The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

In the WAR between good and neutrality...

A man dies.



His last words were, "Tell... my... wife... I... said...

meh."



****************************



So yah, of course I know a lot of my mood stems from the thoughts I'm thinking... I hate my job... poor me, I have an asanine schedule, I have to do this, that and the other... blah, blah, blah....



I'm sick of these thoughts. I'm sick of hearing myself whine and BITCH all the time. What the hell? My life is fine! and if I keep chronically feeling like this, why don't I *DO* something about it?



Why the FUCK do I feel so sad all the time lately? Is it just sleep dep? Frustration? Feeling trapped? Anger? What do I gotta do to get OUT of my own mind? What can I do to change this?



Scapegoat time:

*points finger at work again*

Must become and independent contractor and finish this book publishing. Must spend more time editing book and bidding for contracts and less time on VR. I will be miserable until I do this for myself....



GRRRRRRrrrrr!



Backpeddling again:

*angry pookah needs distractions*



GRRRRRRrrrrr!

We are all creatures of habit. The patterns and trends that we set ourselves into are not easy to change.



I am beginning to believe that we were put here on this earth to learn to break free of our genetic predipositions. To build spiritual character, internal resolve, and soul definition. I am beginning to believe that our sole purpose for experiencing life in the human form is simply to learn to break our core programming.



I was once told that an Aries is always supposed to be a first life. Perhaps this further supports my theory that only in human form can we learn to break the habits of animalistic instinct, genetic predispositioning and stimulous/response. --Cause let me tell you. Although I am extremely adaptable when I NEED to be for survival. I utterly suck at making an optional consciously-inspired change. As many books as I read, I still can't seem to stick to a schedule of discipline and self-improvement.



What is wrong with me? Perhaps nothing. Perhaps learning to evolve beyond my instincts and core programming is my primary purpose for this lifetime.



Do I believe in reincarnation? I'm not quite sure yet.... But as energy is never created nor destroyed, where does a soul go when the body is dead. It must go somewhere, right? Is it hanging out in the atmosphere as raw energy; can it be reabsorbed?



I suppose so.... Who knows?



Must ponder more later.

For now, back to work!

So, lately I've been feeling pretty down on myself. I want a change... but apparently, I don't want it bad enough.



I keep biting my tongue. I keep smoking. I don't excercise at all. I work in cycles of overdrive and burnout, I'm not looking for a new job. I'm not working on my book. I'm not eating right, and I'm not forgiving myself.



I feel like I'm "stuck" I feel like its impossible to change, no matter how many times I try. And believe me, I keep trying.



I am my own worst enemy.

I'd really like to be my own best friend instead.

Yes, so many times, people have told me I have this TALENT thing.



And so many times, I have felt that I have squandered it. By smoking, I have ruined my voice, I do not write as best, or as often as I could, I do not study as well, or as often as I should, etc.



I am sitting here... all 230 lbs of me, wondering when my life will become what I want it to be... and I realize, I am not disciplined enough to make it what I want it to be...



So where does that leave me?



If anything, I think this calls for a poem...



(see latest poetry entries...)

I'm about to go into the office. I dread what will become of today. There's a big-wig meeting today requested by the client. I was not CC'd on any of this crap.



They have requested that my management comes down from NYC and we all have a meeting where we will discuss "expectations."



In this meeting, I'm going to have to stand up for myself, and hold my ground saying, "Look, this is too much. I have needed a medical leave for a long time now. I'm trying to catch you up and leave you in a good spot, but I'm finding I just can't do this anymore. I need a break."



I also need to find time to put in my timesheets. 'Cause this not getting paid for a month (although it IS my fault) is complete crap.



A person can only do so much. I am human, not supergirl. And my body and soul are tired.



Enough procrastination. I must shower and go face my doom.

I need to journal right now. So much is going on, that I feel like I'm buried under everything. I'm stuck in a pit.



