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A day at the Getty Villa was just what I needed. Enjoying my favorite place with my favorite person is a gift I will always be grateful for. I took lots and lots of pictures, mostly for me to remember the place when we move to Texas, and I may post some later, after I go through them. One of their special exhibits were pages from an Ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead. It was so amazing to see that in person. It was the most perfect day weather wise, as well. Sunny, but not hot. I think it was in the high 60's with a very nice breeze. And the short drive along PCH is always something I enjoy, though seeing the devisatation from last year's fires still hurts me heart. We went through Topanga Canyon on the way there and through Los Virgenes on the way home, both were really nice drives. All-in-all, I'm thankful we got today.

Logan has a very rare Friday off, no work, Mina's going to be off at a graduation. So, since it's just going to be the two of us, we got tickets to go to the Getty Villa. I love the Villa, I'd live there if I could. So I'm super happy to be going. It's probably going to be the last time I'll get to go before we move. It'll be a fun day, I think. I'm stoked to be able to share my favorite museum with my favorite person. Not that he hasn't been there before, because he has, but we've never gone together. I'm really looking forward to it.

I just have to say that I am so thankful I have Logan as my life partner. Because if I didn't have him, and I was forced to participate in whatever the fuck is going on with people out there today, no. Just no. On again, off again daily, situationships, whatever the fuck is happening with the red pill shit... Yeah. As I've told Logan, if something ever happens and I find myself single again, it will just be me and my cats. I don't care. I want none of that.

The day has finally come. My driver's license expires on my birthday in August, as usual, but this year, for the first time, I need to go into the DMV and take a vision test, get my finger prints done, and get a new picture. I've had the same picture since I first got my license at 18 and it's worked because I haven't aged much in those 20 years. The most that's really changed is my hair has gone more gray as I no longer dye it. But, ugh. I was hoping we'd be out of here well before then, but it looks like we won't be leaving until September or possibly October at this point. The house needs to pretty much be completely renovated to be livable, new insulation, new floors, the works, and that's going to take some time. So the timeline for leaving keeps getting pushed back, and back, and back. Thankfully it isn't expensive to renew my license, less than fifty bucks, but I don't want to spend hours at the DMV to do shit that won't matter in like, two months. My California license is just going to get replaced with a Texas one once we get there. So, it's a hassle and it's annoying. I hate the DMV. I should get a "real ID", but they're stupid and don't even count for some government shit so, fuck that noise. I'll just get a passport for all that nonsense if Logan and I want to fly somewhere. And, I should have a passport anyway. So yeah, now I have to figure out a day to go down to the DMV to get all this taken care of so I can have a valid license for the two or three months we'll be here after my birthday.

Something feels different here. I can't put my finger quite on what, exactly, but things just feel... off. And sure, it's likely just me, and maybe could be attributed to me just not feeling a need to be here like I used to be, but man, there's just some weird vibes all around.

Or maybe I'm just sick of the same bullshit and the same people doing the same nonsense day after day. I don't know. Am I alone in feeling this way? You tend to get a real understanding of the shifts a website goes thorough after being a part of it for over two decades, and things just feel odd.

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Adain
14:44 May 21 2026

The vibe has been on and off for me here since I joined.

I think two weeks after I joined VR, it was 1:00pm lunchtime, and I wasn't feeling good about being here. No one I knew was online to chat with and there wasn't anything to blog about and the place seemed dead. I was thinking about checking out, and doing something else, and my wife brought my lunch in for me.

A sausage sandwich, piping hot. And I bit into it and my whole life awareness popped open, and everything seemed good, so different, my surroundings, even the walls, and the best thing of all, everything seemed so much brighter and wider and deeper visually.

Why?

She had cooked the sausages in her own blood. And hadn't told me. I could smell them before she brought them, but by biting into them, I could have cried, not in happiness, in, well, awe, plain and simple deep awe. The way that lunch made me feel, I couldn't type. It'd probably be long for a reply.

Anyway, my point is, my laptop was on my lap as I ate, and the Vampire Rave looked utterly different to me then, it looked Vampiric, it felt Vampiric, then again so did the walls and the carpet, because I became more vampiric.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I understand what you mean about the Rave and how it can be perceived from one moment to the next, dependant on mood and external factors, and I have my opinions on why it feels the way it does right now, but my opinions won't add anything positive to your thread and I try not to be negative in general, but there always pm, if you wish for my thoughts, although I won't impose on that for this topic. It's just a passing thought.

Please forgive me if I've gone overboard with the vampirism, although I try not to get too stupid about it.

Hope you are keeping well.

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FALSExCURE
13:36 May 22 2026

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Fires, fires everywhere! I was driving home from a doctor's appointment, and as I was cruising on the 210, I could see three seperate fires. Plus the Sandy Fire that's burning fairly close to Hidden Hills. Logan told me they were warned of possible evacs last night. Ugh. I hate living in SoCal. I can't wait until we can get out of here.

