I was listening to a song someone introduced me to some time ago, and it made me smile. Just remembering all those fun times we had. Things got off track so fast, but, such is life. We all make silly mistakes and stupid decisions, not realizing how much those damage everything until it's far too late to fix what's broken. But, the fact that I can still smile, that says a lot. Nothing is the same, nothing is like it used to be, but, that one song, those simple memories. I will always have those to hold on to.
Life is full of twists and turns but the trick to navigating it all is to hang on to the good things in life, the things that make us smile, the things that give us purpose, the things that renew our spirits. Always try to look towards the future and what you can do instead of looking at the past and what you once did.
I grew up watching awesome shows and movies, from Monty Python to Ghostbusters to the original Godzilla movies, and so much in between. Tonight I finally sat down and watched the new Godzilla flick that came out earlier this year. It was... Interesting.
I enjoyed it, but I didn't. I appreciate the slow burn approach taken with actually showing Godzilla in all his awesome glory. It left you wanting and when it came, it did not disappoint. Yeah, I saw the 1998 flick in theatres with my brother and my parents, yeah, when I was eleven, I really loved that movie... Yes, I am ashamed to actually admit that publicly. When you compare the two movies, this new version stands far above. The look of Godzilla being the most important aspect. The '98 version had a slim, somewhat awkward monster in place of the hulking mass of bad assery that is Godzilla. The look in the new film is so much better, it's like seeing the original kaiju from the original movie. Godzilla doesn't need to be slender and sleek and whatever else the '98 version was, he is a towering monster, he should be large and in-freaking-charge. I love my little fatty kaiju. And, his roar. Ah, his voice was just so awesome. I couldn't help but smile every time he let loose and roared like he owned the place.
The issue I had with the film was the human aspect of the story. The acting was subpar, and the story was nothing special. It was like they were trying to shove the military and all its might right down our throats. The visuals were outstanding. God, that scene when they jumped out of the plane and we're falling through the clouds with the flairs hooked to their boots, god, that was something else. And, who doesn't want to see San Francisco get stomped on by monsters? I know I loved all that destruction, but, that may be because of my bias towards that city. Even so, it was fun to watch. So fun to watch. But yeah, the acting really killed it for me. I am all for the human element in the story, but it seemed like the titular character was a supporting act in his own film.
The fights between Godzilla and the MUTO also did not disappoint. Those scenes were a visual treat, my eyes ate it all up. If you're not rooting for Godzilla in the end, you have no soul. None. You're an empty shell masquerading as a human being. Well, okay, not really.
All-in-all, I say that this was a great way to reboot the Godzilla franchise, but as an overall movie, it was lackluster. The visual effects cannot make your forget the acting and story, as much as I wish they could. I'm glad I didn't see it in the theatre, I would have been sorely disappointed if I actually wasted money on a movie ticket for that, but, I do not regret the 2+ hours I spent tonight watching it.
My family doesn't do communication very well. We're not really talkers, we don't like to share our feelings or do any of that idle chat chat nonsense. Well, I should say my father is like that. I'm sure my mother would talk until her tongue fell out of her mouth, but she has learned that none of us are really into talking things out. My brother and I take after my dad in this. For example, my brother graduated with his BS last month, yet we didn't find out until about two weeks ago when his wife told us. And, it's not like we have the excuse of distance to keep us from talking to one another, we live in the same house. My sister-in-law is the exception in this house, she is always open and talkative.
But, I guess this is why it's so hard for me to open up to people, to sit down and share when I am upset or angry or happy. I was raised that talking isn't such a big deal, the only time my parents sat me down for a serious conversation was when I was in trouble. So, I associate communication as something negative, talking things out is something to be avoided because it means I did something wrong. Add to the fact that I have always been a quiet person and sharing has never been easy for me. I'm not outgoing like my brother. I wall myself off from everyone else and deal with my issues on my own. It's why communication has always been the major factor in why my relationships ended the way they did.
