The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Ave , hope everyone has had a great weekend. I have experienced alot of things in this life. Some of which has been the most cruel of humanity. I have held a secret for a few years. With the help of my fiancee and seeking treatment im getting help for PTSD.

I kept my secret from everyone. My closest friends my family on both dayside and nightshade. I realize thru healing that keeping this secret only gives the pain and trauma a hold over me.

My son's father for 6 yrs was very cruel to me behind closed doors. In front of others he put on the perfect show. For pictures and family events. I was abused physically, emotionally, and sexually.

I have always been the strong independent one especially after my dad passed away. I am the one that handles everything for my family. So how could I tell them what was happening to me? I was embarrassed and upset at how could I allow myself to get in this type of situation. I lost faith in myself until I. Began to realize thru healing that he used my empathy against me. Those closest to me will tell you that my heart is way to big and has gotten me into trouble because of empathy I care way more than I should.

In trying to get out of this situation, I ran to my mother's. Which led to alot more emotional stress and trauma. This year I have had to deal with the most hurtful betrayals by those that is supposed to love me. I dont know which one hurt the most. The one whom gave me life? Or one I gave life too?

Alot of healing and spiritual transformation has begun in me. I have always sought knowledge to be my most enlightened and best self that I can be.

Over the few weeks, another hurt struck home. As my heart was shattered and I lay in bed crying myself to sleep. Something happened. Something spiritual. I heard myself say. Are you gonna continue living your life to be what everyone else wants you to be?

Or are you gonna embrace your actual self and be who you are? Walk the path that is for you?

So I finally after my whole life flashed in front of my eyes of always putting others needs and wants above my own. I chose myself for once

I am realizing thats its ok to allow to be myself. That my one voice does matter as much as everyone else's.

To my family and friends who support me during these healing changes. I love you and im blessed to have you in my life.

This is a new chapter of my life. One where I continue to discover myself. To find my enlightenment and build what is meant for me too.

COMMENTS

-

---

LORDMOGY
23:17 Oct 25 2020

---

POST COMMENT

I just got a call about a journal on this site. I wanted to let you know that I honestly didn't know you were using it as a alliance name. Im am going thru spiritual changes and name was given to me by the dark mother.

If you remember you told me of this back December of last year that this transformation would take place. We may no longer talk but I have to say you were right.

Your gonna believe what you choose to. But honestly this is a reflection of what is taking place in the community and as ive done for several years. I just reflected what was happening in myself in community here.

It honestly wasnt anything to with you.

COMMENTS

-

---

ReaperSoulMate
20:16 Oct 09 2020

Plus you mostly stay quite 100% of the time TBH.
They always think everyone is copying them, some people just have enough of them bickering and shut them out.

---

Villainous
20:22 Oct 09 2020

You know what I am gonna catch hell and youll probably threaten me with blocks for commenting but here we go anyway. Yes I said you would go through changes....and I am praying that maybe you will be a better person than what you have been for well over 2 years not the point. When we separated I opened Eternal Night that was in April. I could have easily changed my alliance name last but when I thought about it the fit you threw over me wanting to reopen Shadowed Angels came to mind. I was gifted that coven I have have every right to open that coven as per what I have been told by admins...I didnt because of the hell you would have put me through. So yeah I wrote journals to prevent from giving you blocks and ones like you would have done to me I deleted them and took a different action. Now if that said fit wouldnt have happened who knows you might have been able to house coven with that name we will never know. Hope things are well.....I dont want drama for commenting considering this is directed at me in the first place.

---

MagistraLadyAdiana
21:05 Oct 09 2020

I am not trying to hurt, or disrespect anyone , Honestly I didn't know your alliance name, when I went my own way, I kept to myself, I am not gonna argue with you, how you feel is how you feel, I am not gonna be upset about the name, Have I always reflected my growth on this site, yes I have, but if its not meant to be, that's fine, it doesn't change the personal growth and changes happening within my life, I don't hold any ill will towards you, We just needed to go our own separate ways, I posted the journal to let you know, that honestly I wasn't aware of your alliance name, the dark mother has been coming to me, you do know how that is, I have done all that she has requested. I have made my journal, your gonna feel and think how you choose to do so, but Many Blessings to you... you will do you, and I will be me

---

POST COMMENT