The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

why do i always jump to blame someone else, whether i state it or not? why do i find it harder and harder to state the truth? why does it hurt so much to have my opinion? why do people hurt when i'm sad? why do they have to suffer as much and as long as i do? why do they chose this? why do i keep going lower and lower? why am i pushing people away? why cant i be happy and comfortable? why cant i have that and not get bored? why cant some things just stay the same? why dont i just stay the same? why cant i change who i am? why am i so cold? why dont i care anymore? why do i exist?



i am scared.

i am hurt.

i want to change.

but i cant.

i want others to be happy.

i dont want them to be effected by me anymore.

i dont want them to care about me.





.......i want to disappear....

forever gone.

no turning back.

no where else to go.

a place where no one can be hurt.

a place where no one can be effected.

a place where no one exists but me.

me.

all alone.

in the dark.

in the cold.

with my heart.

just my perfectly matching heart.

matches my ugly words.

matches my horible looks.

matches the weather around me.



dark. cold. alone.... home.



home is where the heart is.