Fitness goal is nearly complete. I've been kicking my own ass in the best of ways. Feeling really positive on that front and will be comfortably posting selfies again in no time, heh.
At the VA earlier in the week I had a panic attack. I had waited for this particular appointment for MONTHS. I'd called the Veterans Crisis Hotline over the summer and that was as soon as I could be seen, Pretty crazy, right? Well, they didn't call me back until I only had 15 min left of the appt before the doctor's next one was to begin, so I could not be seen.
I was already super anxious to be there talking about things, and this was years in the making. To have it shutdown on me sent me into a tailspin. They put me in another room and a social worker spoke to me for a while, then another doctor came in to talk to me about things. That doctor asked me how I coped with my anxiety at home. I told her I got a dog in the hopes to train him as a service dog, but I don't have the knowledge or means to make it happen. She then connected to me to an organization here in the NOLA metro area that trains veteran's service dogs for FREE- and how they do it is by incorporating *you*... and in the end, your dog is a certified service dog, and you are a certified dog trainer! So... this is a really exciting thing. Not only will I have a service dog- but I will be qualified to train others. Maybe in the future do it as a job- who knows, but I'll be able to :)
I am glad something good was able to come from what started as such as horrible experience! This is really exciting and wonderful news! A new adventure!
Very good outcome! Shitty they did you like that but not surprised its the VA. Wishing you the best love.
It’s a full moon tonight. I hope to manifest everything I need for my well-being: physical and mental health, safety and security. I can feel the truth of it.
I've started another journey - weight lifting.
Affording a gym membership didn't seem like it was going to be in the cards, but did you know Planet Fitness memberships start at $10 a month and top out at $25 a month??? At least, that's what my local gym offers. DUDE... this is happening. For my physical health, for my MENTAL HEALTH. Long distance walking is one thing, but being in a gym having a COMMUNITY with a trainer (no extra cost)- it's just something that must be done. I met with the trainer a couple days ago and this is now another part of my routine.
No one will ever be able to say I didn't do everything in my power to be happy and healthy in this world. I am hoping for the best. I am trying my damndest to do things that keep me feeling positive and not give me time to fall into the dark abyss of depression.
*Getting actual medical help
*Building my brain - Spanish class online
*Being creative - drawing
My mental health care is now being managed by the VA. I was unsure of seeking them out, because I don't want to end up with some big bill from them as I am not currently rated for this specific thing with my VA disability- but it seems like it's going to be okay, just a manageable copay.
I explained my horrible experience with my civilian provider and all the meds they had me on that screwed me up far worse... now it *seems* like things are going or be better, The VA facility here in New Orleans is actually quite beautiful and clean inside, and the doctor who saw me really seemed to care. Even the desk clerks were overly wonderful albeit not disingenuous. I'm feeling hopeful.
I think it's time to "Marie Kondo" all that I own again. I did it a few years ago, then a little over a year ago we were forced to move into another unit due to hurricane damage... purged a bunch then too. But since I have lived here, I spent most of the year in a very bad mental health space. There are still things I haven't even unpacked. I want to again go through all my crap and throw stuff away... throw it away as if I were being forced to move again and didn't want to take things into my future.
I did that a few years ago, it's good to get rid of things no longer useful.
It's kind of like a fresh start.
New time in your life.
I have been working on doing this as well... It's a slow process with me at the moment, but better a slow process than to not do it at all.
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