to get into reading again, but I figure starting with a series I know and love is as good a place as any. I wanted to reread the Harry Potter series, but with as horrible a person as Rowling has turned out to be, it's very hard for me to read her words and not think about her actions towards the trans and LGBT+ community. So, maybe one day, but definitely not anytime soon.

Do you ever just get tired of people and their psudo-intellectualism? It's tiresome, having to wade through the bullshit. I don't know which one is worse, honestly, the psudo-intellectual nonsense or the outright willful ignorance.

I've finally hit that point where I no longer want to interact with people anymore. Alll I need is my family and Logan. When we move, wherever that may be, I think I'll fully embrace hermit life.

I may or may not have gone down a rabbit hole this morning looking at what countries listed therapists as in-demand jobs for immigrants. Outside of New Zealand, which Logan said he'd like to go, there's Canada, Ireland, Australia, the UK, among others. Things with Texas are a little up in the air right now due to things I just don't want to go into, so if that falls through, maybe leaving the US would be the best option for Logan and I. I'm already extremely paranoid about things happening with our government as it is, I'm part of the LGBTQIA+, I am non-binary, I'm of Jewish heritage, I am also Mexican and look like it more now since I've been in the sun for hours at a time at Faire, plus my Spanish sir name... So... There's a lot of reasons I don't necessarily feel safe here anymore, even in a liberal haven like California. I was able to accept things with Texas because we'd be away from people, on our own land, but if that doesn't happen, I think I want out before things possibly get worse here.

I'm constantly spiraling. Things will sound like they're heading back on track, and then the next day it's all gone to shit again. I'm living in a constant state of stress, it's actually impacting my body at this point. I just... I want out. I've never dreamed I'd say something like that, but I want out of America. Possibly even denouncing my citizenship. I can't live here with a person like Trump in office. I don't feel safe. With the moves he's making, trying to figure out a way to seek a third term despite what the constitution says, I no longer feel like America is safe for me. I think I may look deeper into the process of immigrating to some of these places, bring it up to Logan and see where he stands.

I would just like to scream out into the void:

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Disenchantment
21:09 Apr 04 2025

May I join you?

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No matter how many years I've worked Faire, I always get this ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach leading up to opening weekend. I don't know what it is, it's not like I don't know what to expect, it's not like I'm not ready, but it's always there. Opening day is Saturday, and I'm totally excited for it, outside of the nervousness. I can't wait to see Andrew, Bailey, Nick, and Jose again, as well as all the familiar faces of patrons.

Oh boy... That stock market...

Bring on the recession.

There's no reason for April Fool's this year. This current administration is joke enough for all of us.