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Joli's Journal


Joli's Journal

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20 entries this month
 

18:50 Oct 31 2024
Times Read: 80


THE KIND OF FAITH THAT ISSUES FROM DESPAIR: T.S. ELIOT
From "The Cocktail Party" (1949)

All cases are unique, and very similar to others.

You will change your mind, but you are not free.
Your moment of freedom was yesterday.
You made a decision. You set in motion
Forces in your life and in the lives of others
Which cannot be reversed.”

“Half the harm that is done in this world
Is due to people who want to feel important.
They don’t mean to do harm — but the harm does not interest them.
Or they do not see it, or they justify it
Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle
To think well of themselves.”

“There is another way, if you have the courage.
The first I could describe in familiar terms
Because you have seen it, as we all have seen it,
Illustrated, more or less, in lives of those about us.
The second is unknown, and so requires faith —
The kind of faith that issues from despair.
The destination cannot be described;
You will know very little until you get there;
You will journey blind. But the way leads towards possession
Of what you have sought for in the wrong place.”


COMMENTS

-



LiamK
LiamK
19:24 Nov 09 2024

you see things like this
give me very little patience with that contingent of the population who insist that "this generation"'s struggles are new and unique

there's maybe something reassuring in the constancy of humanity
in the better lights





Joli
Joli
23:00 Nov 09 2024

I like that perspective





 

06:25 Oct 30 2024
Times Read: 147


Only a respite,
Sweet interlude
Where we can inhale hope
And exhale soft omissions.
What's the harm
Sweet time-out-of-time
In one last dream
Of who we might have been?


COMMENTS

-



Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
08:02 Oct 30 2024

So true of words and thought





birra
birra
23:44 Oct 30 2024

This feels like a sigh for eternity.





Joli
Joli
01:59 Oct 31 2024

Or intermission ...real life will begin again soon





LiamK
LiamK
19:25 Nov 09 2024

had to cut the music for this one
I had to hear you





 

Ndutu Yah Got the Shine

22:34 Oct 29 2024
Times Read: 191


Ndutu Yah got the shine, girl.
She asked me for change
But I need change from her.
I ain't afraid of the doll's eye
Lookin at me through celluloid tape
Yellow tape on her forehead,
A window pane
Or a hidden door,
I don't know no more.
She got a djembe heart;
Cricket say the djembe in her chest.
I want to hear
But she scratchin the earth
She searchin the earth
I gotta say somethin
But my words got no brakes
And if that eye blink
That broken doll eye...
She say it don't have a mind,
The earth. That's why she scratchin.
I feel her watch me
Snatch down some Spanish moss
And dangle it from my chin.
Her spine roll up slow
And she nod.
"The year changin now, Hatshepsut.
Words don't mean nothin
And absinthe just melt the sugar, you know?"
I do.
Ndutu Yah got the shine, girl.
The lingue' tree spirit
Smile with her lips
And that djembe heart drum,
Il est magique,
Beat with a bass and slap
That's the stuff
That's the scratch
We gonna find the mind.


COMMENTS

-



birra
birra
23:45 Oct 30 2024

I love your poetry because it often makes me look up words I don't know. :)





Joli
Joli
02:15 Oct 31 2024

I don't care why you do, just makes me happy that you still do.





LiamK
LiamK
19:29 Nov 09 2024

and absinthe just melt the sugar, you know?

I do.

I'm not sure I hear the words as they're meant to be, though, queen regeant



Joli
Joli
01:10 Nov 10 2024

I like this one out loud. I had fun with the rhythm and beat of it





 

Joseph Campbell

20:32 Oct 28 2024
Times Read: 238


"People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what we're really seeking. I think that what we're seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive."


COMMENTS

-



birra
birra
22:11 Oct 28 2024

Very astute.

I've often said that the meaning of life is exactly what you think it is... no matter what you think it is. It's up to you to live it.





Joli
Joli
17:18 Oct 29 2024

I love "feel the rapture of being alive"
I'm definitely in the sweet spot of this right now.





captainglobehead
captainglobehead
19:27 Oct 29 2024

That's fantastic to hear!





