A good amount of study, now for a break with some “Mindhunter” on Netflix. Need to finish season 2 :)
You know how sometimes a little kid will start screaming “Stop touching me!” to get another kid in trouble who is clear across the room not even doing anything? Yeah... grown-ups will pull that stuff too. Be mindful. Let people deal with their own stuff instead of falling in traps with they’re fishing for sympathy when not a damn thing is going on. Be there for your friends of course- but don’t wear blinders. Some people’s friends aren’t what they are cracked up to be.
I've never been big on sticking up for "friends" here. If they can't handle their own crap, I don't want them as friends anyway. I have very little sympathy.
Oh how I wish I was an artist! I would love to create an image for my Tarot journey as “Panda Fortune”. I put together something to take a photo of for my Facebook cover- when I can find other unique things I’ll probably have to take a photo of that for my profile picture on various social media platforms. It’s the best I can do with no real artistic skills.
If you don't have a Netflix account and are interested in 30 days free (that you can cancel before it's over to not pay if you don't like it or can't afford it)- you can use this link: www.netflix.com/us/n/3G9CJHQZ-1
I have gotten a slew of free trials to certain things because I can't afford subscriptions all the time, so I want to be sure I hook people up if they are also looking for the same. If anyone has a free trial for Ancestry, feel free to hook me up as well, heh.
Remember you need a debit or credit card even for a free trial.
I know that- but it won't be charged if you cancel before the 30 days is up. I know because I play this free trial game all the time with different things LOL... it's how broke people are living life everyday.
I know! I'm just letting people know.
When i didn't have a card i got sad.
Just enter it start the trial, and then the next day remove it.
I wounder if it words for the walmart prepaid ones?
I've used reloaded debit cards that had ZERO loaded on them and it's worked.
I'm thinkin' it's another pancakes night.
WHAT KIND OF PANCAKES
Can we make requests? Because I could totally go for some blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes.
I wish I could have made different kinds... but I only had the ingredients for good old regular ones.
Cat....our inside joke....pancakes....baha
In the darkest recesses of hearts, people love train wrecks. And it could wreck, but they would just need another wreck. A continual wreckage. Because that is what fuels them. It’s very much like Munchausen syndrome by proxy- but instead of hurting a child, they keep inventing problems so people will pity and rally around them. This is probably a major self-esteem issue thing, amongst whatever other mental illnesses I’m not qualified to diagnose.
People need to get help. It’s not fair to bring other people down to further your personal agenda.
Don’t assume you know what I’m talking about. It might be aimed in a completely different direction.
Don’t get involved in people’s drama. People lie. You’ll end up with pie on your face. And not the good kind.
This is so true!!! I even advised some friends to stay out of the drama because when the two make up you will then become the target. This has rung true so many times. Let the two just battle it out and let it be thier drama not yours.
I get overwhelmed with anxiety on a personal note. It affects me physically. I have a hard time compartmentalizing. Tonight I am pouring all of my focus into something and I hope a little "Thoughts are Things" mind magic will do the trick.
Wifey is the same way. I guess I take compartmentalizing for granted.
For months I struggled with why and how someone can think something into dust particles and then think on the remnants of those particles.
I found that I need someone like that in my life. Ying to my yang.
I am the same way. I suffer from anxiety especially when I look at everything I have to do. If I don't compartmentalize, I am virtually debilitated. I completely understand!
Liliancat is the same way. She will start stressing out over something she does not have to do till next week. I keep telling her stay in the here and now and only focus on what you can do now and let everthing else go but... she keeps stressing. Not sure how to help her. I am not like that at all so yeah guess she is my ying and I am her yang.
To keep my anxiety in check, I must create a “to do list” for the day. I use notes on my phone
My son and I have an incredible relationship.
We can count on each other.
We are loyal to each other.
We respect each other.
We are proud of each other.
Our bond is sacred.
I can’t imagine, not even for a second, the idea of humiliating him or hurting him. He is my child no matter how old he is. He is the greatest person I know and I love and value him to a degree that intentionally being negative toward him is unfathomable to me.
Even though he lives in the dorm- I text him good night and we say “I love you” every single day. If anything happens to me- he will never doubt how much I care about him.
My own mother was/is abusive in many ways and we have not spoken in over a decade. I don’t regret locking her out due to the depths of abuse there- but if you have a familial scenario of merely shallow disagreements, try to imagine how you’d feel if your child or parent were to be killed instantly without the ability of being able to talk those things through. Would having your last words of hate be something you could easily live with? Hey... I realize some of you could. We don’t all think the same way. Not everyone knows how to love in a healthy way. I just feel really bad for people who choose to forsake such treasures for trivial moments in time.
