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Here I am.. in pitts, still unpacking, still working, still working on the house. I have what I have always dreamed of. I finally have a simple kind of life.



Its a bit harder to get everything done without all the modern conveniences, there's a bit more effort involved, but there seems to be a lot more free time, and I have *NO* idea how it works out this way.



For many years, I worked two jobs and went full time to school. The first time I didn't have a class after work, and I came home at 6:30 at night and had the whole night until 11 PM free, I thought, "SHIT! what the hell do people do with all this free time?!?"



I almost feel that way right now.



I worked a full 8 hours today... on each break did a little bit of prattering around the house; after dinner I cooked dinner for the next THREE days, (Yes, not only did I cook, I cooked THREE different dinners to feed three people for a full THREE days, that's NINE meals!) Then I did dishes, and here it is 7:30 at night I'm about to move the tools into the other room and fabricate a CLOSET.



It has me thinking: "Where the HELL did all this free time come from?!"



I mean I suppose some of it is that I don't have to commute to work, some of it is that we're using paper and plastic utensils and dishes except for cookware, part of it is carrying the trash and recycling right out front to the burning pit with each use instead of having to deal with trash, recycling and chores that go along with it. Part of it is spraying down and wiping down things as they are used instead of dealing with all the mess all at once.



I just can't believe how much simpler this life is... when one would think that living in a partly functional house would be so much more COMPLEX?!







You know... it reminds me of a theory I once heard....





Way back in the dark ages, man worked about 40 hours a week. Now with the help of improved technology man works an average of 60-80 hours a week.



I never before thought I would ever experience the difference.



Let me tell you.... The difference is AMAZING!



:)

I've been in transit for a week, moving from Philly to Pitts, then dealing with extra-ordinary work BS.



The senior mgt types soooo do not want to admit that we will not have a job much longer. They've moved Helpdesk to India, the Developers WERE in India.... Me thinks that it is only logical that the offshore coordinator might need to be in India as well....



But of course, as many times as I ask... I get evasive answers.



Fine by me. As of now, I'm working remotely from Pitts. I've arranged a sweet situation, and perhaps, me thinks the only REASON I was allowed to arrange such a situation was because they KNOW they're moving my job to India. So I can work from the PITTS house with Green hair... and all the while they strip away layers of DB access and responsibility while I sit innefectively waiting for my pink slip....



So, here we go again.



I'll use them as long as I can get a paycheck out of it.



WOW.



We live in interesting times, and we teach ourselves to look on the bright side. Who knows what I'll be doing for money in a month or two?



What fun!

Too many ideas, so little time....

It runs in my family. We all lack focus. If I had unlimited time I would....



Write and draw a comic strip called "artificial asparagus," finish my book and publish it, write more poetry, draw more, get more active, stretch and cardio every day, sing, rejoin a band, write and record some parodies, some originals, pack for the new house....



Learn to play the tenor sax, keyboards and guitar, write more music, have sex more, see more sunsets, climb more mountains, go bass jumping, learn to fly (a plane and a hanglider), get my class A/B (I already have the M...)



Learn the basics in 20 different languages, --Hello... how are you... where's the bathroom... and most importantly, "don't touch me there!"



Visit Africa, India, China, Japan, Austrailia, South America and Europe...



Hike the Himalayas and walk with and talk to a guru, climb MT kilimanjara, navigate the rainforests of Peru to see if that "skull" looking mountain and the lava pits I saw on google earth is really there... lol!



Learn to meditate, mediate, run a think tank and apply some of this mind power to solving world problems....



Learn more natural olde remedies (spiritual and herbology) become more aware and entuned with the energies that surround and abound...



Negotiate, buy and sell a few houses, a club, theatre, and art center. Breed reptiles, help the homeless, work in wildlife rehabilitation, work with large cats and bears....



I would do whatever my heart desires. And do all of this (or as much of it as I can) with my love by my side.





I don't really lack the time, do I? It's the focus that I require.



I have 8 free hours a day. I need to start with discipline. I shall start with the smallest. I need more sleep, less computer time, more excercise, --less talkie and more workie on the above.





I draw the line. Listed above are my 10 year goals.



Me.

Sleep.

Now.

GO!

Bad meatball Sub!



Apparently my body's defenses against this malicious meatball sub that I consumed over nine hours ago include sending "Randalph the Retched" to block the enterance of my large intestine, waving his staff of mordant indigestion and shouting defiantly, "You shall NOT pass!"



The effects of which include foul flames of dyspepsia shooting out the mouth of the northern enterance burning my throat, coupled with the resultant backdraft of torrent winds of discord ravaging the southern pass.



Yes, the girl is doubled over in pain.



God I hope this episode will be over soon!

