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I don't know what it is that scares me so bad when I'm alseep..I didn't dream any disturbing dreams last night but at some point I woke up afraid and my heartbeat racing so fast it took me a few mins to calm down. And I was making these little sounds like someone in distress. Just little breathy sounds. I've done this before but only if I've had a nightmare.
After it was over I went back to sleep and woke up fine.

I've got a message showing that I can't view. (You have 1 Message) And if I click it..I freeze. So it's like a tease..Every time I click a page it shows. And I go to click it and a sec before I do I realize..No nope..It's booby trapped. It's already gotten me a few times. A message from a unknown sender can drive you nuts. It's like..Who sent me this message that freezes me?...What were they trying to say?....Good news or bad news? Or just Hey how are you? I may never know now...

And that is what troubles me the most.

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FALSExCURE
22:25 Aug 28 2021

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xChaosAngelx
22:28 Aug 28 2021

It gets me almost every time. So sneaky. lol

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Unable to answer or send messages. And my dashboard is also being difficult. Hopefully it'll fix on it's own later.

Lets get this straight. What I put on my kismet or in my journal is no damn concern of yours. So don't fucking question me again or I will block your ass. Understand? I can't stop you from looking...But stop fucking messaging me. You are not my keeper. or my friend for that matter. I'm nothing to you. Remember that. Go watch over someone else. Or whatever it is you're doing. This will be the last damn time I tell you to stop.

Getting closer to my Doctors appointment and it's stressing me out more and more. I dread it so damn much. ~Sighs~
I just don't like being poked and prodded. And the needles....o.0

You know when you feel you gotta do something but you just can't remember what? And it just nags at you. I know there's 101 things I need to do..But it's that 1 in the 101 that I can't remember. I bet it's important also. That's just just way my mind works. My mind has a mind of it's own and it's always undermining me. Bitch..If that makes any sense. See? Doing it again.

Time for a break.

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CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
20:52 Aug 27 2021

For me it is when I pack things to leave... I know there is always that ONE thing I am forgetting.. and I typically remember it half way to our destination!

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666SheDevil666
21:45 Aug 27 2021

It happens to me...I make a list for shopping so I do not forget what I need and I leave the house, get half way to the grocery store...yep list is still on the fridge..

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Thats it..No more journal reading for me. I have seen the other side and it scares the shit out of me. Well..I might later when I recover. Maybe. Who knows.

It's like you just CAN'T STOP!.

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IveXtastedxthexrainbow
01:51 Aug 27 2021

That woman is delusional.

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CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
01:52 Aug 27 2021

A bad train wreck!

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Theodora
02:02 Aug 27 2021

Nope, I keep looking as well. I actually said out loud to myself (which should cause me pause) "is it actually possible for someone to be that delusional?" Sometimes I think it's simply for attention. Surely, no one is THAT delusional... ok, maybe they are.

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Ok..What the hell 0.o ..Screw it it's my fault I shouldn't have looked.

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ZOMB1E
23:43 Aug 26 2021

Exactly.

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666SheDevil666
00:02 Aug 27 2021

Yep my feelings as well face palm...ugh

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CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
01:01 Aug 27 2021

Accurate!

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I know I did what was best for me. But it still bothers me to know I let someone down. He trusted me and I let him down. It's not a good feeling at all.

Oh for fucks sake...Do we all have to be included in your love life? You live with her...Turn towards her and say it. Believe me...It's not anything new...Humans have been doing it for a long time now. Are you trying to make other people believe what you're saying or maybe you're just trying to convince yourself? Well if that's the case rethink this shit. Or better yet..oh never mind. Who Cares.

Irks the hell out of me. Js.

My whole body hurts from the tip of my toes to the top of my head and everything inbetween. I really need a good nights sleep. Being tired all the time is beginning to suck. And crazy dreams are not helping a bit. I heard eating chocolate before bed makes you dream crazy dreams. Well I don't eat chocolate because it makes my head hurt. So it can't be that.
Maybe it's the coffee.

Laters.

I've no idea what is going on. Maybe I should ask. Umm maybe not. May not like the answer I receive. Might be better just to pretend that I'm not curious.