Very few people understand this about me, and fewer still are willing to accept it as the way things are and work on my terms. I do try to be accommodating, but for the most part I can't and things go bad. I try, I really do, but it's hard to break this mold when it's who I am and all I have known. I don't know. I am able to express myself through writing but using my actual voice and speaking aloud, it's not likely to happen. I think that's actually why I picked up writing. It was the only real way for me to get my feelings out there in the open.
There's no real point to this other than me to get my thoughts down. I was thinking about the communication thing this morning. Enough rambling.
Opening up can be hard, but it does help. Getting everything off of your mind and having someone else help carry the burden makes life more livable and tolerable. Not to mention you can get alternative points of view on a situation that you might not see yourself.
Take it from someone who bottled things up for the better part of his life: Unless you release the pressure and vent to someone you're going to explode.
Holy crap, look guys! Look who got her Dominar position back!
I have to thank Cancer for allowing me to hold the position again, and Images for putting my name out there. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!
After four years of being removed from the position, it's nice to be able to jump back into it. This time I won't be making the same mistakes I made the last time.
My new glasses finally came in, thank goodness. Now I can see like I should, and hopefully these headaches will go away from my eyes constantly staining to see properly with my old glasses.
I keep hoping and wishing, but I don't think it's going to happen again.
Such is the way it goes sometimes. We don't always get what we want.
I really wish people would learn how to spell properly. Words like their, there, they're, to, too, your, you're, a lot, allot, here, and hear may sound similar, but each has its own meaning. Not to mention those who throw apostrophes into words that don't require them, and those who don't put a space between punctuation marks and the next word.
When I see adults who make such ridiculous mistakes, I just want to hit them. It's not a rational reaction, I know, but it just seems like pure laziness to carry on spelling like an idiot when you have resources right at your fingertips to ensure you are using the proper word. This is basic stuff, things you should have had drilled into you in school. All these people who claim to be so highly educated spell worse than grade schoolers. Or they have atrocious grammar. When I was in college I couldn't get away with such simple spelling and grammatical errors. Hell, when I was in middle school I couldn't get away with it. My teachers would grade any papers turned in with a zero if you tried to get away with that. Wouldn't you want to present yourself in the best light possible? When you make such simple mistakes you come off as an idiot. Pure and simple.
I think it's freaking lazy, too. I think that's why it annoys me so much to see people making spelling and grammatical errors, because it's so easy to educate yourself with the instant-access of the internet. Out of all the ways you can express yourself... and people chose the "type like I'm uneducated" route. It makes me even angrier when those same lazy idiots then claim to hold every degree under the sun.
I'm glad to see you say that in the College you attended, that sort of shit wasn't tolerated. It's certainly not here - in any way, shape or form. Academic writing is the way in which your entire academic life is based - you pass or fail based purely on how well you can express yourself in a paper. You can't afford to get basic English skills incorrect.
I wish schools were harder on people regarding English. I know people who have come out of school with their shocking English skills and then completely floundered in University, calling it "ridiculous" and "stupid" because of the English standards, and really - EVERYONE should have high standards of English.
I can agree. I am in middle school and if I have a grammar or punctuation mistake, I will get in trouble. Also would get a really awful grade. So I can understand perfectly.
Going on a killing spree in the public lobbies on GTA Online with the boyfriend. I am losing a crap load of cash, since I keep destroying personal vehicles with rockets and the tank, but, it is totally worth it. Totally. Worth. It.
What's money when you can have a great time blowing things up? ;P
Wait until the modders come in and screw everything up.
Yup, totally worth it. A better K/D spread makes players think twice before attacking you. Unfortunately, the average GTA player doesn't think twice... or once.... or at all... I'm pretty sure they function on testosterone and red bull alone.
I guess that means no.
Bungie sent me my stats from the Destiny Beta. I got more kills in the Crucible than I thought I did. And that's awesome, considering it was the first time I ever really played matchmaking against other players. And, I did a lot of missions. The options were very limited, but what I did have to choose from I did over and over and over again. I think I did the one with the mechanical spider thing like, fifteen time. No exaggeration on that, either. I killed a lot of things.
I think I am going to pre-order it anyway. I mean, the way things are going here, I may be around for a little while longer, and it would be great to have access to the Vanguard Armory day one. And then, after everything is done and I'm set, I'll get my Xbox One and get it on that as well.
