The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

As the rain falls, the pain subsides... slightly. This has not been all because of YAK, this has been a bit metaphysical, a bit physical, a bit biological, and a bit emotional. "A little of column A, B, C and D."



I have been too focused again on searching in every closet and under ever rock for some wrong that I could have done that I have yet again triggered my overactive responsibility chip to guilt my body into submission. --I vowed to stop doing that over a year ago, but somehow it crept back to me as if it were an old teddy bear looking for its home.



As the rain cleanses the night and my body begins another cycle I feel a sense of renewal.



Let me get this next dozen things finished, and I will have time for what I was meant to be. The time has been heralded; the hour is now. Yet I ask for just a few days to tidy up first.



And so I settle on... Monday.



Monday will be the new beginning.



Monday will be the start of everything.

It's been a very long week. I'm concerned that the carnivale show is on Tuesday and the ball seems to have been dropped (nay, dribbled) all over the place. (I mean, hey! Flag for travelling here!!!)



The shower is done, it is beautiful, I showered in it yesterday for the first time. It is so pretty! but I am still worried about the possibility of eventual mold down the line. Now let's be frank, if mold happens it would take two days to rebuild: better... faster... stronger.... Of all the things to worry about in life, that should be the least, eh? I should just chillax, huh!



Due to the success of the stone shower experiment, the boys have a business meeting on Sunday to start and incorporate a spx company. Meanwhile's, (I want that to be sooo their thing, a boys club where I keep my nose out of it, so they can feel free to create without feeling bridled) I will be helping one of my friends with their resume.



The guy that was helping on our house for $10/hr under the table hasn't called or stopped by since Sunday. He has completely dropped off the face of the earth, and quite frankly I'm worried that something has happened to him. (but again, probably overused & misplaced worry; huh?)



It's a little after 6 am, I've gotten the work computers switched from dsl to cable internet, the speed is 10x faster, I've gotten a few more bugs worked out so that the shop 'pooters run a little better, The D-10-RPG Chuthulu game is over, the shop is finally closed, I'm just getting home and unwound now.



It's six am and I'm having my first evening beer.





After a week like this, and such a long day today, me thinks I needs to go gets me a second.

The days are sooo long, but not long enough. I'm getting up early, running errands, working on the house... Today I was just crying in pain from the overwork I did yesterday on the house. I finished up with all of the insulation in the kitchen and bathroom wall. We have about five sheets of drywall left to do starting tomorrow; but they are such odd patches - like five sided parallelagrams shaped like giant freshwater river trout, they might take two or three days to complete!



I seem to remember something about the last mile being the most difficult, something.. something...?



I am working my butt off on the house, keeping the store stocked, falling behind in everything else, yet running as fast as I can. I'm dealing with this and that for other people 24x7.... Ah, but what else is a store owner supposed to do?



Never until now have I realized the need for mandatory schedules. I hereby declare that no matter what else happens in a day, no matter what "emergencies" manifest around me; I must set aside mandatory time for myself, and mandatory time to catch up on store paperwork.



If I let this slide any longer, I will have a short life where my end is brought about by either neglecting myself, taking on too much (stress, yak, unrequited potential, unbridled thought, or strange energy) from others, or drowining in an unattended pile of paperwork.



Damn.

I have been avoiding schedules and discipline my whole life.

And here they are... Schedules and Discipline. Sneaking up on me with whatever medical maladies would manifest from their denial, as beligerent children in tow.



A-La - peanut butter and jelly jackrabbits... erm, sandwiches.

Yes, that's it.

Sandwiches.