Work is going horrible. A month ago, I was just about to ask for an LOA, because I have been working myself to a state of ill-heath for a year and a half. Things have only gotten worse. I couldn't work myself out of this hole if I worked 80 hours a week for the next two months, and my health just simply won't allow that right now.



I'm in a dillemma right now in that if I quit my job, not only will it leave them in a bad spot, but also I won't have the money to finance the fixxer upper house I'm working on. If I take a different job, we won't have the free time to get out here and work (cause my b/f works weekends.)



My client has been expecting me to do 24x7 support, work days and nights, and I am a very unhealthy puppy right now, who just needs about three weeks of rest. They called in my company in NYC, and there will be a big meeting on Monday to discuss "expectations." And they have now stated that I will need to be in the office more often. I ask, How can I possibly work 24x7 around the clock, if I'm expected to go INTO the office as well? How will this not further burn me out?



I dread Monday.



On the fixxer-upper front, We built a computer in exchange for a contractor's help on the house, we were supposed to get roofing help. This contractor has problems of his own.... and now so does the computer we built for him.



I hate when I get to the point that I want to start scratching my arms, pulling out my hair, screaming, crying, and walking to wherever the land ends.



I feel like I'm fucked. But of course, I realize, I'm fucked by my own dependence.



I want to break free. Free from the money and people that bind me.

So, we've just purchased and installed our very first ceramic throne in the fixxer upper house we bought. Given that I've always rented before, I guess this is the very fist ceramic throne I've ever owned.



Yes, the toilet is installed in the house... and it works! (Well, we don't have water here yet, but it works in that when you dump water in it, it flushes down where its supposed to go...) Until we are ready to turn the water on here... I guess, sewage is free! lol!



Second big step - We have cable internet now...

So I can work efficiently while I'm here....



This is so weird... things are moving along, its not like one waves a wand, and gets their house rebuilt, progress is slow and steady, frustrating sometimes, but its still progress....



I'm overwhelmed, anxious, a tiny bit nauseous and elated. Ambivelent, perhaps? There's so much to do, I almost don't know what's next!

There's no place like 127.0.0.1.



We're spending the week working from and working on the pittsburgh house. So far, we've cleaned up some of the deconstruction, torn down a chimney, cleaned up again, and we're installing our toilet tomorrow! YAY!



As much as work is a pain.... when I'm working from the pittsburgh house, and seeing that the money I earn is actually building us a life, it all seems worth it! Even the all nighters!



Once we get the toilet installed, we have the opportunity to "camp" here on a semi-regular basis without too much discomfort. At this point, work should start to fly, and the house will start to come together nicely!



I am just, a very happy kitty.

So, with much trepadation, we went back to the pitts house that we are gutting and rebuilding. Here are the pics of what the house looked like when we started.... (before pics) and here is what our plans are for the finished product. (The plan!)



We haven't been out to the "Pitts house" for the last few weeks, and so I was a bit nervous. As typically happens when I let my nerves get to me, I am a bit under the weather. Sore throat, stuffed nose, feeling icky, etc.



We're getting to that critical point... we will soon be able to live here full time while fixing it up. It will shortly be possible to stay here and work full time after a few more minor modifications. (AKA: this week, we plan to install a toilet.)



For now, its "putting out fires" outside for men, and a lil' porto potty for me. All "serious business" is done in town. Showers and such too. Its like camping, but we're actually making a house grow out of it. Its really cool. (Well, during the winter it was really COLD, because there is still no heat.)



We bought the house in August, the paperwork was finally all cleared up by October, and I think we've put in a solid month's work on it so far. Its cleaned out and gutted, and rebuilding starts NOW. (Hence, trepedation.)



SO yes, I'm on dial up right now (we have no water, no heat, but we have electric and phone because I couldn't possibly get away from work to come here unless I have the ability to support the client 24x7 while we're rebuilding.) So sadly, I'm not rating people, and I'm not playing hangman at all until we get home on Sunday. I just don't have the patience to watch an elaborate, wonderfully done profile load on dial up; lest it might actually cause me to take the sledgehammer out to see if there was anything else to be demolished.