My mom and I don't always see eye to eye, but there is always love there, even in our disagreements. She's such an amazing woman. I don't know what I'll do when that eventual day comes where she won't be here anymore. It's going to break me.
Looking around and seeing the petty arguments and the names and the attitudes taken by some, it makes me sad. To threat your parent or your child in such a way, to be so public about things, to throw around such insults and horrible words... I don't get it at all. Yeah, I've said things about my family situation, but nothing slanderous, nothing spiteful and said just to hurt someone. Not all, families get along, and if that's the case, so be it. But there is never any good reason to publically bash your monther/father/sister/brother/daughter/son. No reason at all.
My mother and I have a... Different kind of relationship. Different than I'd like it to be. I'd like to have trust and be able to relax but that's not really in the cards when it comes to her and I have been working to accept it. There are times I get really frustrated with her. She has hurt me very badly in the past and now it's important for me to use boundaries to make sure I stay safe and sane.
That being said, I would never disrespect her. If someone, especially my spouse, decided to start shit with her, I would toss his loser ass out on the street faster than he could blink. I have no room for that trashy shit in my life. Yes, it's trashy. Beyond trashy and I don't think we owe it to anyone to dress it up as otherwise.
I am clearly not the best one to say this given my lack of family ( though I consider my droogs family in a certain way.) I would say this, if you really have something you need to say and unburden yourself with, then say it to that person. Whether you hate them or love them, it is probably best to unload because once they are pushing up daisies, you are going to have to carry what inside you for the rest of your life. Regretting is not a good way to live.
Still working on my gifts to myself... birthday projects of self-improvement. Just part of what helps temper the negative. I’m not as far as I’d liked to have been at this point with one of the projects, but that’s only because I’m trying not to rush it. I have been diligently at it though, daily.
But for a break- walking and listening to music. Free therapy! Off to get some.
I really don’t feel like going through all the journal entries I’ve posted since I made my name change, so I’ll just beat a dead horse again about me coming back to the cards. When I used to read all those years ago, I wasn’t giving readings for other people. I only read for myself. After all this time has passed with my stuff packed in boxes, taking them out and reading my materials again and absorbing all that I have from other major readers in the Tarot community- I feel like I’ve been able to devour the knowledge in a way I never would have been able to as a younger person. One being already given myself that foundation long ago, and two being life experience coupled with the evolution of Tarot understanding since I was in my early 20s.
I am still, only giving readings for myself. I have reached the point that I am open to reading for others, but I still feel that could be years down the road. At the same time, it could be months away. It’s not something I can predict, unless I use the cards, LOL- but no... I don’t want to put any pressure on my comfort zone. It’s enough for me to use them for myself. I actually *can* imagine myself opening up an online shop for readings. I would provide a video of the reading, and/or a picture of the spread with a detailed report on their interpretation. But before I got to that, I would give a lot of free readings for testimonials as well as jolly good practice. So when that time comes… I will reach out to people or even advertise in my journal the free readings. That’s an idea- or I may not do the free readings here. I may only do it for those in the Tarot groups I belong to on Facebook.
I’m learning a lot about how people are providing readings over the Internet. I want to give a solid, quality delivery. Hasty isn’t the way to go. So the timeline is up in the air until it isn’t.
I have connected with a veritable “who’s who” of the Tarot community online. I’m having conversations with the best. Creators of massively popular decks are in my circle- and they interact. When I am serious about something, I seek from the highest. When I’m ready, I’ll be offering something worthy because I’m putting in the work.
*****My husband has ordered me a deck for my birthday next month and it’s being shipped from Poland on Friday!!!!!*****
I do not want to keep beating a dead horse... but thank you for all the help you have given me to learn and take this journey. It has enabled me to become a better person and to improve myself on a daily basis. It is now a part of my morning meditation routine after I smudge and do my prayers to Creator and cleanse I know do a daily reading for myself. I have become aware of things I need to work on personally. People close to me have started to notice positve changes and I am seeing how it has a trinkle down affect. I am becoming a better son, a better brother, a better friend, a better employee, a better boss at work and so on. Still looking forward to your YT channel when you are ready for it how ever long it takes.
It's nice to get out of bed and come down to laundry already being done... I stayed up late and did it so I could relax today. Gotta finish watching the last 3 episodes of Yellowstone and get back to studying :)
AC is broken - has been all week. Started on Monday- but was at least at a point where I could turn it off for a while, then turn it back on later to work for the rest of the day. Then... no more as of today. I put in a work order about 8PM, so hopefully maintenance be here in the morning to fix it. It’s going to be a rough night in this heat.
