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DarvyOWolf's Journal


DarvyOWolf's Journal

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8 entries this month
 

Dear Rossin 9/30/21

10:24 Sep 30 2021
Times Read: 68


you know I love you ..right?
I'm sorry I couldn't write you a note we had an outage here
I know I could have written you on my phone but ...not the same and the mistakes
even lo-fi girl was out..
I just went to sleep
or tried to
lately, oh for about a week now every time I exhale I taste the burning taste of chain-smoking
yeah it's been 10 years since my last one
but i wonder how bad off I am
i was so tired last night that I just had lo-fi on for a minute or two and leaned back and had a vision of you pouncing on me
you came in and straddled me and laid your head on my chest and I woke up....sad but... then I tried to write you and that's when everything stopped
maybe we saw each other in the dream world
i remember colors like white and dark brown-black and people but no words I mean no dialog or at least none that I can remember
then I woke up it was 5 am rolled over, slept until 9 then 10 then 1130 then 1145 each time .. I dreamed of things but don't know where or what or who ....lost? yup so am i
but you love me and that's all that matters
Sandy said we remind her of the story of the sun and moon they chase each other and once a year they get to hold each other...the Eclipse
sounds about right eh?
or the moth trying to fly to the moon?
I know you have work to get finished so I will leave you to it
a warm pot of stew in the crock and fresh-baked bread waiting for you and the kettle will be on when you get home
I love you more than life
forever yours
Dew


COMMENTS

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Dear Rossin 9/28/21

12:14 Sep 28 2021
Times Read: 79


My love
I am so tired this night Rose
I hardly slept .seems like just as I drift off I wake up and then
look to the clock roll over and sleep three hours later wake up again
I'm going to have to change my eating habits and cut out the jun and sweets
it's a horror show this age
everything is falling apart or hurts
I know ..stop whining
the best part is writing to you
sometimes I can feel you here with me
would be nice...I know someday
this one is going to be a short one
but I will make it up to you I promise
love forevermore
Dew


COMMENTS

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Dear Rossin 9/26/21

06:10 Sep 27 2021
Times Read: 98


My Sweetest Dream,
I hope you were able to relax some this weekend
I cooked a bit paid bills and also paid on your Martin 12 string ..money is tight as you know so I wasn't able to pay it off and bring it home
Sorry
Sunday dinner was crockpot ribs with onion green peppers and beans and rice
i dished the whole mess up on a tortilla with a second one under it to catch the fallout
thus making another one
It's been raining here off and on today and what an awesome Sunday it was ..would have been even better with you .however it is what it is Right?
I know ...I know time is a bitch and we have to play the cards we are dealt but....we have our dreams ...and what dreams they are lol
spent the day doing normal things like laundry saw a film you know the one ...dark shadows
yeah started harry potter and the philosopher's stone but shut it off
turned on music and then came here to write you
this is more important than a movie
with the music, I can focus on you and see you
the mind's eye is like a crystal ball
if used properly you can go places where dreams are made
Halloween is almost here
I'm so excited
but it's not the same here there is no pungent smell of the dried maple and oak leaves there is no chill in the air
it's all dried up sand and not beach sand no it's fine dirt that gets everywhere
yeah I think I've acquired a pet cricket that is if the cat hasn't ate it
I heard the Asian culture thinks it is good luck to have a cricket in your home
I am also trying to find an Asian Goodluck cat the one with the paw waving at you? We need all the help we can get
hope the year of the tiger will be way better
I mean I love to work but I am so tired
what can you do lol
I can't stand sitting around day after day doing nothing and rotting
I don't know how people do that and I don't wish to find out
I feel the need to be productive and EARN my way
which is odd because when I was young and living in Michigan where there were no jobs...I was a welfare rat just like them
but since 1992 after I moved and separated myself from those kinds of people I've worked and in some cases I've worked to support others like 12 others who didn't work
but like you always say that's past its set in stone and stones need to be buried never again to see the light of day
I can't remember my dreams so I don't write them down
I can't remember the "Feeling" of them either
maybe it's a good thing?
I don't know
I spent Saturday night watching Nana and attack on titan
It's been years since I was interested in watching that story
but they say the series is coming to an end so...
I will leave you with a poem
in my dream, I shall walk the path to the softly lighted windows and open the door to my home where she sits waiting patiently and greets me with a warm smile..her hand soft as a rose petal reaches to touch my face and I awaken ...
You are the words I speak the song in my heart the joy I find in the simplest things
you are my all
I love you Rose
Good night
Your Dew


COMMENTS

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Dear Rossin 09/25/21

09:49 Sep 25 2021
Times Read: 115


My Dearest Rose
I love you more than I could ever Express with the spoken word alone
traveling in my mind's eye I walk through the door of our home and you catch me and pull me close
no words are said, but who needs words , right?
the fire in your sapphire eyes and the warm smile tells me volumes.
Only to be accented with a kiss hello. I long to hear your voice tell me of wondrous things in your magical day
Other men may think this is boring .but to me your words are like a story heard for the first time and I savor each syllable.
the sound and lilt of your voice is like a sweet fall rain tapping on the bay windows overlooking the backyard
though our furbabies want my attention and yes the cats can be quite demanding I agree .but non of this matter at this moment
I sit and take off my boots hang up my jacket and go sit in my chair as you bring me a hot cuppa
our cider is the best ever made
and your kids are amazing
they work so hard and I am so proud of them
I still can't believe how well we hit it off those years ago
and the bond is still strong
or so I would hope
I love them more than my own daughter
this is the family I've always dreamed of the life as well
I guess you do have to go through hell itself so you can appreciate the good things life has
in my dreams, I never have to say goodbye
and in reality, we must endure
each day we somehow get through it
I look forward to telling you how my day went and sometimes I like to spin a web of silver and glittery gossamer and let your mind be pulled into a story
I know you would enjoy them
sometimes I choke up and my eyes "Sweat" a bit ..just to think you love me and allow me to be me and never once tried to mold me into someone I am not
I love the way you encourage me to write and coach me on things
remember I still don't know how to hang a participle
I love you so much

