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Doctor-speak
04:58 Dec 08 2006
Times Read: 648




Doctor: "This should be taken care of right away."

Translation: I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.



Doctor: "Let me check your medical history."

Translation: I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you."



Doctor: "We have some good news and some bad news."

Translation: The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.



Doctor: "Let me schedule you for some tests."

Translation: I have a forty percent interest in the lab.



Doctor: "I'd like to prescribe a new drug."

Translation: I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.



Doctor: "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."

Translation: I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.



Doctor: "I'd like to run some more tests."

Translation: I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve it.