Ugh. That is the worst. I hate being hot. Hope someone came this morning!
Thanks- they’ve been here and just waiting for it to unfreeze and then put more Freon in.
Two more shelves to tackle with dusting. When you have shelves that are utterly packed, it takes a long time to get it all clean. I take everything off individually and wipe them down, then wipe all the shelves, then put it all back in there again. What a pain. One of these days I’ll go through all of my shelves and see if there’s anything I can deal with getting rid of. The old Marie Kondo thing… I’ve done a bunch of that already, but, maybe I could use a little bit of it with the shelves as well.
I imagined going after these shelves with compressed air, then chocking from the dust flying into my face LOL
My home seems to be a Dust Magnet, but then again it is a valley that started out in 1873 being used for its meadows to feed 7,000 sheep...... lol
Oh me... nice typo up there as usual: *choking*.
Pretty proud of all the things I have accomplished around the house this week being alone here. It’s easy to do when you can start/stop/start/stop, and watch whatever you want to watch on TV during those downtimes LOL… When other people are here you can’t just make them stop what they’re doing for you to be able to do whatever you wanna do in that moment. In living with a chronic illness, just having the day time to myself isn’t enough to accomplish the things that I need to do. If my husband is going to be on business trips more often, it’s actually going to be helpful for me in this regard. It’s like doing a “Spring cleaning” every month or two. When you have a couple of cats, you really need to do a deep cleaning more often than most households. Cat hair just flies around. They are worth it in spades, but… It’s just the way it is.
My son is at this amazing online journalism conference this week. He just called me to tell me about all the awesome free loot they were given. Earlier this week he declared a second major- so now he’s on track for Bachelor’s degrees in English (Writing) and Mass Communications (Visual Communications). He graduated high school with so many college credits from AP courses and whanot, that he already had a semester of college completed when he started college. And he’s been taking seven classes at a time. Being on an ROTC scholarship, he’s required to carry a full class load- so with all the credits he’s acquired, if he didn’t go for two degrees, he’d be overloading the schedule with random electives just to appease the requirement.
I’m so excited for him! He says there aren’t many college students at the conference- just a bunch “real deal” working journalists. It sounds like such a neat conference, I wish I was there :)
So he is going io be a journalist? He will be amazing.
Yes, He’s been working for his university paper since last year. He’s currently the webmaster and the Life and Times editor. This is his review in the paper for the Queen concert we attended: https://www.loyolamaroon.com/10023394/life-times/review-queenadam-lambert-are-the-champions/
Ann (Sahahria) was the greatest friend a person could have. Loyalty was a given, you never doubted her friendship. She was a clear communicator, and she truly gave a shit about how her friends felt. We’d gotten in one heated disagreement, but I still knew she was my friend. I never had to worry about her doing things behind my back. And this isn’t to say that I don’t think she wouldn’t have gone to a mutual friend of ours and talk about the argument we had… Because that’s human and valid, but she was still my friend. Now more than ever do I think about those incredible 10 years of friendship with her and realize it’s probably never going to happen again. I never did not appreciate her. I always knew she was golden. Type A to the max personality and all.
Friends like that are hard to come by.
Be yourself. Be authentically yourself. Don’t fall into scenarios where you change who you are because of someone you’re fascinated with. I’m not talking about quitting cigarettes and crap people really should change.
A friend of mine as a teen used to do that. She was a chameleon to those she liked. She never had her own personality. And when those things end... who is left behind as you’ve turned your back on people you should have be paying attention to?
People get a warped sense of “finding new aspects to themselves” and supposed “growth” and “awakening” instead of accepting what’s actually going on is they’re giving up their integrity.
This kind of excitement is temporary. And... at what cost?
This is the path of the weakest of the weakest. Easy prey. But guess what? Learning how to be your own strong person is a real thing too. Learning to appreciate what you have is a real thing. It comes too late to salvage in a lot of scenarios- but at least people can learn to start making things count from there forward and not ensuring the same shitty cycle.
A lot of people grew up weird and don't fit into societal norms too much, so being themselves is not living their full life.
Fake it till you make it!
Vast majority of people don't know who they are. Rich people are too busy being rich and poor people are too busy surviving day to day. It took the better part of my 20s and some really do or die, life altering situations to look inside myself and see what I stand for. And now that I'm in my 30s, I'm only now starting to put those beliefs in practice as much as possible.