Joli
Joli
20:28 Oct 29 2024

Thank you, my friend!





 

Filaments and Flights of Fancy

02:50 Oct 27 2024
Times Read: 319


Your stacatto snare-drum tale
Too lyrical on my lips.
I keep forgetting to climb the damn fountains,
My own quixotic windmills...
Remind me to tell you about that,
Min skald.

Regret is a liar and a thief -
You taught me to pluck threads
From the ether
Best fucking gift I was ever given.
Easy, Fortuna...

Gossamer threads,
Dewy spider silk threads
Of skerried shores
Stitched to a delta coast,
Hold their breath.

Sister Sea
You, I
Time gone by
A soft and weary sigh
And eye that seeks to see

Where are you now, Kanchanaburi?
Dreaming tigers unconstrained.


COMMENTS

-



LiamK
LiamK
18:57 Oct 27 2024

I like you adventurous





captainglobehead
captainglobehead
19:08 Oct 27 2024

That was awe inspiring





Joli
Joli
19:25 Oct 27 2024

Thank you. Born of a bittersweet nostalgic mood.





 

23:16 Oct 25 2024
Times Read: 370


I am so addicted to sound healing. Give me all the Tibetan sound bowls, chimes and gongs. Heaven. When the door closes, everything I've walked away from stays outside. It is one of the best things I've ever done for myself, and a great way to end the work week.

I try to go to a different yoga class each day, but Yin is what my heart, body, and soul longs for.

Killing time...15 more minutes, then bliss.


COMMENTS

-



SireWallFlower
SireWallFlower
23:51 Oct 25 2024

I used to want a wind-chime in my bedroom but then my cousin said, "what if that b*tch clangs in the middle of the night and no one is there?"





Joli
Joli
00:51 Oct 26 2024

That made me laugh...a lot! I love it.





 

15:40 Oct 25 2024
Times Read: 402


Dismantling the dam and setting my river back to its natural course. Surrendering to the flow of Love and divine inspiration.


COMMENTS

-



captainglobehead
captainglobehead
19:07 Oct 27 2024

*heart*





Joli
Joli
19:48 Oct 28 2024

You're so sentimental. Love that.





 

"Come to terms with your fears and desires" - Clarence Worley (True Romance)

06:32 Oct 25 2024
Times Read: 427


I want a balanced life - harmonious, centered, and affirmative...even in suffering. To not only experience my own sorrows, but to be willing to see/share in the sorrows of others with compassion.

Compassion compels the heart to awaken from a singular perspective of self-interest to an inclusive one. The word "compassion" literally means "suffering with."


COMMENTS

-



gothicdragon
gothicdragon
14:29 Oct 26 2024

I like this post for unlike most it is journal entries it is not so much about the writer but about making whoever stops to read think about oneself. Which that it has done. Thank you





Joli
Joli
22:12 Oct 26 2024

I'm so glad. Thank you.





LiamK
LiamK
19:32 Nov 09 2024

I feel like you've spent much of your life at this
I think you're doing it well





 

22:31 Oct 24 2024
Times Read: 465


Sometimes, when you think nobody can see you at all, the kindness appears from nowhere.

It took you a moment... And in my moment, it meant everything. Thank you.


COMMENTS

-



SireWallFlower
SireWallFlower
22:38 Oct 24 2024

:)





CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
01:04 Oct 25 2024

I definitely agree that there is still kindness out there, sometimes it shows up in the least expected places.





Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
03:35 Oct 25 2024

yes its out there and hard to see right now, but sometimes you get surprised.





Joli
Joli
04:58 Oct 25 2024

The smallest gesture might make all the difference in someone's day. It costs so little.