SO here we are, "roughing it for the week" but trying to make something better out of it. We (my boyfriend and I) are finally house owners. (Well, we're owners of a gutted house for now, but we're house owners, nonetheless.) So far its been smooth sailing... (knock on wood.) The house has been very *ahem* "generous"....



*sung to the tune of the "12 days of christmas"*



On the twelfth day of tearing down the home revealed to me...



Twelve yards of garbage,

eleven unused wood planks,

ten hidden rats nests,

nine tins of used paint,

eight blown out fuses,

seven pounds of rat poo,

six iron heaters,

five computer screens!

Four broken pagers,

three dead rats,

two gas stoves,

and a crusty engagement ring!



Woot! SO much fun! Thank god for tetanus boosters, work gloves and dust masks!

I am nature bound. I am an empath. I'm a live and let live person. I strive for patience and understanding. No one is perfect. Let it breathe, let it live, let it be. I would rather understand our differences than see any bad blood happen.



I try to understand others first. Usually, I will try to ask a question about them... or explain my position... ask them to explain their position.... and see if a matter can be resolved.



But alas, there are those that are not as patient. There are those that would just rather hurt others, publicly as well as privately; there are those that are so focused on the "tit for tat" that they cannot come to the peace table.



Not too many people realize that when another person bothers you, then it is that very thing inside yourself that you are uncomforatable with. You are uncomfortable with your own reflection. So when one is petty, and tries to hurt others because they feel "hurt" who are they really hurting?



Not many people take the time and have the patience for understanding themselves and others. And that... is very sad.

I've been reading that a cough... is actually the manifestation of the spiritual supression of the voice.



I have noticed that I cough a lot when I am working... however, I barely cough at all when I am drinking...



I'm guessing that when I'm drinking, I'm more apt to "speak my mind" and therefore do not have the urge to cough so badly.



When I am working, I must supress everything... and I usually end up coughing so much, I need an "aspirator" to come to my rescue.



Coincidence?



Perhaps not.

I am so ashamed.

I wished everone a happy ST. Pat's today, but I just realized I completely missed Pi Day! (3-14)



How in the HELL could I have done that? I feel like a traitor to my techie core!



Its like as if I missed international talk like a pirate day...



It can't be!



I must be in hell....

Well, I got some sleep; and subsequently my sense of humor has returned.



I LOVE these T-shirts.

and THIS ONE is my favorite.

Tired, but can't sleep. The all nighter I pulled for work screwed up my schedule. Can't seem to edit the book or write music either. My mind is creatively void and I can't help but stare into oblivion. I am hoping tomorrow will be less hectic. I am anxious about the house we're working on. I am frazzled over the fork in my career that I perceive ahead of me.



I will log off now and try to sleep again. With any luck, my friend the sudoku grid will usher my path towards the sandman.

All done. The last of the executables is running now. I have 8 hours before I need to be up working again with India, so I've delegated the babysitting of the last job, and I'm going to bed NOW!

I am in the midst of a work marathon. 30 hours so far... and counting. I'm waiting for one of the managers to approve re-invoicing... so I can go the frack to sleep!!



YAY! approval just came in, so now all I have to do is wait for these executables to finish, and I can shut-eyes.

Book re-edited up to page 20 and reposted at this link.



Just got a serious issue raised to critical status at work, so I will be dissapearing to envelope myself in 1 to 3 consecutive all-nighters.



Iffen I'm not on.... You know why.

I'll be back when the work crisis is over.

TTFN.

OK, well.... I know that I want to distribute copies of my book to homeless shelters and homeless advocates, because I want to have a list of helpful numbers and information in the back.... I also want people to be able to purchase it from B&N and outside the country... So I'm going to purchase the 13 number isbn, and international listings. The price of each hard cover book to print will be $13. So I'll buy, I guess 50 initial copies, for friends and family, and let the rest be POD ordering.



