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hey everyone..

well, i told myself i would only write in this thing when i was either troubled, angry, in one of "my moods" or when something good happened. well, i had an apifony (i can't spell worth a shit) ok. to understand what i am going to write, you must understand that from the life i come from and the negative influences and fuckin jerk-off's in my life i have learned to feel pure hate, pure emotions. raw, none of that half-assed shit. yeah. to the point..



i had just gotten done fighting with my dad. you know, usuall threats of detention centers, (etc..) and i was so mad i left the house and went into our garage and broke this one head statue of a dead presedent (i don't know who the fuck it was.) and when i was done, i still felt that hate, that raw, pulsing, dangerously intensive hate. so i broke something else. flattened some tires, and when i was done, i still felt hate. but then i realized, no matter what i do, i am allways going to feel this way, allways going to have to deal with my rage and i will never be free of that emotion.. so the conclusion i came to is this, it's not trying to get rid of the emotion that makes it easier to have, it is accepting it as you. and by accepting your flaws, well.. you don't feel as lost or empty because you have not rid yourself of that part of you.



yeah.. i have had alot of these and will put them up as they go on.. or if you would like to hear more, let me know. i have loads of deep and intense topics...