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feather
00:49 May 20 2026

It is that time again. Washington will have it bad too, we are in state of drought till October, so it won't end well for us this summer with fire season starting early.. It gets warmer and drier each year that passes. Glad you are moving away from there.

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Lucas' birthday was a success! That kid got so many cool space themed goodies, and then the telescope from Logan and I was icing on the cake. Not that it's a competition, but we totally won. I'm so happy he was as excited as he was to get it and I hope he puts it to good use. The party was a space themed pool party. It's been a pretty unusual May here in SoCal, as it was barely 70 degrees and it was overcast, not the best combination for a pool party. But kids are nothing if not determined and resilient, because they were all in the water, having fun. But yeah, it was a good day. And, it was really nice to see a lot of my cousins show up, usually they don't put in appearances at such functions, so it was a very welcomed surprise. My uncle Kerry looks like he's doing okay, and I'm glad.

I keep thinking that when we move to the property in Texas, since I likely won't be able to get horses immediately like I want (if ever at this point), maybe raising chickens or ducks would be pretty cool. But, the more I look into it and the more I learn, I'm just like, nope.

I've never been a fan of birds, I love corvids and peacocks, but any other bird I'm indifferent on. It would be great for meat and eggs, but I just don't think I could do it. And I don't think Logan is too keen on the idea of having chickens. I believe, when he lived on the "farm" in their old house in Hidden Hills, back when he showed his mom's horses, they had chickens and he wasn't a fan. They also had a duck here for like, a few months about two years ago, right outside Logan's bedroom window, and that fucker could be so loud.

I want to grow veggies in my own garden, be able to be pretty self-sufficient when it came to our food, but I don't really like to eat duck, it's too greasy for me, and the thought of killing a bird, chicken or duck, I don't think I could do it. I've lived in a major metropolitan area my whole life, in apartments and condos, so it's not a skull I've acquired to just be like, sure, I can chop this animal's head off, pluck off all its feathers, gut it, and cook it. Logan could, but not me. And I don't know if I'll ever get to that point, which really makes being self-sufficient like I want us to be, fucking difficult. I know, I really should just wait until we get to the house to start thinking about these things, I just know that if I don't look into it now, I probably never will. But, who knows. I'm very flip-floppy when it comes to this stuff. I'm super into the idea one day, and then couldn't be more against it the next.

It always makes me chuckle when someone says they're going to stop doing a thing, and then promptly proceeds to keep doing that thing they said they were going to stop. It's even better when they scream it from the rooftops, and then proceed to do the thing in secret, so as not to get caught.

Like, no one told you to stop doing the thing, you came to that decision all on your own. Why say you're going to stop and then continue to do it in hiding when you literally don't have to? I'll never understand people who pull this shit. It's just so silly.

Logan does this with Era, and it drives me nuts. Granted, he doesn't hide that he's still on it, but he's said he's going to step down from the admin team and leave the site for good for the past two and a half years, and here we are today, he's still in his position. I have nothing against Era, perse, but it's doing him no favors being tied to it the way he is.

This could be our wedding song. It sums up how I feel when I'm with mi amor, Logan. 🖤

It is very reminiscent of The Smiths.

I went with my mom today to spend some time with the kids. After dinner, we took them to Guitar Center to get Lucas his birthday present. My mom bought him a Yamaha C40 classical guitar and man, the look of pure happiness on that kid's face was all I needed. He's so excited to start learning how to play. I'm glad he's happy and that he has an actual instrument that he can grow with. I hope he's that happy when his birthday party rolls around of the 16th and he gets to open the telescope Logan and I got him.

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BatsInTheBelphry
05:19 May 09 2026

cool ! Happy Birthday to your son!

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immortalxkiss
05:38 May 09 2026

Not my son, haha, he's my nephew. I don't have nor want children of my own. But, Thank you.

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Mother's Day is coming up fast, and with everything going on with my Aunt Sue's passing, I honestly forgot about it until Logan asked what I was going to do for my mom. So, thank goodness for Amazon and free next-day shipping. I ordered her the hardcover version of 'The Count of Monte Cristo', the Penguin Classics version which is supposed to be the best translation. She's been wanting it for a while, and while she does have an abridged version, she wasn't happy with it. So I think an unabridged version that is widely considered the best version, was the way to go. It's not much, but I know it'll make her happy. And, in the end, her happiness is all I care about. Especially now.

I got through it all. Somehow. Much thanks to Logan for being my rock. I'm still pretty emotionally drained, but I'll be okay. This is the real hard part, continuing on without her. Continuing to live life, knowing I'll never see her again, I'll never hear her voice, I'll never get another hug... I miss her horribly.