As for the distribution of information at the back of the book, I want to print tons of "manuscript" copies and place them around homeless shelters, but I don't want spend $13/copy to do so... So for the "free distribution copies" I suppose these will just be plastic ring bound copies, done at a regular printer, at a cost of about $4/copy for copying and plastic binding, and each "free copy" will have a cover page showing where to purchase an actual copy, and detailing that for each actual copy sold from the POD, I will donate $1 to Interfaith Housing.



Bookmarks as marketing tools? Not sure yet. Its a $200 extra cost that maybe is premature.



Whats next?

Format an 8.5x11 copy, insert the help numbers, upload to staples.com, and order 100 bound copies of the "manuscript" (aka: Free copies for homless centers, advocates and similar non profits) at staples.com



Then, Start distributing.



I could get the manuscripts finalized and ordered before 2 am if I start NOW!



*logging off VR*

Apparently, I had a spot of bad meat last night... I'm very ill today. So at 5:00 am today, I wrote work to let them know I am sick, and to please do their best to hold all non-critical issues until tomorrow.



I still got three phone calls at home and dozens of emails. And most of these were non-critical issues.



Yes, as much as I love having the choice to work from home, and as much as I love being able to make my own hours, I was correct in my instincts that I need a change.



Now, aside from finding my own programming/web contracts and singing gigs, I also plan to put the final editing changes on my book and POD it. Publish a list of helpful 800 numbers in the back.... Distribute a few copies around starting with homeless shelters and homeless advocates, start a whirlwind of PR, donate $1 for every book sold to Interfaith Housing...



I can see it now, this will open up many doors for me. I'll be in local government making changes for the better before I know it!

So as if it were manifestation, kharma, the energies of the universe, whatever.... (Consider my last journal entry.)



A friend of mine just sent me a link to lulu.com. If I choose to go "POD" (print on demand) with the book I'm writing, the toolbox just landed right in my lap!



All I have to do is edit, layout, draw a few more images, scan them in, arrange, print out, review, edit again, and convert to PDF... then pay money and viola! I am a published author with an ISBN number and a book in print!



I have goosebumps and chills, it seems almost too good to be true!



Holy cow, batman! I have some WORK to do!!!

I am the contracting animal. My attention is short, so I generally take three month assignments to keep things lively. When I stagnate at any place too long, I get depressed.



Spring has come, and it has heralded my basic instinct to make a change again. I have been fighting this urge with all my might because I feel it would be stupid for me to leave this "commfy" assignment, where I am the only one that knows the system, where I can work from home and have green hair if I like.



At the same time, I watch my b/f slowly starting to suppliment the income of the house doing what he dreams. Making armor, weapons, props, chainmail and teaching film. The green dye in my hair seeps into my core, as I watch him begin to succeed with an extremely jealous heart. I think, Its not fair that I have to do this crappy computer work to make ends meet, and he gets to do what he loves!



I realize that this is my choice. I made the choice to do what pays the bills instead of what I love. But alas, the bills must be paid, and the fixxer-upper house we bought for $4000 free and clear must be torn down and rebuilt so we can ditch this rent. I would be stupid to leave my job now, right?



Wrong. I cannot change the animal I am. I have been making terrible attempts to supress my feelings for this change for the last year; because this time I know, I must go even one step further. This time, I know I must take the scariest step. The next step up for me, is a clear leap off a cliff. This time, I know I must make it as an independent virtual contractor and an independent singer.



I am going to try to hang on for three more months. I know it will be difficult, but if I work really hard.... I know I can line up some contracting and singing gigs and make a smooth transition into what I love without serious financial ramafications.



The choice is up to me. Only I have the power to make a change for the better.



*peace out*

I kept my word. I went hiking. Well, fate helped out a little bit, my friend Jim called at noon... and I asked him if he wanted to go hiking with me. Once I threw my hat over the fence and had a friend depending on me to take him hiking (and built-in company manifested by the universe --thank you, universe--) there was no turning back. YAY!



