love songs stay the same.
letting go of something is hard to do.
what's done is done.
what is now and in the future are unknown.
it's not easy, nor will it be.
I just can't change what's in my heart.
nor will i , it will always be the same.
no matter what bridges you cross.
what swords may pierce your heart.
I will always love you, and will always be there for you.
No matter what time brings know that I'll still be here just the same.
I love you with all my heart.
I know its hard. But we both know it needs to happen. We are just two different people who want different things out of life. I know you will always be there and love me and you need to know that I return that love and support.
You are doing so much and you are doing so well. I am so proud of you. I love you very much.
SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up ( Peter Pan Syndrome ). Indulges self . Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypoc ritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted.=2 0Beautiful inside and out
How the hell does this thing know me.
*The following is used with permission*
Oringaly started off With Mystic saying I was mean.
Oct 10 2008
That's just a rumor.
Oct 10 2008
the gray spy gave me the proof!
Oct 11 2008
Oh really now. I'd like to see this so called proof.
Oct 11 2008
you'll have to get through an elaborate trap to get my briefcase :P
Oct 16 2008
Does it involve an umbrella or spring, or perhaps a bomb?
Oct 16 2008
Oct 16 2008
I'll show you maybe. *hides his weapon of choice somewhere in the room*
Oct 16 2008
great now i have to figure out where....
Oct 17 2008
*Opens the door to the other room searching for the evidence. *
Oct 17 2008
Oct 19 2008
what no kaboom? where's my earth shattering kaboom.
Oct 20 2008
it was on a delayed timer ;]
Oct 20 2008
"Omg, You killed Fizbop.... You (sensored word here)"
Good thing I can respawn and look again and now that your bomb's been detonated hahahaha. I will get the evidence and fly away in my plane.
Oct 20 2008
hey what do you think this is? a comic strip??
Oct 21 2008
Hehehe, you just jelous I thought of it.
Oct 21 2008
indeed i am :P
796.10 to go on cruise :(
230 for plane tickets estimated from priceline, expedia etc.
To Futher prove I'm not a geek or nerd.
Would a geek or nerd have this ?
So many things in life are changing, and yet some things are reverting back to how they were. I feel utterly useless as of late, I’m finding it hard to focusing on what I need to do. There are way too many things are piling up on me. There are bills that are way past due that I can’t even begin to pay. It’s not even near the end of the month yet and I already know I can’t pay the rent or car payments. Phone, internet, and what not either I need help. I’m stuck in my lease until August which means that I would have to term that lease in May and move out by August.
Mieta’s moving on to other things but still loves me and cares about me. I feel at a loss for this honestly. I’m trying to support her, and Kaoru, and Olivia and Jesse all at the same time. I can’t do this by myself, and I have way too much to worry about right now. With school and barely time for anything other then to eat and sleep I have no time for anything much else. I really don’t have the money or financial support I need anymore. I barely make a living and slide barely by with the bear minimum.
I really don’t know what to do here I feel like I’m going to fall apart and have another mental breakdown. I really need assistance, and no one’s offering. I can’t do this by myself. It will stress me out to the maximum. I fell so lost and not needed for anything. Someone help me please. I’m not doing this to complain about anything but to pour my feelings out into it and let go some of the major stress I have. So to anyone that takes this the wrong way, don’t even bug me about it cuz it’s not meant as that. This is just my personal thoughts that I need to get out before I really break down.
I know I have to eventually accept the things that will change in my life. I know this full heartedly but doesn’t change who I am , or how I feel.
Ahhh old friend i know all too well what you feel right now agout this kind of thing. I'm still well stuck on it as well, but just always keep your head up man you have to be strong or it will consume you like quick sand....
Always remember my friend that with change comes new opportunities and new doors to open. I know it is hard to do but trust that everything will work out in the end and hold that head up high because I know your a survivor and will not falter under the seemingly always rising waters.
Brain Lateralization Test Results
|Right Brain (56%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain.Left Brain (38%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain|
I had planned on writing a school entry for today, however due to events that happend last night at my apartment. I felt compleded to write about that. I get home from school forgot the milk for Kaoru. It's ok but I have a lot on my mind. I get set up to do my art project for class on thrusday.