An Afternoon with Kevin Smith....



Yes, we went to see Mr. Silent Bob himself. My b/f really loves his stuff (as do most men I know) and I just couldn't resist the opportunity to see my man ecstatically happy... like a kid in a comic-con... ah, well you know....



Of course, the day was wraught with obsticles. As if Karma was saying, "Look... You can see him, but you need to clear up some of your debts first." The train to Center City was waylayed. Septa was running shuttle busses between stations; oh joy! We got on the train and what should have been a 40 minute ride directly to the city ended up a 15 minute ride till the "end of the line," a 30 minute busride to another train station, and then another 15 minute train ride into the city. And let's not mention the extra hour of delays... lol!



So all the while we are circum-navigating this "clusterfuck", we amuse ourselves by playing the *guess who else is going to this "30-year old geek" convention* game. Granny... Nah, she's probably going to the Reading terminal market to get her daily dose of apples which are said to keep the terminal away.... How about that really FAT guy with bad skin wearing a 5-XL D-BZ T-shirt? Good guess! And what about that really skinny pale guy wearing the fishing hat carrying a backpack with a wolverine patch? Yup, probably him too!



As we got off at our "final destination" (I agree with George Carlin on that one... I never really did like that word "final".) We picked the skinny squirrelly guy to follow to the correct enterance. OOps, "our bad." He got away. (Quick little fucker that he was....) Thankfully, it required merely a quick scan over the horizon to find another guide to light our way.... "Oh dear, we've lost our guide..... Oh, nevermind. There's another one!"



We get to the convention, and we are told that since we have not yet been "checked in" there is another door through which "new arrivals" need to make their "debut." This door just happens to be across two major highways and down and around the block. Lovely. Then its underground, over three long hallways and back up to get to the main convention.



Needless to say, by the time we got there all of the "special, extra" tickets required to see my b/f's mentor were completely gone. What to do, what to do???



Lets just say "the pookah" did what she does best. Its called "manifestation." Its a little game she plays with reality that goes a little something like this: "There are probably 400 tickets out here within a 1 mile radius. All I need to do is find a way to get TWO of them into our hands. This is a very plausable opportunity."



Through the cunning theivery of some billboard paper and crayons.... (much to the behoovement of security) and the blatant accostation and questioning of several dozens of convention-goers, I found one mother willing to sell her ticket, and one girl who just happened to have an "extra" to give to me.



I met my boyfriend back at the booth where he was trying to talk to the event organizers about his current state of dissapointment, I flashed my two newly aquired yellow pieces of paper... and his response was "I really don't want to know WHAT you had to do to WHOM to get those, do I?" LOL!



Seating for the event is of course, first come, first serve, so at 45 minutes before the show we stand in line with the other "30 year old geeks" and talk in "30 year old geek-speak." To my delight, some of this included Dr. Who, Eddy Izzard, and Greg the Bunny, however the pentultimate "moment of dork" was when the guys around me decided that the reason the stormtroopers can't shoot straight is because they are defective multiplicity-esque copies of one another. Their current theory is that if you take off their helmets they will sound and act much like "Runt" from Animaniacs. One of the guys proclaimed loudly that he will do a short comedic film based upon the subject.



None too soon, the line begins moving and we're herded into the room. It took quite a while for everyone to get seated, so while we were waiting....









*I know you're all waiting for the rest of it... I'll post in the Mascara section when its all done, OK?*

It is June 1, and the anger and depression that has consumed me for the last 10 days or so has nearly completely subsided. Today, I managed to get my butt back on the computer and get back to work.



While taking a quick afternoon break, I re-read some of my past journal entries and realized... end of February: I was a bit angry and depressed, but by March 1 it subsided. The same thing happened at the end of March; the same thing happened at the end of April, and now its happened again at the end of MAY!



OMG! ALL things must run in cycles right? Isn't that drummed into the students of Native American Spirituality? Now that I know what it is... I can deal with it appropriately! Sure, its a little worse this time because its the first time in a while I've been completely nico-free....



B.F.D!



And to think... I called a hotline (I was worried) I went to a professional (I saw this guy ONE TIME and he prescribed something on my first visit.) I was about to start medication to treat a problem I DON'T have!



So, given all of this... I think I owe someone a very BIG thank you.



*************************************



Cancer -

I need to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have been keeping journals for YEARS, and it was only when I analyzed my entries organized as YOU have it organized here in VR (with a new page for each month) that I was able to start recognizing some "poignant patterns."



I’ve complimented you on your wisdom before; but I’m not sure you really understand how much of an inspired leader you really are for so many of us out here. The amount of insight you demonstrate, at your age, is truly almost frightening.



Anyway, thanks so very much again. Now that I have a clearer direction - I can get back to work. :)