So, we went hiking on the trails by the wissahickon creek. We went to the tree house, stopped off at the great beech (I think "the beech" must look better when the waves roll on out....) We crossed "cucumber pasture" to the large cucumber tree. (I had been searching for the cucumber tree, for the last year. ...and there it was today, taunting me, as if it had been there the whole time!)



Then we went to the restaurant at the end of the park, (not to be confused with "the restaurant at the end of the universe", but definitely to be confused with the restaurant "where the sidewalk ends.")



Then we headed back, over the bridge, up the "hobbit steps" to visit the "Stoned Indian" then across the covered bridge (feeling like ichabod crane, not sure which way the headless horseman was going to come at us....) and finally hiked two more miles back along the river passing various waterfalls, until we reached the car.



Topics of discussion included building a "Poor Man's Knight Rider", Masonic temple entrances cleverly disguised as stone water fountains, porch to house size ratios in the deep south, natural rock amphitheatres to host Shakespeare plays and heavy metal concerts, drying processes of bamboo. Oh, and Jim wants to hug all girls he sees riding horses along the trails, and call them "money."



Coincidentally, we met two people we knew along the way, The Reverand Saint Michael, and his trusty sidekick, Jenna. They pointed out a girl with cherry-koolaide red hair, wearing all red... meanwhile, I have green hair and was wearing all green.



They thought the idea of my "nemisis" was cute.... so, they said she gave me a dirty look.... So lil' pooka, started frothing, growling snarling and foaming in public... "The Rev" wanted to ref the mortal combat battle that would surely ensue. That was fun.



When my feet started burning (we hiked over 10 miles) I got to sit and do some centering, and some thinking, and of all the things I've realized, I've realized this:



I must not let my environment change who I am. I must keep singing, hiking, and learning, --alone, if nothing else-- despite the lethargy that encroaches via 24x7 computer support work, and despite the indoor animal my b/f naturally is.



I must be me. I must not let my job, or the habits of those I'm with change who I am.

So, I realize that over the last week, I've been taking care of others, and again neglecting myself.



Tomorrow I plan for a hike along the wissahickon creek, up to pay homage to the stoned indian, and possibly to sit and center in the treehouse.



Now, will I actually make it there? I suppose that is the result of a choice, isn't it? Am I actually sick enough of my sedentary 24x7 support lifestyle to get out there and make this change?



God, I hope so... because if I don't, I can foresee the beginnings of a downward spiral.



I'll keep you posted.

I've rated up to the ANgels... 7% total. My ratings are sooo far behind, and I'm doing my best to catch up.



Rating for me includes looking at ports and journals. I message the occasional gems whose journals show them to be artists, poets and thinkers like me.



ok. Me. Bed. Now.

I have 4 hours before work...

GAH!

A little Bit O' drama tonight, the two males in the house having a proverbial pissing contest, ruffling feathers and all that.



One hour later, I'm thankful its over. I helped mediate. I hate drama. Can't we all just get along?

EEK! I'm being STALKED!

I have my very first stalker... lol!

You know what's really great about VR? Whenever you get down and start thinking about all the bad things (see previous journal entry), all you have to do is read your profile comments for a "quick pick me up."



*recinds her prevous remarks about hating the forced rating system.*

So, as for VR ratings, I'm finally out of the numbers and off to the A's. Now there will only be the occasional 666, so it won't bother me too much. It was just, last time... I think I rated 20 666 people in a row. GAH!



Right now, I have the work blues. I badly need a vacation. VR is my only escape. Its my happy place. There are so many problems at work, and I'm the only one who supports this international application. I'm training a whelp to help me out, but he still doesn't know much yet.



Then on top of everything else, data problems, production issues, training, and a patch delivery in the works... One of the head hancho's starts a political spit fire game spreading fear at the top of the chain of stakeholders. It goes like this:



"We don't think we are being properly supported, we cannot have a one man team, we need more people, but we need you on development work... we need another person on production support, but we can't spare you to train this person."