The jambalaya was a hit. Which means that I will have to make it again.
I'm going to try my hand at making some jambalaya for the family tonight. It's what has been requested by my dad. I found a recipe I think sounds good, so, we'll see how it turns out. I don't eat this stuff, so I won't be able to taste it if it's good, or suffer through eating it if it's horrible.
Headed off to the cemetery. I couldn't go over the weekend, due to my having to wear old glasses. They don't want me driving out to East LA when I can't really read road signs and such. Gonna visit great-grandma and grandpa, David, and see if they finally put up Ralph's plaque.
I've been in a horrible mood since Sunday night, so hopefully visiting them will make me feel better. Somewhat.
I totally read a new Coven's name wrong. Just absolutely wrong... And it made me laugh.
I got my first present from Matthew and a ton of birthday wishes already, and it's only been the tenth for twenty-two minutes.
Goodness, you guys know how to make a girl feel loved. :]
And, I just want to say that I appreciate every message I get on every one of my accounts, and, I will get around to responding to all of you, it just may take me some time.
For now, though, this birthday girl is ready for some sleep.
But, before I do, I want to say that twenty-seven looks like it's going to be a good age. Things are really going my way, and they can only get better from here.
So, there is nothing seriously wrong with my eyes, thank goodness. It was mostly just due to my stupidity with my contacts, my eyes are pretty dry. I have to do some eye drops for a week, and then I'll go back next Saturday to get the actual eye exam and check up so I can get some new glasses. This just means that I will not be wearing contacts for a very long while, and that for about two and a half weeks I am going to be stuck with an old pair of glasses with an old prescription. But, considering what I pulled, this could have been a lot worse. I could have seriously damaged my eyes. It's pretty amazing that I didn't do any permanent damage.
The only thing I did do that is irreversible is the spot on my iris. That's due to blood vessels, and it won't ever fully go away. But, like I said, I'll take it since it isn't anything that keeps me from seeing like I should. It's just a minor discoloration.
Just got home from Landon's birthday party. It was nice getting to spend time with some of my family.
I am going to the optometrist in about an hour get my eyes checked out and put in an order for some new glasses.
Tomorrow I want to go see Guardians of the Galaxy with my mom, then we will probably do my birthday dinner instead of pushing it off to next week. So, that will be nice. But for now, I need a nap.
My right eye is all screwed up.
I'm probably going blind, or going to die. Can't do anything about it, 'cause you know, lack of insurance or money to pay off medical crap.
I'm being melodramatic, because that's how I feel right now. But I can't go to see a doctor, that shit was true.
The horrible dreams are back. And I don't know if they are just way worse this time around... No one is being eaten alive, but...yeah... I don't know. I just don't know.
All things considered, these last few days haven't been all that bad. Not like they usually are. I mean, yeah, sometimes it just hits me like a train at the most unexpected moments, but for the most part I have been able to hold it together. I can make it to Sunday without coming to pieces, I know it.
A lot of it is due to me keeping myself busy. Cleaning, working out, Xbox. I don't give myself the chance to just stop and think about it. So, thanks to those strangers who keep me busy in Halo, and thanks to my amor, who keeps me busy in GTA. The less I think about how much I still miss him and wish he were here, the better I will be.
Today was the last day, and I am so happy about that. You really have no idea. However, I think I'll be doing another portion for the next month or so, until I am right where I need to be. I'm still some ways off right now. But, I'm closer than ever before, and that is motivation enough for me to finish this.
My birthday is Sunday, I'm not looking forward to that. On Saturday, though, is my second cousin Landon's first birthday party, and I am really looking forward to that. His real birthday is tomorrow, born in the early hours of the seventh. He's a little Leo like me. So, that's going to be fun, spending time with my family and not feeling out of sorts and having to leave early like we had to at Jojo's party in June. I think, for my birthday, I'm gonna drive out to LA, leave David and great-grandma some flowers and then maybe go see Guardians of the Galaxy with my mom. We'll likely do the family dinner on Monday since my dad works Sundays. So, that will be nice. I'm all about the little things these days. The stuff I used to take for granted. I won't get what I get forever, and now I really appreciate the time I do get to spend with the people I love. I don't need much to be happy and content.