I thought I was ok with what happened. But the more I think about it the more I realize I'm not.
What you said to me was uncalled for.
So.. ~Thumps you on the nose~ There take that.
And no that did not make me feel any better.
But it helped.

I feel so sick right now. I mean gagging sick. Earlier it felt like my head was being put in a vice. I hope I'm not coming down with something.

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VampireLover27
05:34 Aug 19 2021

Hope you feel better.

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You're making me think. And that is not always a good thing. I mean one thought leads to another and before I know it I'm a mess with all these thoughts crashing around in my head.
And that My Dear makes my head hurt.

Just a Thought on Thoughts. Never good to overthink things. You always come up with very bad ideas and solutions.

Know when you see some food and think..That looks good. And then put some in your mouth and the taste is so bad you gag and spit it out while thinking...This fucking sucks.

Ack at boiled okra. It turns to slim in your mouth. o.0

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immorteb
20:57 Aug 17 2021

I can not tell you how many times I looked at okra and asked… why?! That shit is gross and i am not picky with food but that shit, needs to be banned lmao

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xChaosAngelx
21:00 Aug 17 2021

I like fried okra..So I thought I'd like boiled okra. Nope. Never again will that slim pass my lips.

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immorteb
21:04 Aug 17 2021

I liked fried okra also it why I bought a lot but one day I didn’t want to fry them so I added them to rice and long story short I ended up throwing away an entire pot of rice lol

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xChaosAngelx
21:06 Aug 17 2021

Lol...I'm going to stick with fried okra from now on.

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immorteb
21:28 Aug 17 2021

I was traumatized I just cut it out completely lol

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CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
21:38 Aug 17 2021

Pickled okra is good. Not slimy.

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xChaosAngelx
05:48 Aug 18 2021

Never tried pickled okra.

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xTheCrookedCrossx
07:47 Aug 18 2021

So, now we all know that you don't like slimy stuff in your mouth

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xChaosAngelx
08:33 Aug 18 2021

Lol who does? Eat some boiled okra and see how you like it . :)

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JohnKnox666
13:49 Aug 18 2021

I for 1 like junk food. ;)

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xTheCrookedCrossx
02:14 Aug 20 2021

Oh, you meant okra! Sorry, lil slow here lol

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xChaosAngelx
02:17 Aug 20 2021

Lol..Yeah try some.

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Sometimes you just want to turn up the music and drown out the world. And lose yourself in a way that it'll take forever to find yourself again.

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immorteb
18:55 Aug 17 2021

That is the best form of therapy… music

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I've been having such harsh and violent dreams lately. And weird ones. The other night I had a dream that I was sitting at my kitchen table and this girl I've never seen before climbs on top of it and lays down in front of me. I kept trying to push her away from me and every time I touched her I said..I'm sorry. Then I'd push her again and she would just lay there. I don't think she was dead just sleeping.
And last night I dreamed that I was somewhere I've never been before and all these people kept kissing my forehead and stroking my cheek like I was a little girl. But then this guy grabs my hair and slams my face into the floor. I guess I went off into another dream because that's all I remember of that one.
Some nights I don't dream at all. I really prefer those nights.

When you let troublemakers into your relationship then it's screwed. And the keyword here is TROUBLEMAKERS. And why do people keep falling for it? Get smart and fucking block them.

Do not assume this post is about you. If you do then you are a Dumbass.

Tyvm.

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CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
22:08 Aug 16 2021

There are plenty of those here.

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Mondays suck. Woke up this morning to a busted pipe. So we had no water for most of the morning. But they are fixed now and mondays still suck.

Me+No coffee= Mondays fucking suck.

(hours later)
But here I sit with my yummy cup of steaming coffee and I am at peace with the world. ~Sighs and smiles~

I didn't sleep well last night. Tossed and turned for the most part and today I feel crappy. I just want to go back to bed but I can't because I have things I need to do. My head hurts and coffee is not working and that sucks. Hell my whole body hurts.

I don't know if I want to even try anymore.

I don't want to get angry or do anything I'll regret but this is really starting to piss me off. It's uncalled for and rude. And you have never been this way. I'm tired and I'm ready to say fuck it all. Don't force me to do something We'll both regret.