So, I'm already training someone to help, how can I train someone if I'm not allowed to train them? THERE IS NO ONE ELSE that knows this application. There is no one else to provide training! Catch 22. Bang, bang, you're dead.



I just want a rest, just a bit of rest. About 30 days in a mental hospital doped up on thorazine would do nicely.



I have a sweet job that most people would envy. I get to work from home, set my own hours, have green hair and basically do what I want, and I make good money. The drawback is there is no growth, I'm stuck supporting this thing 24x7 and everything is, as it has always been in my life, ALL MY responsibility.



I only wish I could make the same amount of money singing for a living.... Why can't I just let go and do what I want? I know that I will survive whether I'm making $4/hr or $40/hr, I know it won't matter... WHAT am I AFRAID OF?



Its 3pm, I'm going to bed now; and right now I'm not sure if I will answer another email for work ever again. (OK, I'm sure I will, but right now I feel like I want to walk away and NEVER COME BACK!)



Rest in Agony -

-Rebekah Faith

Yes, I'm sitting here rating profiles... I hate to admit it, but this is the part of VR that I'm NOT happy with. To be forced to troll over all these pages, as an empath, is quite a bit harrowing. I pick up on emotions really easilly, and I dread clicking on a profile that shows blood, gore, anger, hatred, etc. OK in a movie... when you're in the MOOD for a scary movie, but seeing it in peoples everyday rants and thougts is something entirely different. I hate to see people stuck in their own pit of self writhing, and not even give a thought to worrying about why they came to be there in the first place.



I'm at the "6"s now. I know I'm going to sound mean, but in how many ways can you not-so-creatively make the numer 666 a part of your handle?



I'm done ranting... it will all be over in time.



I'll just say, "Meh" and leave it at that.

Yes, as much of a pacifist as I am, as much as I try to accept everyone as they are, as much as I try to forgive and love myself and others, there are just those days sometimes where I do get upset and need to vent. Right now, I think its mostly the lack of sleep that is causing me to be so touchy.



Here's the deal. I grabbed my best friend out of a shelter in California, and asked her to come and live with me to restart her life. Things were going fairly smoothly until she started getting depressed because she missed her boyfriend. (Little did I know he was only her boyfriend for three weeks before she came out to live with me. They met in the shelter in California.) Long story short, I paid for another bus ticket to get him out here to live with us as well. Four people (two couples) in a four room house.



Shortly after her man arrived, my best friend started acting real strange. Very paranoid, very angry, very depressed, venting and ranting and raving until 4am about the tragedies that happened in her past and whatever happened in the last week that she alluded to be an attack against her.



Long story short, the b/f broke up with her, she attempted suicide twice in my house, and the end result was that I needed to tell her she was not welcome back into my house until she was better. Her ex boyfriend is still living with us, and even though I helped my friend get the help she needed, she still feels that we deeply betrayed her. She feels we traded her in for her boyfriend. Our friendship is not, and probably will not ever be the same.



After she has been gone for 60 days, I am still waiting for an address to send her stuff, but she refuses to tell me where she is. I just got word that she has burned her bridges at the next place she is staying and will be moving yet again. She also hinted that she might be pregnant, but won't tell me for sure because "its none of my business, she doesn't live with me anymore."



In other news, I have no idea what to do with her boyfriend. (My other friend satiricly referred to him as the "leftovers.") This guy is driving me mad! He's the type of person that likes to read over your shoulder, go through my mail, and just take whatever he feels he wants without asking. He even took the TV card out of my b/f's computer! His logic was, "Well, it wasn't being used...."



He was helping us with the house we are fixing up in lieu of rent, but now he has a full time job and hasn't been available to help us with the house in over five weeks. I know I should set some standards around here, I know I should put my foot down, I know I should be collecting rent. Heck, I know I have a pile of dishes that needs to be done, but that doesn't matter to me right now either.



Right now, this guy is bugging me hard core. Every time he walks by I can feel his eyes stretching out over me to analyze whatever it is that I'm doing so that he can tell me what I'm doing wrong. I know he means to be helpful, but I just find it gets under my skin, in the most radiant, electric, burning way. Its hard to admit, but he gets me to the point where I almost want to punch something!



