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I keep thinking that when we move to the property in Texas, since I likely won't be able to get horses immediately like I want (if ever at this point), maybe raising chickens or ducks would be pretty cool. But, the more I look into it and the more I learn, I'm just like, nope.

I've never been a fan of birds, I love corvids and peacocks, but any other bird I'm indifferent on. It would be great for meat and eggs, but I just don't think I could do it. And I don't think Logan is too keen on the idea of having chickens. I believe, when he lived on the "farm" in their old house in Hidden Hills, back when he showed his mom's horses, they had chickens and he wasn't a fan. They also had a duck here for like, a few months about two years ago, right outside Logan's bedroom window, and that fucker could be so loud.

I want to grow veggies in my own garden, be able to be pretty self-sufficient when it came to our food, but I don't really like to eat duck, it's too greasy for me, and the thought of killing a bird, chicken or duck, I don't think I could do it. I've lived in a major metropolitan area my whole life, in apartments and condos, so it's not a skull I've acquired to just be like, sure, I can chop this animal's head off, pluck off all its feathers, gut it, and cook it. Logan could, but not me. And I don't know if I'll ever get to that point, which really makes being self-sufficient like I want us to be, fucking difficult. I know, I really should just wait until we get to the house to start thinking about these things, I just know that if I don't look into it now, I probably never will. But, who knows. I'm very flip-floppy when it comes to this stuff. I'm super into the idea one day, and then couldn't be more against it the next.

It always makes me chuckle when someone says they're going to stop doing a thing, and then promptly proceeds to keep doing that thing they said they were going to stop. It's even better when they scream it from the rooftops, and then proceed to do the thing in secret, so as not to get caught.

Like, no one told you to stop doing the thing, you came to that decision all on your own. Why say you're going to stop and then continue to do it in hiding when you literally don't have to? I'll never understand people who pull this shit. It's just so silly.

Logan does this with Era, and it drives me nuts. Granted, he doesn't hide that he's still on it, but he's said he's going to step down from the admin team and leave the site for good for the past two and a half years, and here we are today, he's still in his position. I have nothing against Era, perse, but it's doing him no favors being tied to it the way he is.

This could be our wedding song. It sums up how I feel when I'm with mi amor, Logan. 🖤

It is very reminiscent of The Smiths.

I went with my mom today to spend some time with the kids. After dinner, we took them to Guitar Center to get Lucas his birthday present. My mom bought him a Yamaha C40 classical guitar and man, the look of pure happiness on that kid's face was all I needed. He's so excited to start learning how to play. I'm glad he's happy and that he has an actual instrument that he can grow with. I hope he's that happy when his birthday party rolls around of the 16th and he gets to open the telescope Logan and I got him.

COMMENTS

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BatsInTheBelphry
05:19 May 09 2026

cool ! Happy Birthday to your son!

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immortalxkiss
05:38 May 09 2026

Not my son, haha, he's my nephew. I don't have nor want children of my own. But, Thank you.

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POST COMMENT

Mother's Day is coming up fast, and with everything going on with my Aunt Sue's passing, I honestly forgot about it until Logan asked what I was going to do for my mom. So, thank goodness for Amazon and free next-day shipping. I ordered her the hardcover version of 'The Count of Monte Cristo', the Penguin Classics version which is supposed to be the best translation. She's been wanting it for a while, and while she does have an abridged version, she wasn't happy with it. So I think an unabridged version that is widely considered the best version, was the way to go. It's not much, but I know it'll make her happy. And, in the end, her happiness is all I care about. Especially now.

I got through it all. Somehow. Much thanks to Logan for being my rock. I'm still pretty emotionally drained, but I'll be okay. This is the real hard part, continuing on without her. Continuing to live life, knowing I'll never see her again, I'll never hear her voice, I'll never get another hug... I miss her horribly.