I know you have papers and what not to grade so...
I will let you get back to the drudgery
you are my whole
my spirit lives in your smile my heart beats with yours
when you inhale I exhale this same breath
forever yours
Dew


COMMENTS

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Dear Rossin 09/24/21

08:59 Sep 24 2021
Times Read: 129


My Dearest life, my love my all
How are you, Rose,?
almost Friday (well it will be when you get this)
I hope you are having a beautiful morning with Lo-Fi girl playing and a hot cuppa
I am listening right now and when I close my eyes
I can see your smile
your eyes disappear into cheeks dusted in copper freckles
your 54 years old and still look so young and beautiful like the first time I met you
you had your hair tied back but one coppery wavy strand managed to escape
I was making a delivery and was lost Grub hub paid my bills then and with the pandemic, I felt like I was doing something bigger than myself
you even thanked me for my service
it made me feel like a hero
then pointed me in the right direction but not with out learning my name and number
you winked and said you could use a delivery man
and like a dunce I actually thought me picking up and dropping of documents or something
the first time I got to see you play was at the black sheep cafe
I called it a night and went in. it was bout 10 pm restaurants were winding down so I stopped off for a cup and see what's happening and who should be on the stage but you
I didn't recognize you at first your hair was down and you were dressed differently
but the music coming from that piano had me mesmerized
ol' Herby had nothing on you that night
you had my mind wandering to places I only dream of
you're an amazing woman Rose
I love you to the moon and beyond the stars
forever your biggest fan
Dew


COMMENTS

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Dear Rossin

10:16 Sep 23 2021
Times Read: 142


Dear Rose,
My Dearest Love
My light and heart
I am getting better at "Things"
Trying to maintain focus instead of letting my mind wander to stupid things that I can neither control nor should ever want to
the history is written in stone, and some stones should be buried
in a deep crevasse...never to have light shed upon them again
how many times should I re-live things that embarrassed or hurt me
EXACTLY
Switching topic gears or whatnot
the abstract painting i think i want to do is in colors of black sky blue terracotta and white...you'll get it when you see it
i still have the Gnome to work on
God I've had him for a year and only painted his hat and boots
something about this house ...it kills my creativity
not to mention Fank the ghost and previous owner and the current owner both stop me while i'm trying to improve my life
I cant come "Home "to you while in this condition
i have to be well enough..It just wouldn't be fair
i want a normal life
and right now things are not normal
thanks for loving me the way you do
I feel it every day
it's what gets me up and out of the door every day
I love you so much Rose
I know you know that I know you know and I also know that you know I can feel you in my sleep
I love you to the moon Rose Ann and beyond the stars
Forever Yours
Dew


COMMENTS

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XbluesandX
XbluesandX
15:24 Sep 24 2021

This reminds me of the love story between the sun and the moon. Sometimes, I think of the sun and the moon as lovers who rarely meet, always chase, and almost always miss one another. But once in a while, they do catch up, and they kiss, and the world stares in awe of their eclipse





 

Dear Rossin

09:02 Sep 22 2021
Times Read: 161


My Dearest Rose,
I am so tired lately
I'm tired of fighting my head
trying to re-write my past or invent things that didn't happen and i tell myself to shut up
and it didn't happen or it didn't happen this way and you know it
how do I stop this?
how do you keep staying with me
ok you are not really here but in my mind's eye and in my dreams you are
maybe in this life, we will never see each other ever
maybe I am doomed to be poor and live as a vagabond
sometimes Rose I just wish to go someplace where the seasons change and find a cave and hide until death fetches me
some days iI wish death would take me now
I mean do you blame me?
look at the world in which we live
and it's only going to get worse Rose
I think I will start painting again
I found on the internet this site called youtube and there is a french girl named lofi girl her music helps and when I listen I want to create things
like flags so to speak so you might see them.
maybe I could do abstract, sometimes I think colors just catch people, you know?
how are your Classes coming?
I hope with this pandemic you can at least teach by remote
its, not the same thing I know, and the proverbial young college minds whirring with fresh new perspectives and writing
each one wants to be the next Barker, King, or Poe.
but you've always said be the best first you!
I caught this when you first said it to me
This is why I try so hard to be original with you
well my love I will let you get back to class, and I need sleep
My Heart rests soundly in your hands
your Dew.


COMMENTS

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Fuckingover it? maybe not

01:18 Sep 06 2021
Times Read: 188


i want t all to end
old tired and sleep is the only escape
and then these beautiful redheads waltz into my life like a team of shuffle dancers and make me feel like its ok to want to live


COMMENTS

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BloodRoseTristesseX
BloodRoseTristesseX
11:09 Sep 23 2021

Hang on in there, Darvy!








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