My dad bought the film, God's Not Dead, and I sat down and watched it today. I wanted to see it when it was in the theatre, but I never got the chance to do so. I really enjoyed the film. A lot of it is about a debate between an atheist Philosophy professor and a student who won't appease that professor by saying God is dead. The story revolves around a few people who are all connected to each other in some way, be it family ties, romance, or student and teacher. And you see them go through their trials, reinforcing their faith, their beliefs. Ultimately though, isn't it just about you? You making that choice to believe in God or to not believe in God.
I am not trying to press religion on anyone here, I firmly believe that everyone should have the freedom to believe, or not believe, in anything they so desire. I'm just thinking out loud, so to speak, about the message I took away from this movie. You don't have to believe in a higher power to live a good life, to be a good person. You make those conscious choices. But to me, to me the arguments presented help to reinforce my core beliefs. I've been a little over the board with my religions and what I held true. And going back to God, turning back to Christianity has been the best decision I have made in my life. Since turning back to Him my life has changed dramatically for the better, and for that I am so very thankful. You may argue that it was me who changed things, and yes, that's true, but only through His guidance did I finally do what I needed to do.
Blah... This entry got a little away from me, from the point. In conclusion, I enjoyed the film. The end.
FiOS is just great. It's nice to have decent Internet speeds.
GTA Online with the boyfriend is proving to be quite entertaining. When I am not getting mowed down by fuck in helicopters, that is.
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO TRY IT YET. D:
I moved before I could, I've seen videos of it online though. It looks like a blash. Heh heh. Literally.
It is a blast. Other players make it less fun when they put bounties on you and such, but even with all that, it is great.
Yeah, loads of fun, especially after you MURDER the convenience store clerks after robbing them and get 3 and 4 star wanted levels...
...never has the Evil Batmobile been shot at so much...
Hey, hey! If they didn't want to be shot in the face then their face shouldn't be so shootable. It's to tempting to not shoot them in the face after I've taken all their money.
What? You two just made me laugh so hard, dear god. xD
I don't like today. So, if you talk to me and I'm short with you, just understand that today is never a good day for me. And I probably won't be back to normal until after my birthday on the tenth. Anniversaries and such...
I forgot how anxious I get when I'm waiting on something awesome to happen or not. I think I'll go play some GTA V to get my mind off things.
Well, that was a real surprise. And, regardless of the answer, if I get to go back or not, I'll still continue to do what I do here because I love this place.
People in glass houses should not be so quick to throw stones.
I'm feeling so unbelievably lazy at the moment. I know I need to actually get up, go to the gym, then have lunch on time for once, but, I can't seem to muster the motivation to do any of it.
I really dislike days like these. I know I need to do things, yet I simply don't want to bother. It bothers me, considering how far I've come since March, only to shut myself down like this. I'll give myself five more minutes before I drag myself out of my bedroom and out to the gym. I'll get on with the mental beat down on myself, that always does the trick.
The best way to think about it is, not as a chore. But as a hobby or a game.
Besides, gyms are more social. As cheesy as it sounds, long walks on the beach are better. :) Enjoy!
I get like that a lot, but once I get motivated I feel much better. I am sure once you drag yer hinny butt out of bed, get to the gym, have a nice lunch (a good sandwich with hummus, cabbage or spinach, and sandwich meat and cheese is always a good healthy choice), will probably make yer day bunches better! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! :) Have a good day!
God, I really hate people. It's a wonder I stick around on social networks such as these when everyone is constantly showing what an absolute idiot they are.
But, I suppose I do because I am no exception to that statement. You people should see my Facebook feed sometimes. Heh.
I went and talked to certain people today, to see what my options were and how soon I could get where I wanted to be. Things look hopeful that I can get started by the end of August. It all depends on how fast I can manage to get right where I need to be, and how soon I can get through the paperwork and other requirements. So, yeah, late August early September seems to be my time line, which is perfect since that is what I was hoping for. I'm excited. I really, really am.
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