 

Blue Snare

08:35 Oct 24 2024
Times Read: 508


Knothole shapes shift in the paneling
As soon as she is alone again.
Dustmotes shimmer in the spiderwebs
That no one else sees.
She worries that the upstairs neighbor
Is intentionally dripping,
Incessantly dripping.
Her dislocated reason bends backward
Like the finger joint of a madman
Showing the way.
She waits for the face
On the back of her head
To scream on cue
As she unravels,
A cardboard tube
Curling into galaxy arms
That wobble and spin
Like a pinwheel
In the wheeze
Of a feverish God-child.
She's so dizzy in this Milky Way
Cnidarian blur,
Stinging cells tangling
In her eyelashes,
A medusa tide
Pulsing in her veins.
Why does no one see the spiderwebs?


COMMENTS

-



Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
09:01 Oct 24 2024

Amazing





Joli
Joli
09:06 Oct 24 2024

Thank you





birra
birra
14:13 Oct 24 2024

This time of year I don't clean the spiderwebs... it's about the only decorating I do.





Joli
Joli
19:59 Oct 24 2024

Efficiency in action!





captainglobehead
captainglobehead
21:56 Oct 25 2024

That was worth reading and re-reading.





Joli
Joli
22:46 Oct 25 2024

Thank you!





 

PRIVATE ENTRY

05:03 Oct 24 2024
Times Read: 512


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •


 

Good morning, morning

16:18 Oct 22 2024
Times Read: 568


Drawing from a deep well of gratitude

Love
Warm pups in still nights
The smell and taste of strong hot coffee
Deer regarding me from the treeline
Breath in my lungs
Life instilled with new hope
Mindfulness
Self-discovery
Freedom
Peace


COMMENTS

-



birra
birra
01:02 Oct 24 2024

Warm pups can be very soothing and healing....

....now... I want to see the puppies.





LiamK
LiamK
18:16 Oct 24 2024

have the deer been at your garden?
it's the time of year for that, at least here. but perhaps your pups discourage them





Joli
Joli
20:01 Oct 24 2024

It's more that I'm in their garden. Surrounded by woods, they are confident to go where they please





 

Tiresius, Alas

02:03 Oct 22 2024
Times Read: 608


The allure of a dream...
Egret, white on the wing
In a rose quartz sky.
Too much of augury
And auspices
On my porch tonight
Where the Creole moon
Whispers a tarot tale,
Reversing a beloved cup
To pour you a drink, my love,
Dipped from the River Lethe
That your shade may waft
To the shore of Asphodel,
A liminal sigh on the wind
Of the violet hour,
Striving ever homeward.


COMMENTS

-



LiamK
LiamK
18:14 Oct 24 2024

At the violet hour, the evening hour that strives
Homeward, and brings the sailor home from sea




Joli
Joli
20:02 Oct 24 2024

Keen eye, as ever. Love you, my sweet friend!





LiamK
LiamK
19:35 Nov 09 2024

really do love this one





Joli
Joli
00:48 Nov 10 2024

It wrote itself, honestly. It wanted to be written.





 

12:09 Oct 21 2024
Times Read: 650


Sleepless nights are at least a deep well of thought. All is quiet, save for the warm pup looking up at me with the deepest brown-eyed concern as he snuggles closer.

I find I am good here in my thoughts. I don't wish for...I've lost my curiosity about such things along with my shock. Now, it just is.

Far from the first person to feel loss, I reach for myself this morning. I remember me, untangled from other. I reach for those who are reaching for me with arms, life buoys, and love. So many arms reaching, so much love that my poor heart couldn't grasp only days ago. I'm grasping now.

I'm sorry I couldn't lift my arms yesterday. Heartache is an anchor that tries to pull you under the waves, and the willingness to follow, to just sink into the depths... But your arms are welcome now. I am so loved. I can see it now even through a broken eye.

Grateful for a new morning. Hopeful for new things today. And they will come.


COMMENTS

-



LiamK
LiamK
19:45 Nov 09 2024

Seeing so much of myself in those thoughts that trail off in elipses.
I wish I had something better to add. But we're here.





Joli
Joli
00:47 Nov 10 2024

But we're here.





 

A season such as this

18:23 Oct 20 2024
Times Read: 700


These have been some of the most contemplative days of my life. That's saying something because I spend a lot of time in my head. It is a time of looking at it all and choosing, despite what I learn, to remain fully true to who I aspire to be.

