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*sigh* I just got invited to join my friend's family for Thanksgiving, but I couldn't bring myself to go. It's too intimate of a social setting with too many people I don't know. On top of that, I have to take out my partial to eat, and I'm embarrassed to do that around even those closest to me. I really would like to go but only because I'm tired of being alone. Grr. This sucks.

I'm tired of the b.s., and I'm tired of being alone pretty much all the time. Right now, I just wish I had somebody to cuddle up and watch some tv with.

I just noticed that I use the words actually, although, and however too much. I should work on that.

I'm thinking about leaving college to study massage therapy. I've always had a talent for massage, but I've never been taught anything about it. As good as I am now, I can only imagine how awesome I would be if I actually knew what I was doing. When I give them to people, I'm constantly being asked if I've studied, and they tell me I should when they find out I haven't. I've never taken this too seriously because it just didn't seem like the right path.



Now... I'm not so sure. I'm not doing the greatest in collge, but I've never been that great in traditional school. Plus, I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life and how to go about it, and this seems like it might be a way to get there. I've got talent, and I enjoy it. Maybe.

Dang. I'm exhausted, but it's a good thing. Today was pleasantly long. I'm really glad to be sitting at home chillin'. I'm going to bed a little early tonight because of that and the fact that I work a 10 hour shift tomorrow.

Today, I had the best sex I've ever had with an attractive 40 y/o Asian, and they paid me for it. Fuck yes.

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Isis101
03:03 Nov 20 2011

Umm...wow...!

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Today has been an awesome day so far, and it keeps getting better at every turn. Needless to say, I'm feelin' pretty good right now.

XD I just had somebody offer not only to pay my gas to drive half way across the state to them, but to also pay me to let them go down on me! I can't help but take that as a huge compliment.

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chrysanthemia
19:05 Nov 19 2011

Or, as a troll. . . .

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Blegh. I should be going to bed right now, and doilng that would help with my extreme boredom right now. On the other hand, the thought of going to bed alone and waking up alone is revolting. Is it so much to ask to not be alone for one night?

Psht. I tried to go out tonight. I really just wanted to socialize and have a good time, but there's nothing gon' on in town tonight. It sucks. I'm sitting home alone now. I would kill just to have somebody cuddle up on the couch with me and watch tv, but it's not going to happen while I'm in this town!

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toxicbite23
06:15 Nov 19 2011

I am sorry to hear that....



If you were visiting Sydney or Melbourne.... there is

ALWAYS something going on and plenty of women running around..... lol

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It sometimes really annoys me when I see people post stuff on FB about vrious mental health awareness stuff. Mostly, it pisses me off that the think they're making a difference by reposting status messages about it. As someone who has multiple mental disorders, I can tell you that it's worthless to do. If you really want to make a difference, FB isn't the place it's going to happen. Quit trying to use other people's shit to make yourselves feel better.

Apparently, I'm not all that bad at beat boxing.

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Requiem
12:53 Nov 15 2011

o.O



I hesitate to ask ...

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placidchaos
18:21 Nov 15 2011

I have a friend named Leon, and he's been trying to get me to do some freestyle beat boxing. For some reason, although I've never done anything like that around him, he's been convinced I'm good at it. I have no clue why.



After I chilled with him and another friend last night, I came home and was super relaxed. I started making noises out of boredom, something I've done since I was little (it's an ADHD symptom I think). After a moment, I was unintentionally beat boxing, and I just went with it. I was surprised at how good I am. I'm not saying I'm bad ass at it, but I'm not bad.

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Last night was epic on a scale I can't even begin to describe. At least, it was for me. It was the most intense experience of my life.



We got to the rave at around 10. We didn't leave there until 4. I was dancing pretty much the entire time. I mean I let loose. I'm not going to sit here and b.s. you that I didn't take some shit, but I was amazed that I actually let loose before I did. ONce that stuff kicked in... Woah boy.



I lost all concept of time and inhibition on the dance floor. The music was incredible. I got lost in it more than once. I know there was at least one moment when my only reality was that I was dancing with glow sticks. There was this insane moment during the night when I was dancing with this chic. Holy. Fuck. All that I was aware of was her proximity. I couldn't have felt any more intimate with her even if we'd had sex.



I danced so hard that the front of my shirt was drenched with sweat. I could ring it out, no joke. It's a little gross, but that's just how it is. Nobody really seemed to care either.



Damn. I was intending to type more, but I've run out of steam. I'm still coming down.

Fuck thois shit so ain't m y scene, but I''m tired of beong aloen all the time. So ehat should I do? I can eithew go to partiess of I can sit home aloone. BAH!

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Oceanne
12:59 Nov 12 2011

Why dont you try another activity? Besides parties n bars etc..

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placidchaos
17:51 Nov 12 2011

Where I live, it's parties, bars, or sitting at home. The only way I'll get something different is to drive 1 or more hours away. Well, unless I want to attend campus events, but they're SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO boring. Plus, those aren't me any more than the other stuff.

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Do NOT! I repeat: DO NOT! post journal entries when really high.

Seeing the counselor yesterday was good for me, and I've decided to keep going for now. For the most part, I talked and she listened. She did ask a couple of questions, and she made a couple of observations. One of those really made me feel better. She pointed out that with my background and the problems I have, it's impressive that I'm even doing as well as I am. She also said she could tell I was mentally and emotionally exhausted after just a minute or two of talking with me. Oh yeah, and I'm supposed to fix or replace my Mp3 players so I can bring my music with me. That one gave me a little chuckle, but she said I need to be able to have it with me since I use it so well as a therapy device.

I'm kind of excited for the 12th. I got my hands on some info on a good rave that I want to try to hit. I've never been to one before, but I've always wanted to check it out. Now, I just have to try to figure out the details. I'm hoping to find somebody in my town who wants to go and will chip in for gas.