So the sink makes this strange gurgling sound. I usualy hear it and ignore it. So I start drawing, and Mieta's states the sinks are backing up. (usualy they don't overflow) So I'm ok well I'm doing my homework and need to focus on that. Then she goes to the bathroom where the sink has filled up and is starting to over fill onto the floor. She tells me again except its in the bathroom and that it's flooding over.
So I have to set aside my homework and bail the bathroom out. While bailing the bathroom sink out I make a call to maintainance and explain to them that my three sinks are flooding over and to hurry and fix it. They don't come til 1020pm. Supposedly there had been another apartment that was doing the same thing in another building. One building that was on fire, and some guy who was a pig (meaning extremly lived dirty) had a roach infestation.
So the job gets done around 1245am. Which is about the time I had a bit more done on my school work. With the bailing out the sink and waiting for him I wasted an hour that I could have done more work in. So kudos for the full moon living up to really strange things happen on a full moon
Bleh! I hate that we are stuck in these crappy ass apartments til August of next year...T,T
I would have been more help had Kaoru not woken up. Grr. At least you had time to do somethings, and got to spend some time with the baby. And um...ew...Cockroaches...T,T
Haha I'm spamming you with comments! *Spam spam spam*
And Eggs!...Hm...now I'm hungry... -.-
Hehe...Love you. I'm so proud of you for working so hard in school, and at work. :D
So how the project turn out?
omg how gross at least you guys are ok
I need profile help... it's way too long :(
Journal lists that I have, those that haven't written in a while with the exception of a few have been removed for lack of posting in their journals. Sorry but I'm not going to keep you on there if your not writing in it. I like to read about things and try to comment on them if I have a point to make.
So those of you that were removed it was due to lack of updateing them.
As always if you do post something new and keep it up monthly at least I'll add you back.
This is no offence to anyone I just really don't want to have to sift threw them all just to find out there's nothing that's been written since jan 8 2008 .... Most of you were gone that whole time anyways.
But anyways if you want back in just let me know. You know who you are.
Well EXCUUUUUSSSSSSSSSEEEEE me!
hehehehe....yeah I gotta write some more..
Can't blame me... :-P I haven't been on your favorite journal list in a long long time.... so :-P again....
Not that I write much even though I am supposedly a hot button.... LOL.
Got to see my kids. They are very talkitive and chattering away. Both are extremly intellengent by my personaly viewpoint. I can't believe how tall they have gotten. I got one picture with them I didn't shave so I have a beard in the picture which will be put into my port soon. I miss them already, it was very difficult to say goodbye. Perhaps I'll get to revisit with them soon.
Financially I'm not doing all that well but it's another step to try to clear up.
School starts tomorrow.
A new section has opened up for my schooling. To find out what's going on all you need to do is read it. For speach class it is required that we keep a journal entry for our class. So to keep up the writing spirit. I shall be puting my thoughts on the class in my School Journal section of this very journal. I challenge anyone to critique it and provide me with feedback and spelling and grammar corrections only in for that section of my journal.
All my poems have been moved to the stories section.
So for now you can send me a message on anything you can point out to help me better myself in school. Massive reports comming this week stay tuned to this journal
I'm going to see my kids today! I only hope I can find a way to get back.. New pictures of my kids will be up as soon as I get back with thier daddy. (that's me)
I struggles with correct spelling and correct usage of grammar, this is why I original started to write my stories. So that I could become accustomed to spelling and grammar usage. However, it's not my forte and I still struggle with it. There are words I have no understanding of their meaning. Does this mean I'm stupid or unintellegent no. It means that I have problems with it.
I have an 8th grade reading and understanding level. Schools thought it would be best to hold me back in remedial courses. This only lead to me feeling unclear of what I was capable of. In the end I thought I could do no better then that.
Jay was the insperation of the original Darkwolfman and Fizbop story. Hence why his name is before mine. So thank you Jay for that.
Another fault of mine is drawing. People claim I'm very good at it. But I don't have that same amount of faith in myself. I wasn't very good in art classess. Todate I still have a Titanic Model that I have yet to build or even paint. A reference to this is the fact my hand eye cordnation is crap. 3 stars on guitar hero III for medium when i've seen a kid out play me. 3 stars on most songs in rock band. I can't even play the drums on medium.
But alas I keep trying to push myself to something new and exciting. I will keep trying new things, and old. I will have a bit more faith in my skills and knowledge. If you want to see what writing I'm capable of see my stories located in this very journal.
With help and feedback I can become more then what I am.