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I had a dream last night. One that still haunts me. There was a man in my dream, who, as time passed, took on the many faces of those that I know around me. I don't know who he was suppose to be. Maybe he wasn't suppose to be anyone at all... Just the embodiment of man himself. Raw, and chiseled, and wanting, beautiful, and perfect... All throughout the dream I followed him around. i just couldn't stand to not be near him. His presence calmed me and made me hot. I wanted him inside me, but I was too afraid to tell him to his face. In my dream, we had many friends in common, so it wasn't weird when I showed up to where he was. I flirted with him, I wanted him. But would such a beautiful creature want me, with how big I am, with how overweight I am, despite how much work I put into losing it. How hard I try to make the right choices... Would a man want me, who had a body like that, eyes like that, perfect skin, and toned muscles, when my grooming routine was similar to his? Because of the PCOS... But I wanted him so badly. For him to touch me, to look me in the eyes. I wanted to be the reason there was a smile on his face and a tightness in his jeans.... I needed him giving me pleasure as much as I wanted to give him pleasure... I wanted him to take me, without warning, without reason.... As the dream moved along, I got more desperate, as he toyed with me. I knew he wanted me. I could feel it every time I was around him. But he'd get close and then back away, like I was something he wanted to touch, but wasn't sure if the result would shock him. And finally, I told him, "I need your lips on mine. I can't keep you out of my head. I want your hands all over me. I want you buried to the hilt..." The look on his face was one of knowing, and of surprise. The dream shifted and we were finally going to have each other. I was going to feel his lips against mine. He was going to dive into me with his tongue, and taste me as I writhed against him. He was going to taste my essence. I needed to be inside him, as much as I needed him inside me... He eased on top of me, told me I was beautiful, kissing his way up my body... his hands fumbling with his zipper... and me struggling to help him... He finally eased inside of me and my voice rushed out of my throat like I was an animal protecting its prey... and then I told him to "Take me" with a quiet growl, and he didn't hesitate....



I woke with every muscle aching, my head spinning, and very confused. I've never had a dream about want and need and desire. Dreams about sex, yes, but never a dream about needing to desperately feel his breath on my skin, or him throbbing inside me as pleasure took us over. I've never -needed- it before... I still don't know who that man was, or he was suppose to be. If he's even real, or if it was some figment of my imagination... Oh god, how I want him to be real....