I suppose the reason I feel so strongly about his behaviour is that I can look at my reflection and see that I am the same way. I have a tendency to be helpful and suggestive. I have a tendency to offer a better way of doing things to my b/f every now and again....



Could it be that this my next life lesson?

I am completely brain dead. "Sleep Dep" -all the way. I have no idea what I am doing trolling around in here instead of sleeping.



The feeling I have right now reminds me of one day back in high school. I was threatened that if I missed the bus and missed a day of school again..... well you get the idea.



Well, I missed the bus, AGAIN. (I was never much of a morning person.) So instead of tempting the wrath of my parental unit, I decided to walk to school myself. 18 miles, 12 of which were on very dangerous highway.... (It seemed at the time that no matter what I did, I just couldn't please anyone! lol) I left on foot at 7 am, I arrived at 2:30 pm. 1/2 hour before the end of the school day.



For that last 1/2 hour, it was impossible to sit down or stand still. I spent the last 1/2 hour pacing back and forth at the back of the classroom. It was physically impossible for me to stop or be still. I was running on fumes, but I could not stop running.



That is how I feel today. I know I need to rest, but I simply cannot. The wheel stops turning when you stop the wheel. I seem to be stuck in first gear. (Or another way of putting it, "Can't sleep - clowns will eat me!") Irregardless, the client is still calling me and emailing me anyway. SO, I might as well stay up for one more hour to wind down....

I think this is the 4th all nighter I've pulled for work this week. I can't see straight anymore.

I'm so very tired.



Thinking about lots of things... my new house, wondering if the members will be as peaceful as the house portrays.... We shall see.



Thinking about how I will redesigning my profile. I kind of had the lava as a temporary background until I could get it together.... But now, I need to start working on a REAL design. One that will require I come up to speed on the CSS tags.

OH Joy and Rapture!



And how the heck did I jump from Marplot to Caitiff to Ghoul in one day? What the HUH?

Very interesting...



Oh, and it seems I'm becoming a bit of a mentor. Me, a mentor? I know I have stuff that I could teach, but I always thought of myself more as a farmer, planting seeds, checking in once in a while to see if they're doing ok. I never pictured myself as a teacher or spiritual guide....



But as Michelle said on her show today, the shamen is the wounded healer, the walker of both worlds, the dead teacher. For some reason that made my hair stand up.



I guess that's how life works. We live and we grow. One day a novice, the next a craftsman, and eventually a teacher.



Fare well....

(double entandra intended)

So, yes, its one of those days, where the computer won't work, programs are going missing, data is being difficult, the power outlet doesn't want to transfer energy... the car won't start, etc.



I wouldn't dare venture that this phenomenon could be a result of my compiled preturbation at these pesky data problems over the last few days...



Speaking of which, I still have 76 records to fix, each requires several individualized updates, and takes at least 20 minutes each. AND I have to be done in 12 hours before payroll runs.... My math may be off, but I don't think its possible!



Such has been my week; my first week on VR.



Now, I was planning on going to pitts to continue gutting my fixxer-upper house this weekend.



It would seem that someone wants me to stay in Philly this weekend. Someone who has some very powerful gods, indeed!

Ouwwwiiee! There must be a front coming in, bothering my tired, lackasleep, restless body.



Still working on that data issue....



Grrrr!



To sleep, perchance to dream... Yet I keep plugging away. Masocha-tastic!

Yes, I'm still dealing with data issues.

This is my third all-nighter in a row.

I've had three naps of three hours each.



Please, spare me this agony.

Oh gods of technology... help me out here!

I'm having a problem with bad data at work, and honestly I think it would be easier to delete all data in those tables, than to fix the all of the incorrect values.



Delete from TableName;



No where clause, Just delete.



724,156,902 records deleted!



*Sigh*



Don't I wish?

Not cool. Bad pookah! Get back to work!