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I went grocery shopping with my dad and the cashier starts singing to me about my coupons. I think I like being randomly serenaded.

I swear the internet is stalking me. I looked at Dominoes pizza deals and Deb shops summer dresses, and now every other ad I see is about pizza or has a dress in it.

What is the "real world" and why do you think I am not privy to it? Is there some fake world I am experiencing?

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lordess
04:36 Apr 28 2014

I experience that, too, at times. This world is chaotic in the sense that it is constantly evolving. You just need to find yourself - who you are, what you are seeking and how are you going to go about it.



:)

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Sometimes I wonder if I am the exception to the rules- the rules of life:



1. Birth

2. School- Elementary, Middle, and High

3. College

4. Internship

5. Entry Level Job

6. Series of Promotions

7. Retirement

8. Death



I have managed to fulfill steps 1,2, and 3.



What if 4 & 5 are not meant for me? Why am I continually being told I am not the best candidate for the position- whether the position involves skills I went to school for or flipping burger?



I am not going to give up my relentless job search, but I am going to pick up hobbies that make me happy. My mother is not speaking to me again because she thinks the cheap sewing machine I bought is my new career. Well, my current career, unemployed student, is not paying at all. Does it matter either way? I say again, I am not giving up the relentless job search but at least starving artists can sell there art on the internet.

I'm always at a loss for words with strangers and acquaintances- struggling to go beyond "How are you," and "The weather is quite nice." Conversations are truly master puzzles. Phone calls are 100x worse.

COMMENTS

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deathnitegrl
19:18 Apr 16 2014

Yep, I really hate everyday conversations.

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Complained to my teacher that you can't accurately cite sources on a timed closed-book test and he changed my score from a 85% to a 90%. I am pleased.

My dad keeps telling people I'm not sick and that I have allergies. I keep telling him that I am on prescription allergy medication and that I am 100% certain I have a cold...or something that causes sore throat, chest congestion, and fatigue.



I guess it does not matter, but I really can not wait for it to pass over.

She is angry at me over a cup I tried to recycle. Still angry.



I am angry that she is angry at me over a cup. At this point, I am glad she is not talking to me because ,when she was, she was always asking me to do things for her. I am not retrieving any cups of ice or sodas today.

My mother ignored me all day.What have I done wrong now? I wish I knew.



I just feel so frustrated...angry. And hurt. Now, more than ever, I wish to be an emotional black hole.

The idea of not feeling anything, becoming as emotionally empty as the pages I mean to write on these days, appeals to me.



Interesting how emotional hurt physically manifests in the body.