I choose gratitude. I accept sorrow, even when it feels very heavy in my arms. If it is mine to carry, I will. I release judgement while being fully present and awake. There is grace enough here for all, even when it is so very hard.

I am just making my way and trying to do so honestly, sipping from an unwanted cup without asking anyone else to have a taste. And that's ok. I can be here in this place working on nothing more than this moment.

I want a wall where I can take thoughts from my head and paste them here with an honesty that aims at noone but myself. If you have a question for me, please ask. I do not bite.


COMMENTS

-



 

TS Eliot

17:41 Oct 20 2024
Times Read: 704


To arrive where you are, to get from where you are not,
You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy.
In order to arrive at what you do not know
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
In order to possess what you do not possess
You must go by the way of dispossession.
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
And what you do not know is the only thing you know And what you own is what you do not own
And where you are is where you are not.


COMMENTS

-



birra
birra
23:13 Oct 21 2024

Many years ago I ventured into an old friend's used book store and found the works of TS Eliot. Inspired by a friend to get to know his works more intimately, I feel that book sought me out as much as I sought it.

It still has its own reserved place on my bookshelf in my home office, and when I lack something to read, I open it and get to know some of his writings again.

Friends from all walks of life can have a lasting impact...





Joli
Joli
01:10 Oct 22 2024

Thank you. This comment means a lot.





 

Arundhati Roy - The Cost of Living

14:12 Oct 20 2024
Times Read: 718


"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget."


COMMENTS

-



 

This Next Breath

01:36 Oct 20 2024
Times Read: 764


Laid waste in the Badlands
And crowded by silence,
She combs crows from her hair
And wills her roots ever deeper.
A museum of dreams
Exhaled into a parched tomorrow,
She is only now
And perhaps this next breath.
The surprising armor
Of a hollowed - out ache
Affords the courage of surrender
Fully to love,
Fully to wind
That whirls her leathery leaves
But cannot topple her core,
Seeded along a deeply etched scar
Where already blooms
The ineffable soul.


COMMENTS

-



 

17:04 Oct 19 2024
Times Read: 827


For many years, this journal was such a place of joy. I've missed having a wall where I can tape a scribble here and there. I went back through the years and revisited so many good times with you. Feeling grateful.


COMMENTS

-



Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
17:50 Oct 19 2024

Why we write ourr thoughts to enjoy them as the time has skipped by





Joli
Joli
17:52 Oct 19 2024

It was an unexpected fount of good memories I didn't realize I really missed.





LiamK
LiamK
18:10 Oct 19 2024

you know I haven't been here for many years... glad to see you're still out there





Cartomancer
Cartomancer
00:26 Oct 20 2024

Welcome back!





CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
00:32 Oct 20 2024

Welcome back :)





Joli
Joli
01:37 Oct 20 2024

Thank you!





 

Mai Stirring

18:21 Oct 16 2024
Times Read: 917


The scholar rolls his shoulders,

Raises his creased brow past candle

To the window, that he might regard her once again,

Causing the carefully curated pages to spill from his lap

She stirs. Feet firmly pressed into the earth, knees deeply bent, she balances there

Over a low fire. She seems to him as sturdy as the bamboo bridge of Hoi An

He counts five as she seasons the measure of each element into the clay vessel:

Mouthing the simple words for fire, water, earth, metal and wood

Stirring again, each grain of rice surrendering to her unhurried hand

To break. To bloom.

Like the lotus of her bearing

He discerns

Lá lành ðùm lá rách

The green leaf covers the broken one


COMMENTS

-



birra
birra
21:40 Oct 19 2024

And with that, my spirit is lifted. :)





Joli
Joli
21:49 Oct 19 2024

Thank you. It felt so good to write here again.





LiamK
LiamK
20:04 Nov 09 2024

He counts five as she seasons the measure of each element into the clay vessel:

you're too good at this. I didn't need the next line.



Joli
Joli
23:03 Nov 09 2024

No, I'm sure you didn't. Thank you.








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