Most people I know are fake af. Most of what we consume from media to food is artificial. It's a quick cop out, an easy high. If you don't realize how detrimental it all is in the long run, which most people don't, you go for it.
Of course. I have a friend who changes his religion as often as underwear changes… That is some seriously strange stuff to me. Something that is supposed to be so serious of an identity as a belief system should not be taken and trashed so lightly on a constant basis. I think if you’re going to believe in a lot of things, then maybe you shouldn’t label yourself at all… And then just be eclectic. And on the religion and belief system front, I don’t think people should become those things just because they want to fit in with someone else either.
It is true people can be passionately interested in something because another person introduced them to it… But that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean people who are just in it to impress someone else.
I knew a girl who changed her voice to an old grouchy lady voice whenever she answered a number she didn't know. Beautiful young, accomplish woman. I asked her why she did that and she couldn't really answer. For some, it's less of a choice and more of a deep rooted complex stemming from hard insecurities.
I make the rules in this house, and that’s it… I’m having cereal and watching more Carnival Row!
I just started watching that last night. Cracker barrel Mac N cheese here :)
Wendy says that's a good show, gonna have to check it out.
Did you watch The Originals | Netflix? if not, is set in new Orleans.
I watched it for a while when it was still on TV, but I was so wrapped up in things I was doing that I couldn’t keep up with weekly television shows. I’ll probably get back to it and binge on Netflix eventually.
“There is a right way to live and a wrong way to live. There's no sense in doing things the wrong way. You'll just prolong your time here. Do things correctly. Do not lie. Do not steal. Do not be a wretch. Live well or spend an eternity reincarnating in this earthly Hell.“ That’s on Cancer’s profile. More people should pay attention to those words.
Shit, zombies are too wretchy? LOL!
Yep. I still agree with Zombie though about the mark of shame when Cancer actually hands it out...Its going to be interesting for sure.
I think that their are people, that do not know how to not live in the hell of their own making and that they thrive there.
That is definitely true.
Yes it is. I chose not to live there though lol
DC Comic’s “Two-Face” character. An avatar several people here could use. It’s such a prominent trait that a number of you will be thinking this entry is about you... and that’s the unfortunate state of things on Vampire Rave. The most common topics of conversation on this site are people’s personal disputes. Not the occult. Not vampires. And dammit…… I’m hoping that can change. Time to watch some Carnival Row.
Made a big pan of food- and since no one else is here... I guess I’ll be eating the same thing all week, heh.
I have my ‘to do’ list at the ready, and I’d love to have most of it accomplished today. We will see how that works out though- being able to just crash at any moment without interruption also sounds like a solid plan.
Okay, what was the pan of food?
It’s a chicken pasta bake. Saw the recipe on Facebook so gave it a whirl. Super simple.
Place 1 lb cooked pasta in an oiled baking pan, cover with cubed deboned rotisserie chicken, pour sauce over (made from 2 cans of cream of chicken soup, 1 cup of chicken broth, 8 oz of Velveeta, 1 pack of ranch seasoning, salt/pepper to taste and cook to combine, smooth, melt down Velveeta), cover with 2 cups of shredded cheddar and bake at 350F for 30 minutes.
It also included ‘Bac’n bits’... but I don’t use those fake things. Enough sodium in this as it is.
So, I’m not unique in loving pandas- but pandas and I are always synonymous because of a stupid thing I’m known to say in my home.
If you are old enough to remember the old Little Caesar’s Pizza commercial the little animated Roman would Day, “Pizza! Pizza!” For whatever reason I started, one day with much love for pandas, saying “Panda! Panda!” randomly here and there. It’s just one of those immediate family member things 😂 My name is labeled in my son’s phone as “Mom’s 🐼🐼”. In World of Warcraft- I created two Panderan toons and am known to often say, “White Tigah watch over you!”- a common quote from NPCs in game.
So here we go- the perfect early birthday present from my son 😊
I love panda
Bet you adore the Kungfu Panda movies too! Lol. Panda's are cute.
Nothing against my family... but I sure am looking forward to being alone next week. Just fending for myself, not sharing, hogging the cats on my lap only, and feeling free to spend too much time doing anything one thing I please.
I am very domestic at home. Not because anyone forces me, but because it’s just my nature to cook, clean, serve things up, fix anything that needs it, and more. Part of it is a control thing, I am sure. I’d like to know where everything is, I like to know things really are clean LOL, I prefer the way I cook over other people most of the time (ha ha ha), and stuff like that. But I really do have a selfless nature that wants me to ‘mother’ and all. There’s really nothing I can do about my involuntary character in that regard… But I do wear myself out, so I am going to enjoy just taking care of myself for a little bit.
What’s really funny about all this… Just as I type all that out, I know that I have a list of things that I want to do while there’s no one here in the house that consist of cleaning and other projects around the home that are still... taking care of everybody else.
Got a couple birthday presents ordered- one from my husband, and one from my son. You guys can probably guess what the stuff is... if you've been paying attention to me here for the last few months :P The one from my son comes on Sunday- and the one from my husband will ship out after September 20, from out of the country. They'll both be really early birthday presents though. When the day comes, I just want to hang out as a family and watch movies/play games at home.
Snapchat is so incredibly *not* user-intuitive. Really, I have an account there to follow my son's posts because it's his main mode of social media usage. I have had my account for years and I think I have posted 5 times at most. Anyhow- the stories page is always filled with things I don't care about- as well as stills of things that make me twitch. I am a very visual person, I don't like seeing images of injuries or people getting hurt. And I don't give a rat's about the latest Kardashian news- so Snapchat sucks in that regard. I've customized my account many times, and the same stupid stuff keeps coming back around in the feed.
Is this your way of saying you want me to include you on the list of people I send my snapchats to?
Really think about what answer you're going to give because my snapchats are known for their pure unbridled stupidity.
That’s what I need!
I have never used snapchat .... in fact I don't have facebook or twitter. I just stick with Instagram. I find it easier to use. You see what you want to see.
Instagram really is probably the best no-nonsense of social media. Yep.
Since I've been back from vacation- I have talked a lot about getting back out and walking, but tonight was the first night I actually did it. I went out there and got 5 miles in before midnight my time. My son called me while I was out there to talk to me about his joining the Tulane University Orchestra. I'm really excited for him, but man... he has really got an over-flowing plate right now. It was great listening to him be so excited about it over the call though :) Looking forward to spending some time with him this weekend.
My husband is off to Minneapolis next week on a work trip, so with Cristo living in the dorm... I'll be solo Monday-Friday. I'm going to enjoy the time, really. Just me and the cats!
LMAO! Yup ... me too!
Getting started on one of my birthday present projects for myself tonight. When October 19 gets here- I’ll reveal what I’ve been up to and if I was successful in completing it or not. If successful, I’ll reward myself with 2 books. It’ll make sense on October 19! I haven’t mentioned anything about this particular topic on Vampire Rave before.
I will be working on my Tarot Member Page (or Member Article- haven't decided where to put it yet).
If you have any basic questions you would like me to address with it- let me know in the comments. Questions about the history, types, things like that. It's not necessarily going to be a "how to", although there will be simple explanations in how it works. If I choose your question idea and I don't know the answer, I'll research it. One of the things I love about creating these pages is that it turns into an assignment, and I always learn more. I'm far from an expert- it's just something I'm really into.
Also, guess what I had today?
Many of you may already know about this site- but for those who don't, I think this a great resource in looking for really cool and free transparent .png images for your pages and profiles here: IMGBIN. Search the categories- vampire, witch, warlock, zombie, magic... whatever... some are cutesy, others more serious. If you keep scouring the pages of your particular search, you'll probably find things you like ;)
A friend of mine who was one of my son’s Marine instructors from military school is getting me this. Can’t tell you how much I love it :) I don’t talk about cats all the time on VR but I LOVE cats and I LOVE Mexican culture and all things Day of the Dead :)
Oh, so beautiful!
It’s September 1... my birthday is NEXT MONTH. I will be 46 years old, and there’s no fear in it at all. Still feels damn young to me. I’m ready for it. I hope it’ll be a great day on October 19th. I’m going to do what I need to, to be sure of it.
Plans to make sure of it? Goal to accomplish things in these just under 7 weeks- learn new stuff that will enhance my life, be mindful of getting those daily steps each day. Getting back into Duolingo and other supporting materials is the major thing.
These things will be a birthday gift to myself.
my birthday is october 3rd i will be 45 yay me lol
You’re not old until they bury you in the ground. ;)
That’s what my 108 year old great great gran use to tell me. She finally became “old” at 115. Took care of herself till her last breath. Amazing woman. Strong and stubborn as an ox. Lol
Let the countdown begin :)
WOOT WOOT WOOT!!!!! :)
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00:51 Oct 01 2019
oooo you should tell us how good it is after you finish the session ! Oh Please!.~Reaper
-Bounces up an down with my cloak all excited.-